“Why is Jane mad at you?” Peyton asked him. “Did you do something bad? Cuz you gotta ’pologize when you do something bad.”
Ignoring the three guilty-looking adults in the room, Levi crouched before Peyton. “First, never change, okay?” He tugged her ponytail. “You’re perfect. And second, sometimes adults disagree, and that’s okay.” He rose to his feet and shook his head at the rest of his family. “You couldn’t give me ten minutes of privacy?”
His dad snorted. “Son, you blew that whole thing up in under five.”
Tess nodded her agreement. “I don’t even think one of your PowerPoints could have saved you.”
“I’ve got this,” he said with a certainty he didn’t feel.
Tess looked at her parents. “Please note that, in fact, he does not ‘got this.’”
Levi shook his head and turned to his mom. “And you? The leader of the pack, the nosy instigator, you don’t have a smartass comment for me too?”
“Ask is a bad word,” Peyton said.
“Peyton’s right,” his mom said, nose in the air. “And anyway, the answer is no. I don’t have any comment for you because I’m not talking to you. You felt the need to make up a girlfriend. And then lied to me about it.”
Levi tossed up his hands and walked out of the kitchen, no particular destination in mind as he was already in hell. And oh, goody, Mateo was walking in the front door. The guy took one look at Levi and his smile faded. “What happened?”
“He just destroyed his relationship with Jane,” his mom said over Levi’s shoulder, having followed him from the kitchen.
“Not quite true,” Tess said, coming in behind his mom. “Jane dumped him.”
“Actually, what Jane said was that he could do whatever he wanted,” his mom said.
Mateo shook his head. “Ah, man, when a woman says that, you do not do whatever you want. You stand still. You don’t blink, you don’t even breathe, you just play dead.”
“Awesome,” Levi said. “That was super helpful, thanks.”
His mom looked at Mateo. “Can you tell your best friend he’s an idiot?”
“I think he already knows,” Mateo said.
Levi sighed and turned to his mom. “I thought you weren’t speaking to me.”
“I’m not!” She sighed. “Okay, yes, I am. I’m sorry you messed it up, Levi. So sorry. Are you okay?”
Levi pressed his hand to his aching heart and shook his head. “I’ll let you know if I ever get sensation back in my soul. Not that I should let you know—my personal life shouldn’t be up for debate.”
“Aw, sweetheart.” She cupped his face. “Who taught you that your personal life has to be separate from your family?”
“Who do you think?”
Sadness filled her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “You were just always so private that we tended to do whatever we had to in order to find out what was up with you. I can see now, with perfect twenty-twenty hindsight, that wasn’t always healthy for you. But in our defense, we just love you so much.”
“I love you too, Mom, but you guys couldn’t even give me two minutes to process what just happened before you were breathing down my neck about where I went wrong. You think I don’t already know?”
Looking stricken, she sucked in a breath. “You’re right, we should’ve given you time. We just didn’t want you to take so long that you missed out on something that made you so happy.” She drew a deep breath. “That night you called me from the gondola. It wasn’t to tell me you had a girlfriend. It was to say goodbye, wasn’t it?”
The regret was yet another bitter pill.
“But you couldn’t do it,” she said. “You loved me so much that your last thoughts were of how to make me happy.” She pressed her hand to her chest. “Your heart’s in the right place. You meant well. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you had to be something you weren’t. I’m sorry you felt judged by us. I know we overreact to everything, but, Levi, you uprooted your life and moved away, and we miss you so much. So yes, when you come home, we go a little overboard. But it’s not because we want you to be someone you’re not. It’s not because we don’t love you. It’s because we can’t help ourselves.” And then she did it, she killed him dead when her eyes filled with tears.
“Mom,” he whispered, reaching for her. “Don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it. I want to go after Jane for you and fix this myself.”
“Okay, but you won’t, right?”
She both cried and huffed out a laugh against his chest, and he realized that while maybe his family didn’t always understand him, he’d never taken the time to understand them either. He never imagined that his moving away would bother them so much. At the time, he’d been desperate to find his own space, so much so that he’d unintentionally cut the people who loved him right out of his life.
And wasn’t that what he just accused Jane of doing?
Shit.
Legs weak, he dropped onto the couch and realized everyone was giving him a moment, offering silent support. “I really am an idiot.”
His mom started to open her mouth, but Tess gave her a subtle shake of her head and his mom pinched her mouth together.
Progress, he supposed. Too bad he couldn’t appreciate it with the taste of failure swamping him. Why had he pushed Jane so hard? Why push a truth she hadn’t wanted to hear, making her face her past and inadvertently playing off her worst fear—being walked away from. She’d done the walking, but still. He’d definitely pushed her into it.
He hated that, and at the moment, hated himself too. He needed to prove to her that it was real between them. “I made mistakes.”
“Well, who hasn’t?” his mom asked. “You’re a fixer, always have been. It hurts you when you can’t fix something. Like what Cal took from us. Or when Amy died—”
“Mom—”
“No, baby, listen. There are always going to be things in life that can’t be undone, no matter how badly you want it. But there are also plenty of things you can fix. Like you and Jane. I know you can fix this.”
Mateo nodded.
Tess nodded.
Hell, even his dad nodded.
Peyton opened her hand and offered him a melted chocolate kiss.
What the hell. He popped it into his mouth. “How?” he said. “How do I fix this?”
“Whoa.” Tess looked amazed. “He’s asking for advice. Quick, someone write the date down.”
His mom ignored this. “The fix isn’t easy,” she warned him. “You’re going to have to listen to your heart, which already has the answer.”
Great. Because Levi had no idea how to listen to his heart—which was pounding at the moment, so hard and fast that it hurt. “I might actually be having a heart attack.”
“Or . . . ?” Tess prompted.
“Or . . .” He swallowed hard. “Or I love her.”
“For such a smart guy,” his dad said, clapping a hand onto his shoulder in a rare display of affection, “it sure takes you a while to catch on.”