He nodded, paused a moment, then said, “So do I need to apply for membership to the bisexual club?”
“Tonight was your audition. You passed!”
“Sweet!” He kissed me. “How do I go about getting my card?”
“Queer people are magic, baby. We just know. It’ll arrive via unicorn in ten business days.”
Caden laughed again, then pressed his lips to mine, kissing me.
It was…everything. I didn’t know what all this meant, where we went from here, but now that I’d had a taste of him, I didn’t know how I’d ever survive without it.
Chapter Eight
Caden
I was in bed, naked, with Alex.
I’d slept in bed, naked, with Alex, after kissing him and touching him and coming with him.
Card or not, I was totally part-bi…or full-bi…? In any case, it wasn’t as if I’d never noticed some guys at least a little bit, including the asshole who tried to steal my husband last night. We’d talked about it more before going to bed, and Alex explained how bisexuality was a spectrum. And now I was on it.
I wondered if all this should be weirder for me than it was. I’d fucked around with a man for the first time last night, but I couldn’t find it in me to stress about it. I still didn’t know what this meant for us. I wanted him. I’d probably always wanted him. But it was one thing to jump into bed with him on our honeymoon in Puerto Vallarta, and a whole different situation when we went home.
When I had to tell my family. When I was suddenly with a man, and it would be something I’d have to tell everyone I knew or people I met…which was shitty…and something Alex still had to do. It was assumed everyone was straight. The world was still screwed up enough that it went that way. We’d talked about it after he’d come out publicly, how this was a thing he would always have to do, for the rest of his life.
If we stayed together, I would to.
I didn’t care, not if it meant having Alex, but it was still…different for me.
I looked down at my husband. We’d cuddled most of the night. He was lying on his stomach now, his far leg bent, his knee pointing toward the edge of the bed. He had the blanket up to his waist, but that same leg was poking out.
I took the time to study him, to study a person I knew as well as I knew myself. I brushed my fingers along his stubble, then across his back and down his spine, before peppering kisses to the freckles along his shoulders. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. I wanted Alex all to myself.
“Mmm. That feels good,” he said in a sleepy, hoarse voice, without looking at me.
I kissed him more, all over his back, before running my fingers tentatively along the edge of the blanket. When he nodded, I pushed it down, danced my fingers over his ass, then bent over and kissed one cheek.
“Remember when we were sixteen and I teased you about your ugly, hairy ass?”
“I do…”
“I was wrong. I like your booty. It’s so not ugly.”
Alex flexed the body part in question. “He likes you too.” We chuckled.
“We’re the biggest dorks on the planet.”
“At least we’re dorks together,” Alex said.
“Good morning, husband.” It was silly and ridiculous and…probably said more than I’d admitted out loud, how much I liked calling him that.
Alex turned his head my way and looked up at me. “Good morning, husband.”
I kissed his cheek. I couldn’t stop kissing him. I was so…mushy when it came to this man.
“I’m scared to get used to hearing you call me that.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No. I like it too much. Just…don’t break my heart, Caden. I know that’s a lot to ask. I know it’s going to be hard, and this is new for you, and maybe it’s just sex…”
“It’s not. How can it be just sex with you?”
“Yeah, but right now we’re safe, away from home and everyone we know. The alternative is being queer outwardly, and…are we in a relationship now?”
“We’re married.”
“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes. “What about your dad? I know how he is. I know he says he’s okay with me, but I also know it would be different if it was you.”
I winced. I’d never told him any of the things my dad had said—getting upset when we slept in the same bed, asking if I was that way with Alex. Saying he had no problem with the gays, but that it wasn’t what he wanted for me. “I didn’t know you knew.”
“You tried to protect me from it, so I let you think you were.”
Jesus, this man. There were no words to express what he did to me, how much I cared for him and needed him.
“I’m not trying to push you, Caden, but we need to think about these things, because as much as I want this, want you, I can’t risk losing you. I’d rather have you as my best friend than not have you at all. If this is going to ruin us, we need to stop.”
He was right, of course he was right. “No matter what happens with this, you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t even know who I am without you, A. Don’t you know that?” Maybe I shouldn’t admit that. Maybe it shouldn’t be true. But I did, and it was.
“Come’ere.” He wrapped his hand around the back of my head and tugged me down on top of him. I took Alex’s mouth with mine, sweeping my tongue over his and feeding him moans to swallow. “How about,” Alex said, “like with the fact that we’re married, we simply…go with it while we’re here. We find a way not to worry about what happens at home and just enjoy being with each other. We can deal with the rest of it later.”
“Together,” I added.
“Together.” Alex smiled. “Now let me make you come.”
“Let’s make each other come. Actually, no. I wanna do it.”
“Okay.” Alex got up and grabbed lube from his bag.
I squirted some in my hand and wrapped my fingers around his thick erection. It was hot to the touch, and it didn’t matter to me that I was touching a dick other than my own for the first time. This was him. My Alex.
He directed me, and we kissed as I jerked us off together, similar to how he’d done it the night before. When we came, we did so together, calling out each other’s name, before collapsing into a sweaty pile of limbs.
A few moments later, I looked over at Alex. “That was awesome. Come shower with me, husband. Also, I’m starving.”
That was exactly what we did. Cleaned up and got dressed and brushed our teeth side by side. We ate breakfast downstairs, then spent the morning exploring the city and the afternoon having fun in the ocean. When I saw the dancer from the night before, he gave me a knowing wink.
That night at dinner, when the musicians at the restaurant played a slow song, I stood and held my hand out for him. “Dance with me, A.”
He let me pull him up, and we danced. He felt so perfect in my arms. How could we have ever lived without this? I didn’t know that I could ever go back.
When we returned to our room, we stripped each other out of our clothes, rubbing and kissing and jerking each other off. I really fucking loved jacking Alex’s cock. Who knew?