Asher is resting after taking the night shift. Connor, Jax, and Hudson are on one side of the stage, and Ben, Elijah and I are on the other. I glance at Ben and catch him biting the skin off the side of his thumb. I know his stress-tells well. Finger-biting tells me he has something on his mind.
"What's going on?" I ask him. "You're going to end up with only four digits on that hand if you keep that up."
"Nothing," he says abruptly without looking at me, but he drops his hand into a semi-flexed fist by his side.
I snort, not believing him for a second. "You can pretend all you like, but I know you, Ben. You have something marinating under all that black hair."
"The only thing marinating under that hair is Ben's crush on Luna." Elijah punches Ben on the shoulder good-naturedly. "I've been watching you all day, staring at her like you've got x-ray vision. And I've seen her blushing too. What the hell is going on between you guys?"
"Nothing," Ben hisses. "As if I'd do something so reckless. I thought you'd know me better than that."
"Jax is reckless," I say. "Asher is led by his heart. Elijah can't decide between left and right."
"And me?" Ben asks.
"You procrastinate behind every decision. Definitely not reckless."
"So why has he bitten his thumb to the point that it's raw?" Elijah probes.
In front of us, Luna's singing reaches its highest, the speakers distorting until they're adjusted to cope with the power of her voice.
"He knows something," I say. "Something he wishes that he didn't. He was like this in Iraq when Jax raided Connor's chocolate stash. He can't take sitting on other people's secrets. He's like a hen sitting on a molten egg."
Ben snorts as though I'm talking garbage, but it's not convincing. I know my friends sometimes wonder if I'm aware of what's going on around me. They think the fact that English is my second language means that I miss the subtleness that bubbles under the surface. They worry that my memories cloud my concentration, but they keep me around anyway because we have ties that bind us. What they don't realize is that I see everything. I notice, and I process. It's why I don't talk as much as the rest. While they are laughing and joking, I'm building a picture of everything they're aware that they're saying and everything that they're not aware of too.
I used to be a translator for the U.S. military. I've seen the way people say one thing but mean another. I've seen how the choice of one word can change a discussion but also how body language that doesn't match can upset everything.
I know people, and right now, Ben is hiding something.
Ben shifts, shoving his hands into his pockets. The strain of sitting on that hot rock of a secret is getting too much for him.
"You know you can tell us, and we won't tell another soul. We keep our promises and our secrets," I say.
He nods, still staring at where Luna is shaking out her hands and stretching, getting ready to run through one song with the accompanying dance moves.
"Tell anyone, and I'll club you to death with my leg while you're sleeping." He sighs long and low, glancing at each of us to witness our nods of agreement. "Asher fucked Luna last night."
"What the fuck?" Elijah has turned to stare at Ben with his mouth flopped open like a landed fish.
"Eyes on the primary," I say. "Or Connor will get his panties in a twist."
"He'll get his panties in a twist even more if he finds out about that."
"Well, he's not going to, is he? Because we keep our promises and our secrets." Ben stares at us both with determination.
"How do you know?" I ask
"I walked in on them. There's no doubt."
"Fuck." Elijah stares into the cavernous space around us, shaking his head. "Lucky bastard."
"Yeah," Ben says.
I chuckle darkly, noticing that Connor is staring at us from across the stage. That guy has instincts like a panther. "Is there a man in this crew who isn't fawning over the pop star?"
"I don't know, Mo. Is there?" Ben's jaw ticks, a little tell of jealousy that he can't keep hidden.
"You know I love a woman with long dark hair," I say. "It reminds me of home."
Elijah raises his eyebrows. "Jax has it bad. And Hudson and Connor."
"So, the answer is no, then."
"But there's a big difference between imagining your cock somewhere and actually putting it in that place," I say. "If we had to face the consequences for our thoughts, we'd all be in hell."
"Asher looked like he was in heaven," Ben says, clearing his throat.
"Lucky fucker," Elijah says. "But Asher's going to get serious shit from Connor. He might even send him home."
"He can't do that. We need seven of us to fulfill the contract."
"Connor has other contacts he could bring in if needed." Elijah holds his hands out and shakes his head.
"It wouldn't be the same," I say. "Separation isn't an option."
"So, keep your mouths shut," Ben says. "I'll talk to him when we get back. Make sure that nothing happens again. If it's in the past, it won't affect the future."
"If only that were the case with everything in life." I know for a fact that the past shapes the future like a child molding a ball of dough.
Luna flicks her dark hair over her shoulder, and my eyes follow her every move. She's a beautiful woman. As mysterious as the moon she's named for and as bright as the stars that surround it. Beautiful enough for me to think past the urges of my cock to something more serious. Could she learn to cook like my mother or be as kind as my sisters? Is she as bright as my cousin, who learned to teach instead of getting married? All my traditional thoughts make me feel ridiculous because I know the men around me aren't thinking of Luna as wife material. They're thinking like animals searching for physical satisfaction.
At least, I think they are.
"Talk to him. Find out what his plan is. That's if he has one outside of getting his dick wet." Elijah pulls a bottle of water from his pocket and takes a long swig.
"Here she comes," I say, as Luna bounds over, avoiding Ben by traveling the extra steps to go around us to the table. She drinks the whole bottle of water in a few noisy, thirsty glugs.
"We're done for now," she says. "Time to get ready."
Connor and Jax have already gone ahead to check Luna's dressing room. I'll be standing to protect the room tonight when there are more people in the stadium.
Connor radios to give the all-clear, and then we escort Luna so she can shower and change out of her casual clothes and into the explicit costume she's going to be wearing for her first three songs tonight.
Angelica is waiting, hustling the hairstylist into the room, so he's ready and waiting for Luna. While she's showering, we take some time to sit and rest, eating delicious Greek-style pastries filled with feta cheese and spinach, and mini crescent-shaped breads stuffed with olives. Although they're not quite the same, they still make me think of home. Connor paces, clutching the phone so tightly his knuckles are white. He's trying to get a handle on the stadium security and who is doing what. I cock my head and raise my eyebrows, code for “Do you need some help,” but he shakes his head. Always so independent, he doesn't realize that he could make his life a lot easier by spreading the load a little.