Charlotte’s first thought was pain and fury for Jane, who’d started to trust her grandpa after a life filled with hard-earned mistrust of her family. If the man had been standing here, Charlotte could have killed him with her bare hands. Her second thought gave her an icy shiver. “Jane. Tell me you didn’t defy HIPAA—”
Jane’s face closed off and Charlotte’s heart took another hard kick. “Jane . . .” She broke off when her phone beeped. Work. She was needed in the OR stat.
“Go,” Jane said. “I’m fine.”
No, she wasn’t, but Charlotte had no choice. “I’ll call you soon as I can.”
Jane turned away and nodded, and Charlotte had to walk away. One of the hardest things she’d ever done.
JANE MOVED ROBOTICALLY through the rest of her shift. The second it was over, she went straight to her car and started driving. Charlotte had been right. She needed to talk this out with her grandpa. Without jumping to conclusions. It made perfect sense. It was the logical thing to do.
But here was the thing. She didn’t feel logical. Which undoubtedly was the reason that when she parked, she found herself at Levi’s house.
Probably because her heart knew what her brain had accepted: that in that moment, she needed Levi. She could feel the vibration of panic and anxiety just beneath her skin. She was scared and angry, and on the verge of losing it as she got out of her car.
Levi opened the door before she got to it. “You’re off early—” he started, but then his smile faded as he came down the steps to meet her. “What’s wrong?”
She bit down hard on her lip, but the tears came anyway, silently spilling down her cheeks.
“Are you hurt? Where?” He reached for her, reeling her in, eyes sharp as they ran over every inch of her.
“Not hurt,” she managed. “Just . . . I got some hard news, but I can’t say it yet.” Not without completely losing it. “I need a minute.”
His eyes were filled with a deep concern, and there was a grim set to his mouth as he gathered her into his arms and held her close, resting his cheek against the top of her head. “Whatever it is, Jane, I’m right here. We’ll deal with it.”
She had no idea how or why, but he never failed to strip her defenses away—a double-edged sword because oh, how she hated being vulnerable or seeming weak. But she fisted her hands in his shirt and held on tight.
They stood like that right in the middle of the front yard for a long moment, her a complete hot mess soaking up the comfort and peace she always found in his arms, him a solid, steady rock. And then suddenly she felt a gentle patting on her back from hands that weren’t Levi’s—which she knew because he had one hand cupping the back of her head, the other low on her spine.
And then yet a third person’s arms hugged her from behind.
“Jane?” It was Shirl. “Baby, what’s the matter?”
“Whatever it is, we got you,” Tess said.
“I’ve got an extra taco. Do you want it?” This was from Peyton, and Jane lifted her head to find that the entire Cutler family had come out of the woodwork to check on her.
The front door was still wide open, and from inside the house came the most delicious scent of Mexican food. She’d interrupted their dinner. She looked up and saw Hank waiting on the porch, clearly not wanting to crowd her. Peyton had a makeshift bib of a paper towel tucked into the neck of her sweater and a taco in one hand. Jasper was at her side, very gently and stealthily licking the taco shell.
“I’m sorry.” Jane swiped at her eyes. “I didn’t mean to interrupt a family dinner.”
“Honey, don’t you give it a second thought,” Shirl said. “Come inside, I’ve got food. And hot tea.”
“Yes,” Tess said. “And I’ve got something to lace the tea with.”
“For me too, Mommy?” Peyton asked.
“No, but you can have a lollipop.”
Levi looked at his mom and sister. There was a silent exchange, and then everyone nodded and went back inside except Levi. “We don’t have to go,” he said. “We can go somewhere else, anywhere you want, name it.”
She sniffed. “The food smells good.”
He smiled. “Here it is then. Talk, or food first?”
She’d never be able to eat until she got this out. “Talk.”
He offered her a hand, and together they walked inside. He pulled her through the crowd of his well-meaning family and up the stairs.
Despite the mountains of paperwork on the desk, Levi’s clothes over the back of the couch, and Peyton’s toys strewn everywhere, the room felt warm and cozy. She sniffed again, trying to get ahold of herself. “You really are a slob like Tess said.”
“Ha-ha.” He reached out and swiped everything from the couch with a single swoop of a hand. “Have a seat.”
When she did, he came up with a box of tissues from somewhere and sat next to her, pulling her into his side. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Right. Now she had to say it out loud. “At breakfast this morning, there was something off about my grandpa, but I couldn’t place it. Last night I’d asked him about his health and he told me he was fine. Promised me, even.” She gulped in some air. “But he’s not. He’s got cancer.” Just saying the words out loud had the horror bubbling up all over again. Her eyes filled. “I just found him again and he’s going to die.”
“Oh, Jane.” He hugged her tight, his jaw resting on the top of her head as he rocked her a little bit, and for a moment, she sank into him and let his strength seep into her.
“What kind of cancer?” he asked. “So many are curable, now more than ever.”
“Yes, if the patient elects to seek treatment.” A little bitter about that, she climbed off of his lap and began to pace the room, not easy with everything on the floor. But Charlotte was right, she was angry, very angry, and that was okay because behind that was a grief she wasn’t ready to face. “It’s lung cancer. Apparently he was successfully treated two years ago, but it’s back and . . .” She swallowed hard. “He is refusing treatment this time. He’s just going to let himself die, without telling me. How could he not tell me? How could he look me in the eyes and promise me that everything was okay when he knew, dammit, he knew that nothing was okay and it wouldn’t ever be okay again.”
Levi rose to his feet and stepped into her path.
She lifted her face to his. “How?” she demanded.
He ran his hands up her arms. “It’s complicated. You more than anyone knows that. You’re only just back in his life. It’s possible he just hasn’t worked up the nerve to tell you yet. Cancer isn’t exactly an easy thing to talk about, especially with someone you love.”
“No.” She twisted away, turned her back on him and his empathy. “It’s exactly the thing you talk about to someone you love. In fact, it’s the first thing he should’ve told me. Like: ‘Hi, I’m so glad you’re back. You should know, though, that I’ve got cancer, but I love you enough to tell you the truth.’”
“Jane—”
“Stop.” Deep in her head somewhere past denial and anger, she knew she was being unreasonable—irrational, even. She knew there was never an easy way or a convenient time to talk about something like this, but she had thought when it came to her and her grandpa, their relationship was real this time. Clearly she’d gotten it wrong. Hell, maybe she was still nothing but an inconvenience. He certainly couldn’t possibly really love her “to the moon and back” if he’d kept such a huge, unforgivable secret.