It’s as if that one picture had undone years of hard work. Now people were singing her praises and acting like they wanted to get to know her; meanwhile, mom was sitting in a chair in the corner looking like she’d lost her mind. “Where the hell is Felix? Mom, call him and see what’s going on. As soon as she gets here, we’re burning that wig.”
“Wig? What wig, who’re you talking about?”
“What the hell is the matter with you? Gia, of course, you saw the picture; what’re you going to do about it?”
“Oh, yes, Gia, of course, that’s who was in the picture.”
“Why are you talking like that? Did you hit your head?” She just shook her head and looked around the room as if searching for something. She looked…scared.
Her reaction was making the nerves in my tummy do jumping jacks. She can’t come apart now, not when things are taking a turn for the worst. I need her to be with it so she can work on Felix while I deal with Gia. I’m not sure how or when it had become so important for me to be better than her. Not sure what exactly had triggered this need in me, but it’s been going on too long for me to stop now.
The fact that she was this close to Gabriel Russo and his family is something I can’t even let myself think about. No one knew until that photo that she’d spent the weekend with them. No one had asked, and who’d have expected things to turn out this way? I’d told the girls about the prank I’d planned to pull on her, though they knew it was more than that. How am I supposed to face them now?
It’s as if she’d purposely done it to make me look bad. I couldn’t resist looking at the phone one more time, glad that it hadn’t cracked when I threw it in my rage. I can’t express the feelings that came over me seeing her looking like that while sitting so close to Gabriel and that look on his face. Adoring? Admiring? My heart felt sick as I was afraid it was more. Why does she deserve for him to look at her like that?
For a split second, it felt like I was losing my mind, everything was a jumble, and another look outside showed no sign of Felix returning. I needed to see Gia in front of me. Needed to make sure that the picture was just a fluke, that she hadn’t changed that much in one weekend. I need that thick flowing beautiful mane to be a wig, something I can easily destroy to expose the shaved head I’d planned for her when I emptied the glue into her shampoo bottle.
How come everything has been going wrong here lately? It all started when Gabriel got involved. For the first time in a very long while, I’ve been losing to Gia, and it’s not a good feeling. After years of subduing her, I’m starting to feel the way I used to when I was a little girl who sat on the sidelines at every party. Parties I was only invited to because my mom was friends with her mom, the goody-two-shoes who always went out of her way to involve us, her charity cases, according to mom anyway.
After mom married Felix, things had changed, mom had made sure of it, and I’d done the rest. I’ve done my part over the last decade and more to build the relationships I have with the friends that were once hers. All those girls from affluent snobby families who’d barely given me the time of day even as kids but were now my followers. I can’t lose to her, not like this.
But when I look at that screen, something inside me tells me that the days of me ruling Gia’s life were coming to an end. It was bad enough when she no longer seemed to care what I said or did to her, but this, this was something unexpected. Because all those friends combined didn’t add up to one of the Russos, and everyone knows it. Why had they chosen her? Why had he?
It took mom calling my name a couple of times for it to register. “WHAT?”
“Why are you making that noise?” I stared at her like she was crazy while the echoes of a keening sound faded away in the recesses of my mind. Was that me sounding like a wounded animal just then? “Mom!”
I didn’t have to tell her how I felt as I crawled over to her and laid my head in her lap. “It’s going to be okay, baby. I’ll have them take the picture down tomorrow as soon as school starts. And when she gets home tonight, I’ll deal with her. You don’t have to worry; I’ll make sure she’s never invited to the Russo’s place again.”
Her words were soothing at least, but there was a lingering doubt in my mind that said it might not be that easy this time. Somehow, I get the feeling that the same things that worked in the past wouldn’t work as well on Gabriel Russo, and it’s him I need, no want, on my side.
If Gia ends up being chummy with that family or, worst yet, getting close to Gabriel, I don’t think I can bear it. The tears started then, long-drawn-out sobs that felt as if my heart would break. How am I going to turn this around? What can I possibly do? From the looks of things, Gabriel was already firmly in her corner.
The hate that thought invoked added some much-needed warmth to my frazzled nerves, and I felt the slightest glimmer of hope. Why was I giving up so easily? It hadn’t been easy to beat Gia the first time, and I’d done it when I was much younger. Granted; mom had been of some help, but I’d done most of the work. Either way, I just need her to be here; no matter what, no one can protect her from me behind these walls.
After I burn that wig, I’ll be sure to destroy anything she’d gained this weekend, and then I’ll go to work on severing whatever ties she’d formed with the Russos—time to put my thinking cap on. I looked at the picture one last time, seemingly drawn to it against my will, and felt that dip in my stomach again.
The stupid thing already had more than six hundred comments, which was more than half the student body and definitely more than the sixty or so kids in our grade. Just reading the first few gushing compliments was enough to have me rushing to the bathroom to throw up. Looking at myself in the mirror as I rinsed my mouth out, I felt like that ugly little girl once again. The girl who never quite compared to the little princess everyone wanted to be their friend.
My heart broke in two at the thought that after all that I’d done and how far I’d come, we were right back here, with Gia being the center of attention, while no one even mentioned my name.
FELIX
After leaving the Russo residence, I didn’t go directly home; I had too much to think about. The kid seems to think that I don’t care about my own daughter, but nothing could be further from the truth. I’d spent all weekend rehashing everything he’d said to me the last time we met, trying to make sense of his assumptions.
At first, I thought Gia might’ve been telling tales out of school, but that’s not like her; she’s too much like her mother, my late wife.
Adrienne had been the sweetest, kindest, most unassuming woman in the world, and I see some of her in our daughter. Until he planted those seeds of doubt in my mind, I always thought Rebecca did the things she did and acted the way she does with Gia because she wanted to do the best for her old friend’s daughter. I saw all the restrictions she placed on Gia as her going above and beyond to take care of the child left behind by someone she once loved like a sister, but could I have been mistaken?
I find it hard to believe; I can’t accept his words as truth because to do so would be accepting my own failure. To believe him would be saying that all these years while I’d had a hand in my child’s unhappiness. The child Adrienne and I had had so much love for.