Maybe Sawyer has a record of them, but I don’t want to raise it right now. Not when things are good with us.
Tonight, on the way home from the studio after dance class, I call my mom.
“Hello?” Her voice comes through on the hands-free from my car a few blocks from campus.
“Hi, it’s me. I wanted to check on some mail from school. Has my tuition bill for next semester arrived?”
“No, but your father’s business assets are frozen.”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel and I try to focus on the road. “What does that mean?”
“There’s a full investigation into all of his spending, and we can’t pay for anything new.”
The streets pass in a blur as I navigate the final few corners and turn into the lot for my residence building.
I throw the car in park and stare out the windshield, my mind spinning. “He screwed up, didn’t he?”
“We don’t know that.”
“Then someone else did. Why would they be investigating?”
“If they contact you, don’t admit to anything,” she hisses.
“Why would they contact me?” I struggle to keep up. “Wait. You said no new expenses, but there’s still money for tuition next semester, right?”
“What about your family? Typical you’d think about yourself.”
She clicks off and I stare out the windshield. What if the worst happens and we’re left with nothing?
You had fifty thousand dollars, and you gave it away.
I head up to my room, legs heavy and face numb. Then I drop onto my bed, balling up a pillow and screaming into it.
Normally, I’d keep my frustrations about family to myself. But lately, I’ve turned to Sawyer.
He’s been oddly respectful of our agreement to keep things physical. Enough that I have to remind myself once or twice that this time will be different. This time, I refuse to lose my heart.
Going to him is not the same as feelings. It’s just…openness. He listens in a way that’s strangely nonjudgmental.
I reach for my phone.
Liv: You around?
I chew my lip until dots appear.
Repentant Asshole: I finished the porch.
There’s a picture of it, and it looks great. More than that, it’s the first he’s mentioned something other than our relationship or the fish since we got back to our arrangement.
Liv: Way to go, handyman. You were going to show me your tools.
Repentant Asshole: I had no idea you were so insatiable ;)
The next picture is of him, his zipper half undone and I can see the outline of his cock through the fabric.
Repentant Asshole: Going to shower. Talk soon.
He’s the whole package—smart, gorgeous, competent. I want what’s under his skin, not just what’s under his clothes.
I know we can’t, but that only makes me want it more.
SAWYER
“Dayum. It’s finished,” Daniel calls when he comes to my house early in the morning for our run. “You did a good job, too. You work hard enough, you could be a contractor someday. Maybe even an engineer.”
I shove him and he dances out of reach with a grin.
“I’m more than an engineer. I’m a fucking cofounder of a company.”
“Because you’re in such a hurry to get out of here.” He looks around. “This place isn’t so bad, Sawyer. Must be something you like here.”
I think of Liv. “Only one thing.”
Since I ambushed her at the dance studio with an apology, we’ve negotiated a new deal. We’re exclusive…which means her under me and only me.
Every time, it blows my mind. She blows my mind.
We’re back to regular texting—flirting, teasing, and talking about her new Stars project ideas.
I want more.
Olivia can’t stop me from caring about her, but we agreed to keep the feelings in check.
More like she decided to keep her feelings in check.
I’ve never gotten so attached to a woman before, never much cared what we called it. But where it used to feel wrong to be with her, now, it feels wrong to get into bed alone.
“You’ll learn to appreciate simple life after you have kids.” Daniel’s words bring me back. “Dropped Andy at daycare, he’s singing my ear off. He’s into music.”
“Sounds like one of many reasons not to have them.”
We hit the pavement, the thud of our footfalls and the slow burning in my lungs familiar. “My dad had a collection of knickknacks, including a couple of drums. You wanna take a look? Maybe Andy wants some.”
“The ‘my ears are already bleeding’ part of me says no. But the ‘good dad’ part of me says yes.”
We do a loop through campus and back, enough to make me feel alive.
When we return, he follows me inside and takes a look. “You don’t want to keep any of this for yourself?”
“Nah. I don’t need memories of him.”
But my gaze runs around the room, landing on a telescope in the corner.
The store was full of pieces and gadgets, each one fascinating my young eyes.
“You earn the right to explore out there by understanding what’s on Earth.”
“But what if learning about what’s out there can teach us about Earth?” I countered with an eleven-year-old’s logic.
He stared me down, a hint of admiration in his stern face, but he wouldn’t bite. So I built one myself with mirrors and parts from around the house.
The magnification was limited. When he saw how hard I worked, he got me the real thing.
It was the only time I can remember him getting me something I wanted.
Daniel takes a few things and after, I shower and dress for the day and feed the fish.
I hit a contact.
“Hey,” I say when Olivia picks up the video call. I’m rewarded by her pretty face, hair slicked back like she’s recently gotten out of the shower. “Check this out.”
I flip the phone around to show her the fish. “He’s almost back to normal.”
“Hell yes! Behold, the fish whisperer!” Her muffled applause and catcalls make me snort.
“I’m a fish mercenary,” I correct as I head out the door to the porch I’m actually pretty damned proud of. “I expect a reward.”
“After I figure out how to sell my car.”
“What? Why?” I pull up halfway down the walk.
“My dad’s company is going down. I need to make tuition.”
“But you have the money from my dad.”
She hesitates and my grip on the phone tightens.
“You spent it already. On what?”
“School stuff.” Her voice is distant, almost avoiding.
“Clothes? Rent?”
“I don’t want to get into it.”
She’s younger, but this is a new reminder.
I try to rein in my temper as I take the steps down. She’s not only my student, she’s the woman I can’t stop thinking about. One who’s given me more than money can buy—her body, her trust, a fresh start.