Grover’s eyes raked over her face, then her hair and down her body. Sierra expected to feel embarrassed or self-conscious, like she had in the cave. She knew she needed to find someone to fix her hair, for sure. Shave it evenly, something. She also knew she still had some bruises on her face and that her body wasn’t anything worth gawking at. She’d lost weight all over, including her chest. But somehow, seeing the longing in Grover’s eyes made her feel almost normal.
“I’m gonna miss you,” he whispered.
“Same,” she said.
“That first time you reached out to me in that cave, after I’d been worked over by Shahzada…I knew,” Grover said.
When he didn’t continue, Sierra asked, “Knew what?”
“That you were it for me.”
She could only stare at him in surprise.
“You’d just been beaten yourself. Had no reason to trust me. Had been held captive for a year. And yet there you were, trying to comfort me. No one, Sierra, has affected me as much as you have from the moment we met. From being disappointed that you didn’t contact me after I left Afghanistan the first time, to being worried when we heard you had gone AWOL, to being distraught when we learned contractors were disappearing, to being fucking scared out of my mind when I got your letter. I’ve never felt as much for anyone as I have you.”
Sierra knew she should be shocked. Should be wondering what the hell was wrong with this man. But she wasn’t. Because she felt the same. “You made me so mad when we first met,” she admitted. “You accused me of being naïve. Looking back now, I know I was naïve. I was so gung-ho to serve my country in any way possible and to make a difference, even if it was just by serving food to the soldiers who put themselves on the line every day, that I didn’t even consider the fact that I could be in danger. It was stupid, really. But I had to think there was a reason I was still alive after a year. Had to believe that someday, someone would stumble across me and help me get out of there. Then…you were there. Admitting that you’d actually gotten taken on purpose. It was crazy. Insane, really. But the second I held your hand…I wasn’t as scared anymore.”
“It’s gonna suck to watch you walk away from me, but I know you’ll be fine. You don’t need me to hold your hand or smother you with my protectiveness. You need to get back on your feet and find yourself again, without me.”
His belief in her was overwhelming.
“I’ll see you in a month,” he said again, as if trying to confirm she’d go to The Refuge.
“You will,” she replied.
The relief in his eyes was instant. He leaned toward her, and Sierra held her breath, waiting for his kiss. But his lips brushed against her forehead, the gesture so gentle, once again her throat closed up. As usual, no tears formed in her eyes.
“I’m proud of you,” Grover said against her skin. “I admire you so much. Don’t let anyone bring you down. If they try, tell them to fuck off. That they should try living in a cave and getting beat on.”
Sierra couldn’t help but chuckle. “I will.”
Grover’s hand came up and ran over her head. She winced as he touched the uneven patches of hair. “This is your badge of honor. Don’t be ashamed of any damn thing you did to survive, Bean. Not one thing. Got it?”
She nodded.
“Okay. I could come up with a million more things to say to prolong this, but you have appointments to get to, and I’m sure the guys are anxious to get back to Texas to see their families,” Grover said.
Sierra nodded but didn’t step away.
“You aren’t helping,” he said.
She smiled up at him.
“Fuck,” he muttered, then leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. They still tingled when he lifted his head. “Come on, it’ll be warmer for you inside, and it’s time for you to eat something.”
Sierra nodded because she couldn’t speak. He was always taking care of her. Seemed to only have her best interests at heart. It was quite the change from the last year, when her captives had to be reminded to feed her and didn’t give a shit about her basic needs.
Grover’s hand was at the small of her back as he led them toward the door. Sierra wanted to stop, wanted to snuggle back into Grover’s embrace, but he was right. They both had lives to return to. And she so badly wanted to find the Sierra she once was.
A month. That wasn’t that long, really. Especially not after she’d survived a year at the hands of Taliban terrorists. She held the phone tighter. And it wasn’t as if she wouldn’t be able to talk to Grover.
A month? Piece of cake.
Chapter Eight
Grover paced his living room.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
He couldn’t sit. Couldn’t eat. His porch didn’t bring him peace. He hadn’t noticed the sunset painting the sky a couple hours ago.
Three days.
That’s how long it had been since he’d talked to Sierra. He’d sent her a text to ask if she got home all right, and had received a short reply, but that was it.
He was going out of his skin wondering how she was doing. He wanted to know how the reunion with her parents went. If she’d been able to sleep. If the press was hounding her. If she’d set up a time to talk to a therapist. If she was eating all right.
There was so much he wanted to know, but he also didn’t want to bother her. Didn’t want to risk bringing back bad memories by trying to get in touch if that wasn’t what she wanted.
“Shit!” Grover swore, running a hand through his hair in agitation.
He and the rest of his team had arrived back in Texas and debriefed. He’d been read the riot act by Commander Robinson, and while Grover had said all the right things, apologizing and swearing he regretted his actions…he didn’t. Not at all.
He’d done exactly what he’d set out to do. Found Sierra. He was also glad they’d discovered Shahzada’s deception and killed the man before he could harm others, but that was just icing on the cake as far as he was concerned.
Sierra had been his goal. His finger itched to call her, but again, he knew he was a reminder of the worst time in her life. Who wouldn’t want to put it all behind them and move on? Even if he knew from experience that it wasn’t that easy.
His ribs hurt as he paced, but Grover ignored the pain. He’d been wounded much worse before. Just when he’d decided to go for a night run—he hadn’t been medically cleared to exercise yet, but he was going stir crazy and needed to do something—his phone rang.
Irritated that one of his team was checking in on him—again—Grover was a bit more brusque than he might’ve been otherwise when he answered without looking at the screen. “What?”
“Um…is Grover there?”
“Sierra?” Grover’s heart nearly stopped beating in his chest. He stopped pacing in the middle of the room and held his breath as he waited for her response.
“Yeah, it’s me. Am I interrupting something?”
“No! Absolutely not. I’m currently pacing the floor, literally, trying to outrun my boredom.”
She chuckled, and the sound made Grover close his eyes as emotion threatened to overwhelm him. It was so good to hear from her. And to hear her laughing? Fucking heaven.