“If no one is worried about the town being destroyed anymore, then why not give it another shot with Alex? He’s a good man, and you’re good for each other.”
Brenne eyed her mother. “He might be a good man, but we aren’t good together.”
“This isn’t like you, giving up on something you want.” Her mother shook her head, not pleased with what she’d heard.
“Mama, I know you like Alex, but he said it himself. We lead different lives and have nothing in common. He said he wasn’t the right man for me.” The words still stung, weeks after he’d said them.
“Nothing in common. That’s ridiculous. You share common values, common goals. You both believe in the importance of family, and just look how you both feel about animals. You lighten him up when he gets too serious, and he helps channel your wildness in useful directions. You’re good for each other, and neither you nor Alex will convince me otherwise.”
“Mama, it ain’t just that.” Brenne sighed, feeling beyond tired.
“Then what? Your brothers? They’ll fall in line. And if you’re worried about Jameson, he’ll come around. I raised him better than holding a grudge against his friend. Once he sees how good you two are together, he’ll get over his anger.”
“I’m not good enough for him.” The words came out suddenly and Brenne’s voice cracked. “I don’t have anything to offer a man like him. He doesn’t want me.”
“Oh, honey.” Mama May took her into her arms and held her, stroking her hair. “Anyone can see that isn’t true. Folks say a lot of things to each other when emotions run high, and most of it’s bullshit. I think Alex himself would tell you that you’re wrong, given half the chance.”
“He’s had chances. All we do is fight.” She buried her tearstained face in her mother’s apron.
“Shh, baby, it’s going to be okay. You’ve just given him a chance to realize what he’s missing. Trust me. He’ll be calling for you again in no time.”
Brenne pulled back, giving her mother a watery smile. “I don’t think he’s missing me at all.”
“Oh, I know he is. You just wait.” Mama May took the corner of her apron and dried Brenne’s tears. “You mark my words. That man is missing the bejesus out of you right now.”
CHAPTER 37
ALEX
I miss Brenne.
He guided the kitten back into its cage and closed the door, then turned to the sink to wash his hands. The kitten let out a loud mewl, then stuck its paw through the bars of the cage, trying to reach out and touch him.
Alex chuckled, leaning down to peer through the bars. “You’re a little wildcat, aren’t you?” Then he sighed. Just like Brenne.
It had been two days since he’d made a fool of himself on the MacAllen ranch. The swelling in his jaw from Jim’s sucker punch was finally starting to go down, but no matter the aches and pains he’d received at the hands of the second eldest MacAllen sibling, his heart hurt worse.
She dominated his thoughts, morning, noon, and night. When he brushed his teeth, she was there. When he ate lunch on the go, she was there. During his exams, his breaks, his morning coffee, and his nightcap, she was there through all of it, haunting him.
I miss her so much that I have a perpetual stomachache. I can’t think, can barely concentrate. I didn’t know I could feel this way about another person. It’s like part of me is suddenly gone and all that’s left is a gaping hole.
Alex picked up the cat carrier and took the little orange kitten inside out to the lobby where its owner was waiting. Emma gave the college-age woman her instructions and passed her kitten back to her. Alex’s eyes caught on the photo of them at the charity event and froze there.
“Emma, we need to talk.”
She turned to him, a delicate eyebrow raised. “What’s up?”
“When you invited me along to the charity dinner, I thought it was as the sponsor, but I think you might have considered it a date. I hadn’t meant it to be.”
She looked at him, confused. “Okay… did something happen or…”
“I should have told you that night that we couldn’t date, that I considered you an employee and a friend, but I didn’t know how to say it without coming off like a jerk. You’d just organized this massive fundraiser and put all this work into it, and it wasn’t the right time.”
Alex could see two red spots rising on her cheekbones. Emma’s mouth flattened. “And the Valentine’s Day dance? I suppose that wasn’t a date either?”
“No, that was a date.” He couldn’t deny that. But how did he explain that he’d been confused? That he’d been trying to move on from Brenne, but his heart wouldn’t let him? “That was also a mistake. I shouldn’t have accepted your invite. You’re my employee, for one, and it was inappropriate. But more than that, I wasn’t in a place to be dating. I’m sorry.”
“You’re seeing someone else, aren’t you?” Her pitch went up, her eyebrows down. “I had a feeling that something was off, but I didn’t think you were capable of that level of disregard.”
“Emma, all I can say is that I’m sorry. You’re an excellent employee and a beautiful woman, but I don’t feel that way about you.”
She closed the chart she was holding with a violent motion and threw it on the desk. “You know, I may not be the type to toot my own horn, but I’m a good woman, and I’ve only ever done right by you.”
Alex put his hand over his heart. “I am fully to blame, and I understand if you want to spit in my eye then walk out that door and not come back. You don’t deserve a lick of what happened to you, and I can’t apologize more. But I also can’t carry on with the charade.”
He walked over to the photograph and pulled it off the wall by the frame. Turning around, he spoke from the heart. “I know I don’t deserve your loyalty or even your friendship, but I am truly sorry. And if it’s any consolation, I’ve never been so disappointed in myself.”
Emma marched over to him, her face like stone. She took the frame out of his hands, then pushed her way out the clinic door. Alex sat down behind the desk, his head in his hands. It had to be done, and he did feel lighter afterward, but he hated to hurt Emma. She’d been blameless in all of this.
So far, my apology tour is zero for two. He didn’t blame the women for walking out on him. He’d completely lost his cool with Brenne. As for Emma, he’d blindsided her. Alex used to consider himself an upstanding guy, but now he realized he’d been selfish in the extreme. He’d refused to court Brenne properly, and when Emma approached him, he’d used her to help him forget about Brenne. The world doesn’t revolve around me.
But my world revolves around Brenne.
Alex was beginning to worry that he’d never get over the fiery blonde who’d taught him that a little wildness in life was just fine. How am I supposed to spend the rest of my life a mile away from her and not feel like I’ve lost the best thing I ever had?
Maybe I’ll close the clinic in Whiskey River. I can focus on the practice here, build it into something more substantial. Then I won’t have time to worry about what Brenne is doing. And the likelihood of running into her in Lubbock is slim.