I could see the familiar lines of confusion creasing his forehead, the ones he always got when he was thinking too hard or trying to figure something out. Still, he didn’t ask, didn’t question me in any way before agreeing.
I’d gotten some clothes in Puerto Vallarta, since I hadn’t come prepared for the trip. I’d picked up a pair of beige slacks that looked almost beachy, and a white short-sleeved button-up. When Alex came out of the bathroom, I chuckled, seeing he was dressed similarly, only with a baby-blue shirt.
“Why you always trying to copy me?” Alex teased.
“I’m pretty sure it’s you who always wants to copy me,” I joked back.
He just shrugged.
We walked down the beach to a seafood restaurant, ate dinner together, and just…were. In some ways, we acted like there was nothing different about tonight, but in others, we both knew there was. We were tiptoeing around each other and around this day that felt heavy with emotion. Not in a bad way, but one I knew would change the course of my life.
After we ate, we took our shoes off and walked down the beach back to our resort. It was dark, and the wind was blowing, making our shirts flutter against us. When I reached over and tangled my fingers with his, Alex held on tight and didn’t let go.
“I love you,” I said softly, without looking at him.
“I love you too.”
“No…I love you, Alex. I’m in love with you. I think I always have been, but I was too scared to let myself acknowledge it…because what if I was wrong? What if I screwed up or couldn’t do the forever thing and lost you? What if we turned into my parents?”
Alex stopped walking, forcing me to do the same. Seconds went by, each one feeling as if it stretched longer and longer, until I was fidgeting, deep fear taking root inside me. He looked down, and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t budge.
“Alex…say something. I’m losing my mind here.”
He looked up at me, finally, his eyes meeting mine. “Tell me again.”
“Oh, I see how you are. I spill my heart to you, and you want me to do it over and over.”
“Yes, please.”
“I’m in love with you.” The words came out much easier the second time, and his smile was so bright, I thought maybe it could light up the world.
“Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to hear you say that to me? How long I’ve dreamed of it? I realized I was in love with you when I was sixteen years old, Caden, but I fell even earlier. I’ve always been in love with you.”
My chest expanded, my whole world growing and filling in ways I didn’t know were possible. I knew it, I had to have known it, but I hadn’t let myself believe it. Maybe because I wasn’t ready for forever, or maybe because I was an idiot. The reason didn’t matter. We were saying it now. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I did.”
“Once, when we were twenty-one. You were drunk and never mentioned it since.”
He looked down again, but didn’t fight me when I cupped his cheek and raised his head until his eyes met mine. “I was afraid. You’re… Jesus, Caden. You’re you. Everyone loves you. How could I ever be lucky enough to call you mine?”
“Don’t you know I feel the same about you?”
“I thought you were straight, though.”
He had me there. “I’m scared. What if—”
“We’re not them. They’re not us. We won’t turn into them. I’ll be the happiest man in the world if I can say you’re mine.”
I grinned. “Damn, you must really love me. And I am. Yours, I mean. I’ve always been yours.”
“You don’t want commitment.”
“That’s only because I’ve never had it with you. Everything is different with you. Alex…you’re my husband. I want you to stay my husband. I want to make you happy.”
I didn’t know who moved first. If it was him or me or both of us together, but suddenly we were kissing. Then we were lying on the ground, making out, sand getting in places sand should never be. When someone whistled and cheered, we started to laugh. Alex was on top of me, his forehead pressed to mine as we breathed each other’s air.
“Let’s go back to the room,” Alex said. “I want you to fuck me.”
“You don’t want to give them a show?” I teased, but really, I was losing my damn mind at the thought of being inside Alex.
“Nope. I don’t want to share you with anyone ever again.”
“I don’t want to share you either.”
He shoved to his feet and held his hand out for me. I let Alex help me up, and then the two of us were running toward the resort. We raced, and the bastard beat me, which I pretended to be upset about. It was so us, and it was perfect.
When we got back to the room, we tumbled into the shower together, kissing and letting the water remove the sand and just savoring each other.
Alex dried me off, then took my hand and walked me to the bed. I’d always been the one to lead things during sex, but I felt comfortable handing the reins to Alex.
He pulled lube and a condom from his bag and set them beside us on the mattress. I was on my back, with my best friend, my husband, leaning over me, our naked bodies fitting together like a puzzle.
“Are you scared?” Alex asked.
“No, I’m horny,” I said, making him chuckle, then added, “It’s you. How can I be scared to do anything when it’s with you?”
“Jesus, Caden.”
“I’m good, huh?” I teased.
Alex leaned down and kissed me again, rutting against me. Our cocks rubbed together, and goddamn, who knew that could be so amazing?
He went easily when I rolled us over, and I deepened the kiss, letting go of everything else but the two of us. The world, coming out, telling my dad, all of it melted away when I looked into his eyes.
“I need to get you ready, right?” I’d never had anal sex before. None of the women I’d been with had been interested in it, but I figured some things were self-explanatory.
“Yeah, you want me to do it?”
“Fuck no. That pleasure will be all mine. But maybe next time, because that would be hot to watch.” I plucked the bottle from the mattress, opened it, and slicked my fingers. “Just tell me if I’m doing something wrong or if something doesn’t feel good. I mean, I know it’s a long shot that would happen, but still.” I grinned, hoping he enjoyed joking around when I was about to put my dick in his ass for the first time.
Would he eventually want to do that with me too? I was pretty sure he would.
“Well, I’m already getting bored, so maybe it’s more likely than you think,” Alex countered. God, I loved him. He was the best.
“Liar. You’ve been in love with me since you were sixteen. There’s no way you’re bored.”
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope. Now be quiet while I concentrate.”
I knelt between Alex’s spread thighs. He was hard, his cock veiny and pulsing. Precome leaked from the slit, dripping down to his belly. His balls were tight and full, ready to let loose…for me. “Christ, you’re beautiful. Everything about you.” I stroked a slick hand up his dick, smiled when he hissed in response.