I nod, practically sitting on my hands to avoid touching him. He’s only wearing boxers, which isn’t unusual, but now I know what’s under them, and fuck, does that turn me on.
“It’s just for fun,” Bowen says. “You can explore, and it’s safe.”
I nod, searching his eyes. He’s right. If I can’t feel my way through this with Bow, who can I?
“Right. It’s just fun. I guess you can explore too. Safely.”
“Yeah. So, um, you’re cool if I invite him over again. Soon?”
“Totally cool with it.”
Bowen smiles softly, then leans over and punches me in the arm. “No matter what, we’re still friends. Got it? You’re never getting away from me.”
I punch him back. “Deal.”
“Want to order breakfast and binge Netflix?”
“I sure do.”
Bowen climbs off my bed and opens his arms. “Hug it out.”
I laugh, standing and stepping into his arms. We decided long ago that anything major happening between us would end in a hug-it-out moment. Me being the slightly taller of us, I always envelop my friend, and this time, when his chest presses against mine, I tighten my embrace, sinking into his warmth.
His hands are always planted on my shoulder blades, but today, they roam across my back. Our bodies usually maintain space, but right now, you couldn’t squeeze a pencil between us. My dick is aching now, precum dripping from the tip and making my boxers sticky. Our dicks bump together, and my breath catches. I try to step back, but Bowen holds on to me, his face buried in the crook of my neck.
An urge to feel his kiss hits me hard. I want to reach in his boxers and hold his cock again. I want to watch him swallow mine. I want…so fucking much.
Bowen snaps me out of my lust haze as he steps back. My eyes shoot to his boxers, noticing the obvious tenting. When I meet his gaze again, he smiles. He knows what I’m feeling right now.
“Pancakes or waffles?”
“What?”
Bowen laughs. “Your breakfast order. Pancakes or waffles?”
“Pancakes.”
“Coming right up.” As he’s walking out, he turns back toward me as if he’s going to say something. Instead, he just winks and leaves.
That did not play out at all like I thought it would. And I gotta say, I don’t hate it. I know what I have to do now. Shove down any thoughts about what it means and what I want and just go with it. Even though that approach almost led to marrying a woman I’m not in love with, it usually works out for me.
Being with Bowen didn’t feel as weird as it should have, but Aldis is a whole different issue. What’s the expectation there? Ugh. Feelings. Nope. Not feeling them. Not getting in my head. Going with it. At this point, that’s all I got.
* * *
BOWEN
Sitting on the couch, I pull up the food delivery app and order breakfast for us. I glance at Hawthorne’s door, then turn away. I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked in there this morning, but it wasn’t what I got.
I supposed I was worried he was freaking out. Instead, he admitted to wanting to do more. I have literally imagined this exact scenario a thousand times in my mind, and last night it came true. The memory of Aldis gently encouraging us, of Thorne’s thick cock on my tongue, his hand jerking me to the end. Then Aldis. Damn, that man. He’s sexy, commanding. Everything that checks my boxes. He’s just not Hawthorne. What if I have to choose at some point? Potential love of my life or the man I’ve loved as long as I can remember?
It feels greedy to want them both. Is that even possible? That’s assuming Hawthorne isn’t just going through some post-breakup angst and returns to the dark side someday. It’s likely he’s just exercising some curiosity and it won’t last, but what if it does? What if it could? What if somehow I could have both?
Is that crazy?
“Is what crazy?”
I look up, realizing I was thinking aloud. “Uh, nothing. Food is on its way.”
“Coffee made?”
“Nope. I came straight to you.”
Hawthorne lingers there, studying my face before smiling and heading to the kitchen. I’m hit with another visual of his dripping cock, the look on his face when I put my mouth on him, the taste of his cum.
My cock jerks, causing me to adjust myself. I just got it to go down from that unexpectedly sexy hug in Thorne’s bedroom. Fortunately, when he returns with two mugs of coffee, I’ve had enough time to calm down.
“What are we watching today?” he asks.
“You get to pick. I don’t care.”
“Why is that, Bow?”
“What?”
“Why do you endure movies you don’t like just to watch with me?”
“That’s a stupid question, Thorne.” I sip my coffee, watching him process the meaning of my words.
He nods, offering me a smile. “Thank you.”
“Quit being weird. Pick a movie.”
Hawthorne grins. “I like being weird.”
“Obviously.”
“You obviously like it.”
More than I can even say. “You’re okay. I guess.”
We both laugh and settle into our usual roles of best friends hanging out. Clothed. Dammit.
The next day, my phone rings in my pocket while I wait for Hawthorne to pump the gas. It’s Aldis, which sends shivers through me just seeing his name.
“Hey, Aldis.”
“Hey.” His deep, sexy voice vibrates like a bass. “Busy?”
“No. We’re on our way home from work. What are you doing?”
“Thinking about you. Hoping everything’s cool?”
“Damn. I should have let you know yesterday.”
“You don’t have to. You’re just on my mind.”
“Aldis…”
“Are you dumping me?”
“No. Not at all.”
I hear his deep exhale. “Okay. Cool.”
“I want you to come over one day this week. Have dinner with us.”
“I’d love to. So things are okay?”
“Definitely. Let’s just say he’s open to whatever happens next.”
“Really? Me included?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Wow.”
“I know. It’s exciting. Are you…?” I look up at Thorne walking back from paying. “I’ll call you when I’m alone.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
Hawthorne slides in the driver’s seat, giving me major side-eye. “What’s got you smiling like an idiot?”
“That was Aldis. He was worried about us.”
Hawthorne nods, starting the truck up. We ride home in silence. I’m dying to ask Hawthorne what he’s thinking, but I resist. He’ll tell me when he wants to.
Once we’re home, we part ways to shower. Before getting in, I sit on the edge of my bed and call Aldis back.
“Hey,” he answers.
“Hi. I’m home now.” I drag my hand through my hair. “I’ve never been in a situation like this.”
“With more than one person?”
“Right.”