I care about her, and I hate watching her struggle.
“I’ll give you the money.”
“No.”
“Why not?” I demand, shifting into the Mercedes.
“Because I’m sleeping with you.”
“What’re you gonna do? Dance at Velvet for everyone in this damned town?”
“I’ll get a loan.”
“Or you could take the money from me.”
“When was the last time you lent some woman you were sleeping with twenty grand?”
I lean back against the head rest, sighing. “It’s not a loan. It’s a gift. And you’re not some random woman. We’re exclusive.”
“Just because I have complete unfettered access to your dick…”
The laugh catches me off guard. “Unfettered? Nice.”
“…doesn’t mean you give me thousands of dollars.”
It’s a reminder that I’m not supposed to care about her.
When the fuck did I start following anyone’s rules but my own? When did I ever try so hard?
Since she made us conditional on keeping feelings out of it.
She gets under my skin, and every time I see her, I get closer to losing my whole damn heart.
“Well, if you could take care of yourself, it wouldn’t be a problem. But you can’t.” The words are out before I can stop them.
The endless seconds of silence are confirmation something has gone horribly wrong.
“I have to go.”
“Come on. Olivia. I didn’t mean—”
She hangs up and I rub a hand over my face.
Don’t need a damned PhD to know I’m going to regret that.
14
Olivia
“Nice bra.” Kat nods to my shoulder and I glance down to see the inch of black lace strap exposed by my wide-necked shirt. “How long have you guys been back on?”
“A few days.” I ignore the salad on my plate and the bustling lunch traffic of the University Center, lowering my voice. “It’s not a relationship. I mean, it is, but it’s only sex.”
They exchange a look and Kat reaches for her glasses. “So what’s the problem? Besides the fact he might as well be your vampire lover because you can’t ever be together in the light of day.”
Yesterday on the phone, he tried to help me—but he also implied I couldn’t take care of myself.
“I don’t want him to think of me like a student.”
“But you are a student. And he likes you the way you are.”
“Well, maybe I don’t like me the way I am.”
“Which is?”
Helpless.
I took Lancaster’s money, and I don’t regret it. But now Sawyer’s offering me his, and it feels terrible.
My phone buzzes with a text. A picture of the black ghost knife fish comes through.
Repentant Asshole: Captain Jack is hungry.
Liv: You named him? How do you know it’s a male?
Repentant Asshole: Apparently the only definitive way to tell is during breeding, but there’s a general consensus that females’ eyes are closer to the front while males’ are more on the sides.
Of course he looked it up. The image of him doing serious fish research pops into my head and tugs on my heart without permission.
I type back.
Liv: Right. And why is he hungry?
Repentant Asshole: Because the asshole who usually feeds him has been distracted all day thinking about a woman who’s angry with him.
Liv: I’m not angry. It sounded as if you think I’m a kid who can’t take care of herself.
And that sucks way more than not having enough money to pay for school, I think but don’t say.
Dots appear for a minute, then two.
Repentant Asshole: I know you can take care of yourself, but I wanted to look out for you. For most of my life, I didn’t have control over my circumstances. So when I can do something for someone who deserves it, I will.
Repentant Asshole: Plus I don’t like seeing you hurt. It fucks me up.
Repentant Asshole: Are we still on for tonight?
My chest squeezes. Dammit. For a man who’s good at getting into trouble, he’s remarkably good at getting out of it too.
“What are you going to do, hold him down and insist you’re a grown-ass woman until he agrees with you?”
Kat’s words drag my attention back.
I adjust my shirt, tucking the bra strap away, and an idea takes shape in my brain.
“That’s not the worst plan.”
I head to Velvet with a bag full of gear.
The security guy out front is the same one who worked the night I came with the girls and met Sawyer for the first time.
His nod is full of recognition, and his gaze drops to my legs. “You gonna pull another move for me to let you in here?”
I grin. “Nope. Teresa said you have to let me in.”
Inside, the place is empty, the sleek tables and couches around the perimeter, the glossy stage and pole. My stomach flips.
“When he gets here,” I tell the guy, “have him sit here.”
I head to the bar where a woman is stocking for the night. “Hey. Do you think you’ll be done with that soon? I can help if you like.”
“You really want this place to yourself, huh?” She pulls out a spray bottle of Lysol. “Just wipe down whatever you use when you’re done.”
It’s probably a joke, but as I go backstage to get ready, I’m still not sure.
I take my time doing my hair and makeup, then pull on the costume I put together.
He’s here.
I know the second before I hear him and the security guy talking on the other side of the stage.
“I don’t want to sit. Where is she?”
I wait five seconds.
Ten.
There’s no more arguing outside. I peer through the curtains, relieved the bar is vacant now.
When I texted earlier to tell Sawyer there was a change of plans and to meet me at Velvet instead of a hotel, he wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t answer, just told him to be here.
Sure enough, there’s a man sitting in a lone chair in front of the stage.
Adrenaline shoots through me.
When I locked eyes with Sawyer at Velvet that first time, it was so sexy.
I can only imagine how it’ll feel tonight.
No audience.
No interruption.
No threat of discovery.
Just him and me and the way we talk best.
And I need to show him I’m not some girl who can’t stand on her own two feet.
I start the music, a low throbbing beat.
When I step out onto the stage covered in shadows from the spotlights, the tables are empty—the place is mine—and I’m wearing a short dress with very little beneath it.
Sawyer’s eyes are on me. “What are you doing?”
I’m supposed to be the one on display, but he’s so beautiful it steals my breath. His rugged jaw flexing, dark hair spilling to his shoulders, intensity pouring off him.