Sorry Laurie. Made a mistake. Won’t see you again. Don’t want to mess you around. Good luck.
No kiss. He blocked her number, then deleted it. No door left slightly ajar. No way back. He couldn’t have kids. How could he drop yet another bombshell like that on her when she’d bought a massive house to fill with children? He had to forget her, she had to forget him. And it was better that one of them was protected from knowing the whole truth about their respective partners. Eventually she’d accept that she wouldn’t get answers and she’d make her closure. She’d get over Pete far more than she would ever get over finding out what Alex Wilder was planning to do to her.
Chapter 44
14 October
Laurie knew this was insanity, coming back to see Pat Morrison again and throwing down the toilet – as Bella would put it – another hundred and fifty pounds. But her world was a mad whirl and she didn’t have anyone to talk to as Bella was still on holiday with Stu. She’d been tempted to ring Pete so many times and ask if he was all right, hear something that would indicate he hadn’t meant to drop her so swiftly and absolutely, give him a way back in, but she daren’t – in case she discovered instead that he’d acted with cold deliberation.
She was devastated by this sea change in him and worn out with trying to get into his head. Had they moved too quickly? Was he feeling overwhelmed with guilt? Or maybe they were creatures who had just learned to float and, filled with bravado, had decided to swim the Atlantic. Too much, too soon, scrambling in panic back to hide on the shore. She had to put him out of her mind, let him find his peace. He had lost so much more than she had. But still, she hurt.
She’d pinned up her hair, with a raspberry beret to cover it, put on her reading glasses, wore bright red lipstick in an attempt to look totally different from the last time she had been to Pat Morrison’s pink palace. She’d even given a false name and was going to assume a Welsh accent. Pat opened the door to ‘Linda Parks’ and told her to sit for five minutes in the small front room holding a crystal and choosing from a bowl of objects. This time Laurie avoided the match and chose a small elaborate key.
Fifteen minutes later, Pat Morrison led Linda through to the room that smelled of cherries with a chirpy apology about overrunning.
‘So,’ said Pat, taking the crystal, closing her eyes as she concentrated on the forces emanating from it. Then her eyes sprang open. ‘Have I seen you before?’ she asked. ‘Your energy is quite familiar.’
‘Ages ago,’ Laurie lied in a Welsh accent that kept sliding into Indian. ‘Years in fact. I was a redhead then. And my face was fatter.’
Pat chortled. ‘Goodness me, lovey, I see hundreds of new people every month. Apart from a few regulars, I wouldn’t recognise someone’s face, only their vibe.’ Which was a total lie because Pat Morrison had excellent facial recognition skills. There was definitely something familiar about the young woman in front of her, but she couldn’t recall any detail about her.
‘If you’ve been before, you’ll know how I work,’ said Pat.
‘Yes I do,’ said Laurie, sounding more Kashmir than Cardiff.
Pat took in a deep breath and closed her eyes.
‘You’ve lost someone,’ she said eventually. ‘A man. He’s passed. He’s sending you a lot of love.’
Comforting but limp, thought Laurie. She needed a lot more for her one hundred and fifty pounds.
‘I can see a maze, clear as day,’ said Pat. ‘You’re walking around it and you’re looking for something. Answers to questions. Somebody has these answers, someone close to you. A woman.’
She said that last time, thought Laurie, admiration and cynicism balanced on her internal set of scales. Pat was either consistent or she told everyone the same thing.
‘She doesn’t want to tell you, but you need to know because this will help you move on. Ooh – déjà vu—’ Pat gave a start ‘—I told you this before, didn’t I? I remember this image of a maze. There was a break in your relationship with this person. Female, for sure.’
Laurie did her best to remain impassive, hoped she wasn’t blinking too much or a facial tic had been set off.
‘She’s still hoping you’ll not ask. She’s frightened of what she knows, upset.’
That sounded nothing like Meredith, thought Laurie. She couldn’t wait to tell Laurie what she knew, savoured her disclosure in fact. Plus, she’d already said it all, hadn’t she?
‘And I see a man, I see new love growing,’ said Pat, concentrating hard. ‘I’m hearing very strongly that you have to give him a chance. He’s the right one for you. My spirit guide is very clear about this, Give him a chance is what he’s saying over and over.’
There had been a new love but he was now old news. Pat was clearly viewing her life on TVCatchup.
Pat noticed that the Welsh woman didn’t look as thrilled as everyone else did when she told them that love was just around the corner. She should, though: the feeling was very intense. The trouble was that when her newly encountered spirit guide came on the scene, he used up all the energy in the crystal and it went dead in Pat’s hand very quickly. She thought she’d throw in a little of her own philosophy to bulk up the session; after all, the woman was paying over the odds for her time.
‘Never give up hope where love is concerned. It’s like a butterfly. It flits here and there, settles, buggers off and just when you think you’ve seen the last of it, blow me, it comes flying towards you again.’
Yes it came flying towards me, it hit me full on, it smashed up my heart and left forever, thought Laurie. Not exactly a great advert for hope.
‘And the ball has gone cold.’ Pat opened her eyes and put the crystal down on the table at her side. ‘Ah you’ve chosen a key,’ she said, holding out her hand for Laurie’s object of choice. ‘You’re searching for something,’ she went on, rolling it around in her hand, absorbing Laurie through it. ‘You will find it, but what we discover isn’t always what we’ve been looking for. I think this is to do with the woman again.’
Laurie tried to hang on to her deadpan expression.
‘The key is very warm. I see a lot of heat, I see happiness.’ Eventually. She didn’t say so but felt the woman had a big hurdle to get past. A few wrong turnings in that maze before she found her way out of it. Sometimes Pat only saw images of blackness and experienced a feeling of dread, but she would never say as much. There was a large blot of darkness in her thoughts regarding this young woman, she didn’t like the look of it at all. It wasn’t an illness blot; it denoted danger. She had to be careful what she said now, as scaring someone was more likely to lead to them being jittery and setting off a self-fulfilling prophecy. She really did see happiness for this young woman; after the blot had cleared. She decided to leave well alone and not mention it. She turned her full attention back to the key.
‘I can see . . . I can see a sky lit up with colour. Could it be fireworks? And that man standing with you, looking at it.’ She smiled at Laurie and had the urge to stick her hand up like a child in class so she went with it, first finger extended. ‘Does this mean anything to you?’ she asked.