I digest everything that Lindsay just word vomited all over me. I’ve known for a while Allison was special. Hell, I’ve probably known since I crushed on her back in middle school, but I never wanted to ruin the friendship we had.
“Isn’t it better for me to break things off now than to wait months or years down the road when I really break hearts?” I ask, my mind racing with what-ifs.
“Why focus on things ending? What if you give things a go, and you get fifty or sixty happy years together?”
I just shrug my shoulders in reply. She’s got me on that question. If I’m being totally honest with myself, I can see myself settling down with Allison. Doing the whole marriage and kids thing. But, that part of my brain that loves the bachelor life's freedom throws all the what-if scenarios my way.
“I’m not saying that you need to show up at her house with a ring in your pocket and profess your undying love to her, but showing up with a bouquet of flowers, a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream with an apology, and a promise to give things a try, might get you back in her good graces,” Lindsay tells me.
“Okay,” I tell her, still digesting everything. “I’ve got some soul searching to do,” I say honestly.
“I’d agree with that statement,” Lindsay says.
“I think I’m going to head home, do some thinking. Thanks for taking care of me last night,” I tell Tucker as I stand from the recliner. I grab the few things that are mine and head for my truck, leaving the two of them on the couch to do whatever happy, in-love people do when left alone.
I make it home, heading straight for my bathroom to take another quick shower, this time putting on clean clothes now that I’m home. I slip into some sweats and an old, faded T-shirt from my early years at the firehouse. Once dressed, I kick back on my bed and scroll through my Facebook feed. I stopped to look at some pictures my sister posted last night of her and my brother-in-law. They’re on a “babymoon” vacation in California. Seeing my sister so happy puts a smile on my face. Anyone can see how much she loves her husband, just as one can see how much he loves her back. The jealousy hits me out of left field. The reality that I do want that in my life and not the loneliness I often have when I’m home comes over me.
As much as my house is my sanctuary and a place to just get away from everyone and everything and unplug, it can also be tranquil and lonely.
I pull up Allison’s profile, clicking on the last album she’s uploaded to. I flip through all the images she’s posted in the last few weeks, stopping at one that is of the two of us. It's from not long ago. The night we sat outside Tucker’s place, around the bonfire, talking and laughing for hours. Lindsay or someone else at the party must have snapped it of us, as we’re not looking at the camera, and I don’t remember it being taken. The way we’re looking at each other reminds me of my sister’s pictures. The mutual attraction and chemistry between the two of us almost jumps off the screen. I royally fucked things up; I only hope I can fix it.
16
LEE
Three weeks later
I’m not usually one for elaborate, thought-out plans, but I mulled over how I would redeem myself all day. I know I fucked up, so here’s my Hail Mary pass to see if I can recover the biggest fumble of my life.
I take Lindsay’s suggestions to heart, stopping at the florist and grocery store. I buy the largest bouquet they have available before grabbing a container of ice cream, some toppings to go with it, and a wine bottle for good measure.
I didn’t want Allison to tell me not to bother coming over, so I conveniently never texted or called her to ask if I could stop by. I figured grand gestures are supposed to be a surprise, so here I am, pulling into her driveway about to put it all on the line.
I grab my purchases before hopping out of my truck. As I climb the two steps onto her porch, the door opens as Allison fills the doorway.
“Lee,” she greets me, the hesitation lacing her voice noticeable.
“These are for you,” I say, handing over the flowers. “I also brought some ice cream and wine,” I say a bit awkwardly as I hold up the plastic bags from the grocery store.
“Thanks, you didn’t have to bring me anything,” she says, blowing out a breath. She sets the flowers down on a table just inside her door, then takes the bags from me. “Did you come over just to bring me these things, or did you need something?” There's my sassy woman.
“I-I came to apologize. I know I fucked up a few weeks ago, I said things I regret. I was letting my past dictate my future. In a messed up, roundabout way, I was attempting to protect my heart, only to realize in the process, I was simultaneously breaking yours.” I pause to take a break and to let my words sink in as I wait for any kind of reaction from Allison.
The smallest of smiles tugs at one corner of her lips, and that is all I need to know that things are going to be okay. I don’t care how much of a front she puts on or how much she makes me work for it; I know I’m going to win her back.
“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” she asks.
“What part, exactly?” I ask, allowing my cockiness to come out just a little bit.
“The part that you admit to fucking up, being wrong. Wait, let me get my phone so I can record you saying it.” She cracks an even larger smile, and I know she’s fucking with me now.
I crowd into her space. Cupping her cheek with one of my hands and tilting her face up to mine. “Please tell me I’ve still got a chance. That you’ll forgive me for before. I’m here to beg if I have to. I want you, and only you. For as long as you’ll have me.”
“You’re sure about that? What if I want you forever?”
“Then forever better take its time coming,” I tell her before crashing my lips to hers.
I pick her up, my hands cradling her ass. God, it feels good to have her back in my arms. I know I fucked up, but that’s in the past. She’s here in my arms. I’ll grovel every day for the rest of my life if I have to, in order to make it up to her.
Pinning Allison to the wall, I remove my hands from her ass and rip open the buttons on her blouse. The buttons go flying; I’m not being careful, and I don’t care. It feels like it’s been way too long since I’ve had this woman beneath me. Her sweet pussy squeezing around my cock. “God damn, you’re so fucking beautiful,” I tell her, taking in the swell of her breasts. Thank the Lord in heaven for whoever invented the front-closure bra. I snap it open with one flick and find her already hardened nipples.
“Lee,” she moans my name as I greedily suck one into my mouth. I sink my teeth onto it, biting to leave a mark—my mark—on her skin. She’s mine. I’m hers—forever, by the sounds of it.
“I hope you don’t have any special connection to this thong,” I growl against her skin as my hand makes it up and under her skirt. I wrap my fingers around the fabric and rip it clear off her body.
“Nope,” she gasps. I bring my mouth to hers, greedily sucking at her tongue as I fumble with my jeans. I finally free the button and lower my zipper far enough to push them and my boxers down my hips enough to release my cock. I align my tip with her entrance. I break our kiss, pulling back far enough to look Allison in the eyes.