“I told you that I knew I was clean. The reason I know is that ever since I came back, I haven’t been with a woman. I couldn’t get hard. At all. Not even with those little blue pills. Nothing worked.” He reached up and smoothed my hair back. “Until you. Just holding you in my arms was enough. It’s why you caught me jerking off in the shower. It was the first time in four years, and I wasn’t even sure my dick would work right.”
“What does that have to do with anything? It’s obvious that it works. I mean, you came in my mouth, and you got hard again after.” Now it was my turn for my face to feel like it was on fire.
“Yeah, getting hard doesn’t seem to be an issue when it comes to being with you, but there might be a little problem with getting you pregnant. I’m not sterile, but I do have a low sperm count. The doc said it would be difficult to knock someone up, but not impossible. Just might take a while.”
I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. “Is that what had you worried? I’m okay with waiting a while. I already told you I don’t want to be pregnant all the time, or even right away. If it’s a few years before we have a baby, I’m all right with that.”
He pressed his forehead to mine. “You know, can’t knock you up if we haven’t had sex. Not sure now is necessarily the time, but definitely soon.”
I pressed my lips to his, just a brief kiss, but I appreciated that he wasn’t being pushy about it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to have sex with him, because I really, really did, but after everything I’d dealt with the last twenty-four hours and learned today my mind was spinning. Not to mention my stomach was growling. Loudly. I felt my cheeks warm, and Outlaw chuckled.
“Seems I need to feed you, then maybe I can introduce you to a few other people around here. I don’t want you to feel isolated or alone.”
“I’d love to meet some of the other women here. I’m sure the other club members are great, but there will be times that having another woman nearby would be nice.”
He nodded. “All right. I’ll see what I can do. Probably won’t get a chance to meet Shella since her sister ran off, but I’ll see if Meiling is free and maybe Adalia. Griz is going to have Shella on lockdown, or so I would guess. If I’d had a kid run off, I’d put the other one on house arrest. But first let’s see what’s in the kitchen. We might have to go out. Now that I know the threat to you, at least here, has been handled, I’m not so worried about leaving the compound with you. Or the house for that matter.”
“You don’t think Garrison, or Bastard, whatever his name really is will come after me?”
Outlaw sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know the guy, hadn’t even heard of him before this, so I have no idea what he’ll do. I would think that trying to chase you down would take up too much time and it would be easier for him to focus on someone else.”
That didn’t make me feel much better. I might have wanted to escape the life I had, but it didn’t mean that I wanted any of the single ladies at the church to fall into his trap either. I also didn’t like that I had no idea how my foster parents were involved. They’d seemed so nice, if a bit strict at times, that I had a hard time picturing them working with a guy like that to launder money. What if they’d somehow gotten caught up in whatever illegal thing he was doing and didn’t have a way out?
I might not love the Tolberts, but they had clothed me, fed me, and treated me well. Bad language, R-rated movies, and rock music hadn’t been permitted, and I’d had to dress a certain way, but they hadn’t hurt me. I’d just felt suffocated by them. It didn’t mean they deserved to have bad things happen to them if they weren’t willing participants in whatever Garrison was doing.
Outlaw ran a finger down my nose. “I’ll see if I can figure out what’s going on with your foster parents, but no promises. I think Demon wants the club to steer clear of this as much as possible.”
“I understand, I just don’t want them hurt if it can be helped. If they’re as rotten as Garrison is, then they deserve whatever happens, but what if they’re being forced to help him?”
He nodded. “I wondered the same thing. Not much I can do if the club officers tell me to stay out of it. I know you’re worried, and I’ll try to help if I can, but you may have to let this one go, angel.”
I didn’t like that answer, not even a little. I also felt really bad about leaving them. If I’d stayed, I’d have been in trouble from the sound of things, but had I endangered them by ruining his plans? Garrison didn’t sound like the kind of man who would take kindly to me running off.
Outlaw rubbed between my eyebrows and I realized I was frowning. “Tell you what. I’ll text a few friends, see if anyone has contacts up near your foster family. Maybe they can just check on them, discreetly, to give you peace of mind.”
“Thank you.” I hugged him tight. “I know it seems silly. I was running away from them and now I’m worried they might be hurt.”
“Not silly, angel. They took care of you when you needed someone.”
He tugged his phone from his pocket and tapped on the screen for a few minutes. When he was done, he slid it back into his jeans and led me to the kitchen. I helped him search the cabinets, pantry, and fridge to get an idea of what we might eat, but it was apparent that he needed to make a grocery run. I had to wonder how he managed it when he had a motorcycle. It was a good thing I had a…
“Crap!”
“What?” he asked.
“My car! I forgot all about it.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “What do you need your car for?”
Wait. Was he trying to tell me I couldn’t have it? I mimicked his pose and narrowed my eyes, which only seemed to amuse him since his lips tipped up on one corner. “Why can’t I have my car?”
“If you need to go somewhere, I can take you.”
Oh good grief. I knew he could be controlling and all dominant, but this was ridiculous. I rolled my eyes and huffed at him. “Are you serious right now? How are you going to take me to the grocery? Where are we going to put everything?”
His eyebrows shot up and he outright smiled. “Are you sassing me right now?”
I shifted from foot to foot, not sure if I should admit it or not. He prowled closer, sat down on the nearest kitchen chair, then before I time to move, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me across his lap. His hand cracked down my ass three times in rapid succession.
“Ow! What the hell, Noah?” Smack. Smack. “Stop it!”
“Sassy girls get spankings.” His hand cracked against my ass again. “And if you weren’t a virgin, I’d already have your pants down and be balls-deep inside you just to remind you who’s the boss in this relationship.”
I gasped in outrage, but he rubbed his hand across my aching backside, then slipped his fingers between my legs, rubbing the seam of my jeans against my clit, and it quickly turned to a moan. It wasn’t fair that he could make me feel like this. I should be furious with him. I was a grown adult, not some wayward kid who needed to be punished. He rubbed a little harder and I nearly came. Maybe being punished wasn’t exactly horrible.