“I spoke to Viessa last night,” I said suddenly, reaching for the packet of seeds again. Collith frowned at the abrupt shift in topic. I ignored it and continued, “I told her that Gwyn had been the one murdering council members, and she won’t be a problem anymore. I provided a ring as proof. Viessa asked me what I would like for a reward.”
Collith evidently decided not to push it. “Very strategic of her,” he said with a small shrug of acknowledgement. “If the bloodlines learn there’s something to be benefited from pleasing their new queen, they’ll rush to tell her whatever juicy tidbits they know.”
He stopped, giving me a chance to respond or go on. But I hesitated—we’d reached the part I hadn’t yet decided if I would tell Collith about. As I thought about it again, my pulse became fast and erratic. There was no way Collith hadn’t noticed, but he still didn’t try to force a conversation.
His patience gave me courage. It was a reminder of Collith’s kindness and what had drawn me to him in the first place. Suddenly I could hear his mother’s voice in my head, her pained whisper full of pleading. Have faith in him. She’d seen the good in her son, too, despite all the mistakes he’d made. Like me, Collith wasn’t evil or claimed by the dark.
We just lived in a world of shadows.
I kept my gaze on my hands while I spoke. “Knowing Viessa, the advantages of benevolence was probably a thought she had, yes. But I don’t think it’s the only reason she offered a reward. When I asked her to pardon you, she pretended to think for a few seconds… and then she agreed, Collith.
“If anyone asks, the official story is that you had something to do with stopping Gwyn, which is how Her Majesty can overlook your act of rebellion in the throne room. Her words, not mine. But I think… Viessa wanted to let you go. When I tried to reverse Lyari’s exile, the queen wasn’t quite so generous. That seemed like something worth knowing. It would hold meaning for me, if someone I’d loved…” I cleared my throat again. “Ultimately, the Guardians will no longer be hunting you, and you don’t have to shack up with Laurie anymore. You’re free.”
Silence met my news. I dared to glance up, and the way Collith was looking at me sent a rush of heat through my veins. That rebellious lock of hair had come loose, and it only added to his allure. I longed to rake it back.
“Thank you, Fortuna,” Collith said simply.
Hating that he still had such an effect on me, I dropped my gaze right back to the bottles. I wiped my forehead with the back of my wrist and hoped I hadn’t left behind a smear of dirt. “Yeah, well, it’s the least I can do, since I’m kind of the reason you lost the throne.”
The casual tone I used eased the thickness between us, but barely. Just enough that I could think straight again. I yanked off the gloves and tossed them next to the bag of soil. Collith pulled away from the chair, his lips curving into a humorless smile. “Perhaps it’s for the best. The Folduins finally getting their chance to rule, that is. I had a lot of time to think in that dungeon, and looking back, I don’t believe I was a very good king. On the contrary, I suspect I was as poor a leader as I was a husband.”
He said this without any trace of self-deprecation. I studied him and found myself wanting to believe what I saw—the remorse, the regret. A line deepened between my brows as I thought of everything we’d been through these past few weeks. Still considering it, I took a damp washcloth out of the sink and started cleaning the counter. After a few seconds, I forced myself to meet Collith’s gaze.
“I don’t think you were a good king,” I told him, matching his neutrality. “But… I don’t think I was a good queen, either.”
It was as close to an apology that he would get. At this point, our story was so tangled and knotted that I wasn’t sure who the strings belonged to or where they were supposed to go. Collith had been in the wrong, more than once, and so had I. All I truly knew for certain was that, in spite of everything, he loved me and I still wanted him. Maybe the healthiest choice would be to cut those strings entirely.
Collith’s eyes were warm now. I watched them scan me, from my exposed legs all the way up to my battered T-shirt that showed bits of skin here and there. My core tightened in response. There was no point hiding my reaction to him, I thought. Goddamn faeries. It felt as if Collith was the moon and I was the tide, always helpless against his pull.
In a burst of rebellion, I threw the washcloth back into the sink and retreated from the counter. I’d put my supplies away later. “I’m going to change and go for a run. So… bye, I guess.”
I didn’t know what else to say. Have a nice day? It was nice to see you? Annoyed by how much he’d flustered me, I turned and hurried into my room. There was a slight shake to my hands as I pulled one of the dresser drawers open. Moments later, Collith filled the doorway, just as I’d known he would. Just as part of me hoped he would.
“Fortuna,” he said. That was it. Nothing else.
Knowing what I was about to do, I leaned forward and rested my forehead against my knuckles. “I hate you,” I whispered brokenly. “I hate you so much.”
Collith closed the door, eliminating the slant of light across the floor and enclosing us in darkness. He approached slowly. Once he was so close that I could feel his body temperature, Collith put his hands on my waist and turned me around. I didn’t fight him. All I could think was, Weak. I’m so weak. He pressed his forehead to mine and said, “I know.”
I made a helpless, frustrated sound. Then I reached up, slid my fingers around the back of Collith’s neck, and pulled his face to mine.
We were too impatient to make our way to the bed, and we wrenched each other’s clothes off right there, breaking apart only to come back together like a fire built anew. I touched every part of him I could reach, ravenous for the feel of his bare skin. Eventually Collith turned me around, his hold loose enough that I could step away whenever I wanted. My palms braced against the door as he pulled my shorts down, the only piece of clothing left between us. My body was tight with anticipation and wet with need. Then Collith was there, poking me with his hardness, finding his way inside.
I let out a gasp at the initial pain—he was so large, so deep—while Collith groaned. Hearing me, he went still. I reached back and found his sculpted backside, urging him onward with the press of my hands. That was all the encouragement he needed. Collith was more gentle this time, moving his hips at a languid pace. Soon the pain faded and my need became more urgent. I began to meet Collith thrust for thrust. He moaned and caught my fingers, holding them against the door. The length of his body crushed mine. His movements came faster and harder. I cried out, but Collith heard pleasure in the sound and didn’t stop.
“Condoms?” he asked through his teeth.
“Don’t have any,” I gasped back. Without warning, Collith yanked himself out. I turned my head to protest, then belatedly realized he was coming. The warmth of him covered the upper curve of my ass and Collith’s groan filled my ears again. Once his cock had gone still, he shifted to grab the towel hanging on the bathroom door. He kissed the back of my neck while he wiped me clean.
Once he was done, I turned around and skimmed my palm down his chest. “That was…”