‘Will she cut up your suits?’ she asked.
‘She’s not the type,’ he said, without having to think about it. ‘She’s a lovely person. Even after what I’ve done to her, she won’t do that.’
‘Did you ever tell her who you had the affair with?’
‘No. And she never asked.’
‘Will you tell her who you’re leaving her for?’
‘If she asks the question, I will.’ He sighed. He knew her so well and he still loved her and wanted the best for her, and the best wasn’t him. The best was someone who would not rip her heart out and stamp on it, heal it and then repeat.
Her hand instinctively came to rest on her stomach. ‘Will she be hurt about the baby?’
‘It will shred her.’ He rubbed his forehead with the tips of his fingers as if trying to alleviate a pain. ‘We bought the house to fill it with kids. I pushed for that. I thought I could forget you and have everything with her but you were always on my mind, you never left it.’ He reached for her hand, lifted it to his lips. ‘The song came on the radio once when we were in the car and I had to pull up. I couldn’t see. I had to tell her a total lie about why I was so upset. I just wanted you back so much. Then we . . .’
‘. . . bumped into each other.’ She finished the sentence for him, as she so often did.
‘We were meant to be together. I knew it then and I know it now.’
‘At least you don’t have a divorce to arrange,’ she said with a sigh. ‘I worry he’ll find out about the baby and make things awkward.’
‘But surely when he finds out it can’t possibly be his, that will make things easier?’
‘Yes of course.’ The one lie that she’d told him, that the baby couldn’t possibly be her husband’s, because it could be. She’d secretly come off the pill, hoping to get pregnant by her lover, knowing as soon as she did, it would be the catalyst for them to throw all caution to the wind, step out of their old lives like a snakeskin. She hadn’t slept with her husband in that time. Not until their anniversary, when she didn’t avoid it, but asking him to wear a condom, when he never had before, would have ruined the moment and she didn’t want to ruin the moment so she risked it. Guilt had been instrumental in wanting to give him affection that night, this man who was pulling out all the stops to mend the hole in his marriage that she knew could not be repaired. If she could have forced her heart to love him instead, she would have.
‘Life isn’t a fairytale, darling,’ he said. ‘But I’m going to do my best to give us our happy ending. Tomorrow when we wake up here in our bed, it will be the first day of the rest of our lives together,’ he said. ‘The three of us. Nothing is going to ever part us again.’
WEST
Come scattering west wind and sow
Your seeds to quicken and to grow
When Autumn’s fierce and cleansing breath
Has hounded out the old year’s death
THE WEST WIND
ANON
Chapter 29
26 September
‘I see your sign’s up,’ said Bella thumbing in the direction of the bottom of the drive when she walked into Laurie’s house with a bottle of wine. ‘That was quick.’
‘I know. He only came to photograph everything yesterday,’ said Laurie, giving her a welcoming hug. ‘It was so odd but when I came home from work to find it there, I wanted to rip it out. I panicked.’
‘Tell them you’ve changed your mind then,’ said Bella. ‘It’s your call.’
‘No, I’m doing the right thing, I know I am, but . . . I’ll be saying goodbye to so many memories that we made here.’
‘And hello to a fresh, new gaff that’s easier to clean.’ Bella took a long appraising sniff. ‘Something smells lovely.’
‘It’s only lasagne. Lentil and mushroom, you don’t miss the meat at all. I prefer it.’
‘And it’s the perfect clear-out for the system. Lentils go straight through me.’
‘As classy as ever,’ said Laurie with an affectionate tut.
‘You have to admit that pulses are conducive to a great bowel movement.’ Bella followed Laurie into the kitchen.
‘Good job we aren’t on a first date, isn’t it?’
Bella laughed. ‘Stu sends his love. And the wine. I can’t tell you how much it’s worth because you’d be afraid to open it. Prezzie from a buyer – ridiculously expensive. And I bet we won’t be able to tell the difference between it and a good old Hardy’s.’
Alex would have been able to tell the difference. He would have cooed and appreciated the wine’s price tag. He would have pulled out the cork and smelled it, poured a few sips into the right-shaped glass, swirled it around, inhaled the aroma and then tasted and appraised.
Laurie opened up the fridge door. ‘Prosecco to start with?’
‘Jesus Christ, couldn’t you have got a bigger bottle?’ said Bella when Laurie took it out.
‘Won it last night at a quiz. I won’t be responsible for the quality.’
‘Who were you at a quiz with and where?’
‘Pete. The guy who goes to my support group thingy. And the Spouting Tap in Little Kipping.’
Bella’s eyebrows rose to their physical limits. ‘The fireman? Nice. Spouting Tap – very cosy.’
‘Don’t look at me like that. My brain isn’t even thinking about romance.’
‘It doesn’t matter if it was, Laurie. You’re thirty-three years old. You can’t dress up in black and mourn for the rest of your life.’
Laurie poured out the Prosecco, with difficulty because it weighed a ton and was difficult to tip.
‘Stu’s got a new manager at work, single, gorgeous, tall, dark and handsome. He’s called Reid West-Hunt, he even oozes class out of his name,’ said Bella.
‘And?’ There was a nip of suspicion in the word.
‘He’s fresh from a divorce, and asked Stu if he knew any single ladies who might enjoy being wined and dined as he doesn’t want to negotiate the shark-filled waters of internet dating.’
‘Please don’t set me up with a blind date,’ said Laurie.
‘Don’t be silly. But Stu did mention that he’s a catch and if you ever – i.e. in the future – wanted an intro, we would be more than happy to fix up a meet. Dinner at mine and—’
‘By the time I’m ready to date again, Reid will have celebrated his silver wedding and have a brood of seven children,’ said Laurie, handing over a glass flute.
‘Hmm, surprisingly pleasant for plonk. Oh . . . ah and I’m really sorry, I know I said I’d go with you to see the new John Wick film on Sunday night but I’m working away all weekend. Crisis at the Cedar Springs in Reading. It’s too boring to even go into, but I’m needed.’
‘It’s fine,’ said Laurie, hiding her disappointment. She was so looking forward to seeing it and it was the last weekend it would be at the cinema. ‘We can go another time to see another film.’
‘ ’Course we will.’ Bella drained her glass and filled it up again.