‘That’s why he had the song title inscribed on my engagement ring.’
She held it out for him to see, but the engraving was so tiny he could barely make it out.
‘I expect it’s a special song for a lot of people though,’ she said and he nodded and wondered why anyone would go to the trouble of having a ring inscribed without choosing the right size first.
She mistook his moment of musing for boredom and apologised. ‘Sorry for going on.’
‘Hey, don’t apologise,’ he said. ‘I’m flattered you can talk to me so openly.’
‘Too openly,’ said Laurie. ‘I’ll be telling you my PIN number next.’
Pete picked up the stubby quiz pencil and pretended to write on his hand. ‘What is it, then?’
She smiled and he thought how beautifully that smile sat on her face.
The smile segued into a yawn and she clapped her hand over her mouth.
‘I’m only impressed you lasted so long in my company before falling asleep,’ Pete said.
‘It’s so not your company, it’s just been a hard day,’ replied Laurie. It was only in this relaxing, convivial setting that she realised how tired she was. There was so much torturing her mind that her sleep was made up of a mass of short fractured shallow naps.
Pete took that as a cue. He was too comfortable with this woman who shared the same world as him, one full of craters and confusion. He downed the rest of his drink and she took her lead from him and downed hers.
‘You leaving, pal?’ said a man with a neck full of tattoos, on the hunt for a seat.
‘Be my guest,’ said Pete, standing.
‘Cheers, pal.’ The man’s girlfriend reminded him of Tara with her artfully made up look-at-me face and dress sense. Proud tumble of hair, glossy lips, brown eyes made so much larger by her skilful ways with kohl.
As they were walking out, they heard the quizmaster announce that the snowball question hadn’t been won again and they both wondered if they’d be back next week.
‘Well, hope you get a good sleep tonight,’ said Pete, at their cars.
‘I just might do,’ Laurie answered, though she couldn’t remember the last time she had a proper, restful, dreamless sleep.
‘Don’t fall asleep before you get home.’
‘I’ll try my best not to.’
Pete got in his car quickly, because it would have been too easy to lean over and kiss her cheek and bypass a boundary that he both did – and didn’t – want to cross.
Chapter 28
February, earlier that year
They peeled apart, sticky and sweaty from sex. She flopped backwards, head sinking deep into the pillow, fat with its newness, heart drumming a satisfied tattoo.
‘You are amazing in bed,’ she said.
‘You’re not so bad yourself.’
She laughed, closed her eyes, relived the moment when the climax shuddered through her body at the same time as she felt his last thrust inside her. There was an odd but thrilling synchronicity between their bodies – and their minds. People said they had found their soulmates when they hadn’t really, just the one who fitted the present requirements, but this, this was the real deal. They’d felt it from the first time they met each other; it rumbled through them like thunder and lightning, connecting them, binding them, with its energy. It had been all-encompassing, obsessional, a fire too hot to sustain and with the cooling came the guilt. It had parted them and they’d tried to move on, but everything was weaker by comparison, a watered-down version of what they’d had with each other.
He had picked up his life where he left it; she had thrown herself at anyone to stem the bleed from her heart that she thought would never stop. She’d met someone lovely, thought it could work – wanted it to work. Then she met him again. A chance encounter. More than that – a clear indicator that whatever direction they tried to go, all roads served to push them back together. So they gave up the fight and let themselves happen again. They were home to each other. Home and heaven.
He swung himself out of bed, strolled over to the scatter of clothes on the floor. It was part of their ritual, tearing them off each other. They both enjoyed the urgency, the chaos.
He lifted up his jacket, rifled in the pocket.
‘Too late if you’re looking for a condom,’ she called.
‘Good.’ He grinned.
He was as confident naked as he was dressed, and she sensed there was purpose in the slow swagger towards her. But not even when he dropped to one knee and held up a box to her in a fluid beautiful movement did she believe what that purpose was.
She sat up quickly.
‘No way.’
He smiled. ‘Will you marry me?’
She gulped. ‘Really? Are you serious?’
‘I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but how can I wait now? This is our most special day,’ he said. He jabbed the box at her, urging her to take it, open it.
Her hand fluttered as it reached out. She took the box. It opened with an old, satisfying creak. Inside the lid the words stamped on the silk, ‘Van Cleef & Arpels’ and a ring – platinum – and a central square diamond, simple and pure. She lifted it out, held it up to the bulb above her head, saw the words ‘Always on my mind’ inscribed on the inner side in tiny letters, because the circumference of the ring was so small. Their words. Nothing to do with Elvis or Dolly or Willie Nelson, there was no tune dancing at the side of them.
‘Yes!’ She threw herself at him. ‘Yes, yes, yes – a million times yes.’
‘Put it on. I want to see it.’
‘You put it on for me.’
He took it from her, slid it onto her finger, which was trembling with anticipation. A perfect fit, of course it was, because he’d chosen it to be.
She tilted her hand, watched the bulb light sparkle in the diamond. Then she removed it, replaced it in the box, handed it to him.
‘Keep it until tomorrow,’ she said. ‘Then I’ll put it on and never take it off.’
They dressed, slowly and carefully, assumed their old identities for the last time.
‘When did you do the test?’ he asked.
‘In a loo in Meadowhall. I wanted to tell you to your face but I had to call you. I was so excited.’
‘We don’t need any more time to think this through, it’s for the best that our hand has been forced. What will you say to him?’ he asked, brushing the creases out of his trousers with the flat of his palm.
‘I’ll be honest,’ she replied. ‘I’ll tell him that I’ve met someone else and I think it’s best that I leave.’ She winced. ‘We’re supposed to be going away for the weekend. He’s booked a hotel.’
‘Go if you want. I can wait—’
‘No, no more waiting. It’ll only make things harder in the long run. What about you? What will you do?’
‘I’m cooking us a meal tonight. I called in to the M and S Foodhall on the way here, picked up something nice. I just hope that we can work things out civilly,’ he replied. ‘I’ll tell her the truth too. Well . . . sort of. None of the details that will hurt her more than I have to.’ He came to sit on the bed at the side of her. ‘I’ll pack a case, come back here and fetch the rest later. We’ll have to sort out the house and finances and all that crap at some point but I’ll try and make it as painless as I can for her.’