Alex shivered, his face settling into a frown. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, then blinked at her. “One of these days, I’m not going to let you run off afterward,” he grumbled, then stood to start dressing.
Brenne watched him, wanting to stay. She wanted to settle back into the bed and ask him what he’d been about to say last night. But she knew that, ultimately, it wouldn’t matter. She had to go.
She stuck her head out into the hall, making certain the coast was clear, then hurried to the back door. Slipping out, she rubbed her arms in the cold. It seeped through her sweatshirt, so she put on a burst of speed.
The sun was just creeping over the horizon, which meant she was right on the cusp of the morning wakeup time for her parents. They were up late because of the birth, she told herself. I bet they both sleep in.
Even though she tried to be convincing, it wasn’t enough. Brenne couldn’t remember her parents ever waking up late. She heard them bustling around in the morning, usually waking up to grumble and then go back to sleep. I’ve got about five minutes before Dad heads to the bathroom and Mama May walks down to the kitchen in her robe to put on the coffee.
Brenne sprinted through the backyard, hitting the trellis that climbed the side of the house beside her second-floor bedroom window. As quietly as she could, she started climbing, relieved that the flowers weren’t in bloom.
She hadn’t climbed the trellis since she was in high school, so Brenne prayed that she hadn’t gained a significant amount of weight since then. The last time she’d tried to climb the trellis, she’d reached her room only to find an angry Mama May waiting there for her. The wooden structure thankfully held her weight, and Brenne managed to shove open her bedroom window and crawl inside.
No angry mother was waiting inside. She let out of sigh of relief and fell into her bed, fully clothed. She was debating whether to risk a trip to the bathroom when her bedroom door opened. Brenne kept her eyes closed, not sure she was ready for an early morning confrontation.
“Oh, poor baby,” she heard her mother whisper. “Must have fallen asleep in her clothes. If you’re not awake, I won’t bother to fry any bacon for you.”
“Bacon?” Brenne murmured, one eye cracking open.
Mama May laughed. “I thought that might do the trick. Why don’t you take a nice long hot shower, and by the time you’re done, I’ll have breakfast on the table?”
Brenne peeled herself out of bed. She was tired, but not as tired as she thought she might be. Her stomach grumbled, letting her know for certain that she preferred breakfast over sleep.
The shower felt like heaven, and she let her weariness wash down the drain. Climbing out of the tub, she dried off, then pulled her hair up into a ponytail and returned to her room to dress. She was at the kitchen table within twenty minutes, just as Mama May set down a steaming plate in front of her.
Jameson appeared, picking up a couple of slices of bacon and sticking them between toast. He nodded at Brenne, then kissed his mother on the cheek. “I’m taking the milking shift today. Tell Elijah and Evan I want them clearing the east field. It’s never too early to get ready for the next planting.”
“And Jack? What do you want him to do today?” Mama May asked sweetly.
Jameson’s brow furrowed. “I figured he could paint if he felt like it.”
“Your brother needs to feel useful,” their mother said. “What about sending him and your father out to mend fences?”
“The last time Jack mended a fence, he got six stitches for his trouble,” Jameson said. “He’s more work than it’s worth.”
“Thanks, brother,” Jack said. Brenne’s head flew up to see her brother standing at the entrance to the kitchen. His expression was neutral, but she saw a hint of hurt in his eyes.
Jameson turned to him. “I was only talking about the fences, Jack. There’s plenty you can do. How about you help Brenne gather eggs and feed the chickens and pigs?”
“Like she needs help,” Jack said. “You’re just giving me busy work.”
“I am kind of tired today,” Brenne said with a yawn. “I’m happy to let you do all of my work.”
Jack stared at her, then turned and walked away.
“Goddammit,” she said under her breath, making her mother fix her with a glare.
“Brenne Layne MacAllen, don’t think I won’t tan your hide for blaspheming in my kitchen.” She shook her spatula in Brenne’s direction. “Go apologize to your brother.”
She abandoned her plate with a heavy sigh, then set off down the hall to find Jack. He was on the porch, staring out over the yard.
“Why am I still here, Brenne?”
“The same reason all of us are still here. We’re family.”
Jack frowned. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this family. I love the ranch as much as any of you, but I’m not like you.”
Brenne thought he was talking about his art. “You’re right. You’re not. You’re way more talented.”
“What are you talking about?” he yelled, throwing his hand up in disagreement. “I’m the worst rider out of all of us. I can’t rope a cow for shit. Every plant I’ve ever cared for in the garden has died. What use am I around here?”
“You’re being way too hard on yourself, Jack,” she said, coming forward to embrace him. “You can do plenty of things. This ranch isn’t just about corn and cows. It’s about being together and building something that’s bigger than any one of us. It’s all of us.”
He stepped back, falling into one of the rocking chairs. “Brenne, I feel like I’m back in high school. I’m past thirty. I should have already figured out what to do with my life.”
“You’re doing it,” she said, sitting beside him. “You’re helping out around here, and you’re painting. You’re an artist, Jack. A good one. That counts for something.”
“Does it?” he said bitterly. “I don’t feel like I count. I feel like a minus, not a plus. I’m a drag on this family.”
“Where is all this coming from?” Brenne didn’t understand. She knew now that Dad was feeling better, that Jack was out of sorts, not sure what to do with himself. But she hadn’t expected it to be so bad. Maybe I’ve been too hung up on my own crisis to recognize his.
“How about we go into Lubbock today?” she said. “If you help me with my chores, we can get into town in time for brunch. It will be nice to get off the ranch for a bit, get some breathing room.”
Jack looked out over the yard, his brow furrowing. “Brunch, huh? Why, so you can try to convince me I’m not a waste of space?”
“No, brother,” she contradicted. “I could use some advice, and I don’t want to talk here. Too many chances to be overheard.”
He looked at her as if he didn’t quite believe her. She thought he might refuse and was about to offer to pay for brunch herself, but he nodded instead. “Brunch it is. Let’s go get those eggs before they hide them from us.”
Brenne stood and followed him down the steps off the porch. When they passed the bunkhouse, she resisted the temptation to make an excuse to go inside and see if Alex was still there. She knew he wasn’t when they approached the calving barn and she saw that his vehicle was gone. Brenne let out a long breath.