“Sounds good,” Bowen says. He stands, pulling on his shorts but backing into me when his eyes shoot out across the canyon. “Fuck.”
“We got you, Bow.” I brush my lips over his neck, so tempted to kiss. “Just trust us.”
“I do. Thank you.”
“I’ll get him down,” Aldis says. “Your back must be feeling the pull-up.”
“Yeah, a little. Thanks, man.”
“We’re a team.”
His words bounce around my head all the way down and back to camp. We’re a team. Maybe this doesn’t have to end. Fuck, I hope so.
* * *
ALDIS
I wasn’t planning to do this on this trip, but after witnessing the interaction from our climb, I feel like the only right thing to do is address the obvious elephant in the room. These two are apparently going to keep dancing around it.
After lunch of peanut butter sandwiches and plenty of water, we sit under a tree in the shade, simply relaxing. Bowen is between us like he always is and—if I have anything to do with it—always will be.
I open my mouth to speak words I haven’t quite formed, but Bowen speaks first.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Both Hawthorne and I sit up straight, panicked.
“What?” I ask. “Bow?”
“That came out wrong.” He sits up, balancing his arms on his bent knees. “What I meant was, I can’t take the ambiguity. I need to know what we’re doing here.”
Hawthorne’s look of panic doesn’t subside at all.
“I listened to a polyamory podcast yesterday while you guys climbed,” Bowen admits. “They had all these examples of people making it work. It was the first time I realized that maybe that’s what this is? Maybe it’s not just fucking around?”
The hopeful tone in his questions squeezes my chest. Hawthorne doesn’t look like he plans on speaking at any point, so I step in.
“It’s not just fucking around for me. It never has been.”
Bowen and I look at Hawthorne, but he’s still just looking at us like we’re ghosts.
“Thorne?” Bowen asks. “What are you thinking?”
“Um, you want to date both of us?”
Bowen shakes his head. “It’s not that simple. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Maybe I can help,” I offer, rubbing my hands together. “I’ve often wondered if I had polyamorous tendencies. I’ve always been able to develop feelings and deep connections for more than one person at a time. For a long time, I thought I was just a player. Then I thought I was broken. I even decided maybe I just hadn’t met my soul mate even though I wasn’t sure I believed that was a role filled by only one person.”
Bowen rubs my leg as Hawthorne looks on.
“Then I met you, Bowen. It didn’t take long for you to get under my skin. I could see the way you looked at Hawthorne and the way he looked at you, and all I wanted was to help you have something I knew you wanted.” I smile. “Even if it meant I would lose you to him.”
“Aldis…”
“But then something shifted. I felt drawn to Hawthorne. I wanted to know him more. I wanted to touch him and make him feel good. I wanted to give him everything he wanted.”
Hawthorne holds my gaze, his chest heavy with breath.
“The more time we hang out,” I continue, “the more sure I am that what I’ve always been waiting for is this. The three of us. I want this to continue and see where it goes. I think we can do it.”
“You…you want to date me too?” Hawthorne asks.
“I want all three of us to date each other. I think we can talk about what that looks like, but for now, it would be good just to see if we’re all on the same page.”
“I am,” Bowen says, reaching for both our hands. “I want to keep this. Bad. Thorne? This must be so much for you to process. You’ve never been with a man, and now you’re potentially with two. Maybe you can’t commit yet. Or maybe you still want to date women. Just tell us what you want.”
Hawthorne glances down at his hand entwined with Bowen’s, then reaches for mine. I scoot closer, giving it to him.
“I, um, yeah.” He laughs. “This is a lot, but not in the way you might think. Weirdly”—he directs his gaze to Bowen—“it kind of feels like you and I were bound to happen at some point. It feels normal and good.”
“And me?”
His eyes shift to me, and he smiles. “You’re like the storm we needed to blow in and wash away the dumb shit keeping us apart. I like you, Aldis. A lot. I’ve never pictured myself with two people at the same time, but there’s no way I could walk away from this. I want it too.”
Bowen visibly relaxes as his shoulders drop and a tentative smile pulls at his lips. “So, um, we’re a throuple now?”
I chuckle. “Works for me.” I lean in and kiss Bowen’s cheek, then rise up enough to kiss Hawthorne’s. “What do you guys say we enjoy the rest of our time here and figure out the logistics on Monday?”
Bowen and Hawthorne exchange glances before agreeing. My stomach settles and hope blooms in my chest as we help Bowen get his fishing gear out. We’re on the verge of something really amazing. All we have to do now is hold on to it.
Chapter Fourteen
Aldis
I drop all of my heavy bags on the floor right in the entryway of my apartment, stepping over them and leaving them to be dealt with later. First, I need a real fucking shower and an entire pizza all to myself.
My stomach rumbles at the thought, so I pull out my phone to place an order before making a beeline straight for my bathroom, the idea of a nice steamy shower nearly orgasmic after three days getting covered in dirt, sweat, and cum with no way to get clean other than a dip in the frigid lake.
I crank the water temp up as high as it will go and strip out of my clothes while I’m waiting for it to heat up. It’s not until I step under the scorching hot spray, all of the tension instantly leaving my body, that I realize how quiet everything is.
I always feel a weird disconnect coming home after a few days out in nature like I’m an outdoor cat who has to remember not to piss on the furniture. But this feels different. I stick my face under the hot water, scrubbing away the last few days while echoes of Hawthorne’s laughter along with memories of both their smiles, ghosts of their moans and touches, and the warmth of their company float through my mind.
Fuck. I just left them, and I miss them.
A hoarse laugh rumbles from my throat. I’m falling for Bowen and Hawthorne fast and hard, startlingly so, and I’m not sure I can slow myself down. I don’t think I want to.
I finish my shower and dry myself off. I don’t bother to get dressed, just wrapping a towel around my waist and going to collect my pizza from outside my door.
I flop on my couch, letting the towel fall away. I don’t bother with anything fancy like plates or napkins, opening the box and snagging a slice. I’m so hungry I down it in a few giant bites, slowing once the gnawing feeling in my stomach subsides. I flip on the TV while I eat, putting on The Golden Girls more for background noise than anything.