"Fuck," Connor says, lowering his lids and shaking his head. The way his shoulders slump speaks of great disappointment, but I'm not having that.
"Fuck, nothing," I say. "Orgasms should never be something that we regret. Put yourself in Asher's shoes. If I dragged you into my room and made you sketch me wearing next to nothing, wouldn't you be tempted to cross the line? If I took your hand and pressed it against my breast, would you have the restraint to resist? If no one was looking, wouldn't it cross your mind to just go for it? Be honest."
As I gaze around at the six men in front of me, I swear I can see arousal painted across all their expressions. There's a power in this feeling. Power in owning my sexuality and my needs. Power in being unapologetic about indulging them.
"We all would have been tempted," Jax says. "Hell, I couldn't say if I could have resisted you if you did all that to me."
"You've been thinking about it, haven't you?" I take a few steps closer until I'm just a couple of inches from his body, gazing up into his soft brown eyes. "You've been thinking about what it would be like to make a move on me. What it would be like to taste me." I let my hand trail his lapel, watching as his lids lower with arousal.
"And you…" Turning to Elijah, I raise my hand to his face. "I've seen you watching me. I've seen the sex in your eyes." His cheek is rough with stubble as I stroke it with my fingers.
"And you…" Hudson doesn't move when I slide my fingers into his palm. "When you were reading to me about Berlin, and I rested my feet against your thigh, you imagined what it would be like to run your hand up my leg."
Gazing into Ben's gunmetal gray eyes, I see the worry there that he's messed everything up for his friend. "And you touched yourself when you got back into bed last night, didn't you?" Ben shifts uncomfortably, and the truth of my words is obvious to everyone who's watching.
"And Mo. You might hide behind your serious facade, but it's there in your eyes and the way they linger on my curves. It's there in the way you touched my hand earlier." The small smile he gives me in response just confirms what I knew.
"And you, Connor?" Reaching up, I take hold of the long part of his tie, adjusting it to make it straight and proud. "I've seen the look in your pretty green eyes. I've seen it all. You can rail on Asher, but any one of you could have been him last night."
As the words leave my lips, I realize that I've given away a lot in that statement. It's as much about them putting themselves into Asher's shoes as it is about my feeling toward all of them. If I was anyone else, I'd be worried that there are seven men in my life that I like enough to invite into my bed. But knowing that my brother lives in the very same setup means this doesn't feel taboo or wrong to me. It's just another way of living. Something that consenting adults can do and should be able to do without judgment.
"I would have resisted, Luna," Connor says softly. "I would have because I understand the risks.”
"You really think that in the heat of the moment, when it's dark, and there's no one around, and you're horny, and I'm there, willing and waiting, that you would have put business first?"
"It's not just about business," he says, his voice tight as though he's holding pain behind a veneer of normality. "It's about your safety."
"My safety? You think that you can't keep me safe and fuck me at the same time?"
"My mind would be compromised," he admits.
"Don't you think it would make you more protective? Heighten your instincts? If you loved me, wouldn't you go further to preserve my safety?"
"It doesn't work that way." His tone is flat and final, but I won't accept it. I might be a belligerent bitch, but that comes from growing up with two determined brothers and living in situations where I had to fight my corner or suffer the consequences.
"So if I did this…" Pulling down the strap of my top, I expose the top of my breast and just a centimeter of my nipple. Connor's eyes drift down and then close as he sees what I've done. Around the room, there's an audible inhale of shocked breath from the other men. "And this…" I take Connor's hand firmly, resisting when he tries to pull it away, pressing it against my soft flesh. "And this…" I rise on my toes and take his bottom lip between mine, sucking gently.
A groan leaves his throat as he pulls back. "Don't," he says, but it doesn't sound firm. There's no backbone to his statement. He's just saying what he thinks he needs to say.
"I rest my case."
Turning, I stride back to the bathroom, my heart pounding in my chest like the feet of a stampeding rhino. Connor can say whatever he wants about Asher, but now he'll have no conviction because he knows he would never have said no, in the dark, with temptation urging him forward. None of them would.
And the truth is that I wouldn't have said no to any of my bodyguards, even if they came to my bed all at once.
14
CONNOR
What can I say after Luna’s rant and display? What can I say to my crew with conviction when I have none? Luna’s right. If it had been me in Asher’s place, I would have buried myself inside her and pushed all of my hesitations aside. I’d have done exactly what he did and would have had to deal with the guilt and the consequences the next day.
My eyes meet Ben’s, and he shrugs. “I’m not a snitch, Con,” he says. “It wasn’t up to me to tell tales on Asher.”
“All of this is unacceptable,” I say. “What the fuck did we learn in Iraq? A team is only as strong as its weakest link. If we’re doing things behind each other’s backs and keeping secrets, this whole thing is going to go to absolute shit.”
“I agree,” Mo says. “But Luna was right. If it had been me who she’d set her sights on, I’d have caved too.”
“And me,” Jax and Hudson say in unison.
I guess it looks like this whole team has a crush on our client.
Not good.
But there is no point in dwelling on the past. There is no way of changing what is already done. All we can do is change what we do going forward. “Tonight, we need to have a serious conversation, Asher included.”
“Okay, boss.” Jax throws me a crisp salute, and the rest of the crew nod, which is reassuring. As long as we get back on the straight and narrow and keep our minds on the job, everything will be fine.
Luna doesn’t take long in the shower, emerging smelling sweet with a freshly scrubbed face and wet hair twisted into a tight bun at her nape. She cocks an eyebrow at us as though she’s daring another confrontation, but I’m not going there. She’s on a mission to prove that we’re all weak enough to give in to temptation. Pushing harder in that direction isn’t going to prove anything good.
“Ready to go?” I ask.
“Sure,” she says. “Let’s get out of here.”
Back at the hotel, Luna disappears into her room, and we all troop off to find Asher. He’s resting on his bed reading a crime novel, but looks up when we all appear.