“It’s fine. You’re here now.” She shrugged out of her jacket and sat. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too. How are Max and Michael?”
“They’re great. Having their own boys’ night with Nate.”
I purposely hid the spike in my blood pressure over hearing his name.
“That’s nice.”
As we both picked up a menu, she asked, “By the way… how’s it going with Nate?”
“I don’t know. Fine, I guess.” She narrowed her gaze and waited. “What?”
“Fine, you guess?”
I ignored her interrogating stare, blindly looking at the menu until the waiter came by with a smile, and I wanted to kiss him.
“Ladies, can I start you off with drink orders?”
“I’ll have a white wine,” I answered first.
“I’ll have the same.”
The man nodded and left us alone once more.
“I’m impressed you’re drinking,” I said.
“I pumped and am trying to wean Michael off.” We both resumed reading the menu before she casually said, “So I want to throw Max a surprise party, which means it would need to be a party for all three of them.”
“When?”
“November sixth,” she said, as if it were obvious. “It is their birthday.”
“But that’s a week from Saturday.” I had decided to phase Nate out of my life that weekend. After one last hoorah, I’d claim the arrangement was no longer working for me. Jade’s little idea would screw that decision up. “When were you going to tell me this?”
“I’m telling you now,” she sassed. “We originally planned to be in Miami, but something popped up here that Max needs to handle.” She mistook my silence for doubt. “I can manage it. I’m having it at Monica and Mitch’s house. They won’t suspect a thing.” She then leaned closer, as though ready to reveal a big secret, and her big brown eyes widened excitedly. “Speaking of… they love you.”
“They who?”
“They everyone. Monica, Mitch, her sister, brother-in-law, Hilary, the entire freakin’ wedding guest list. I think you even won over the minister. They all loved you.”
“Why?” I honestly didn’t know how that could’ve happened. I was a bundle of nerves the entire time, and people often misconstrued that as snootiness.
“Because you’re gorgeous and funny, and you obviously charmed them all. My mother-in-law credits you with the change she sees in Nate.”
“What change?” I asked incredulously, closing my menu for this one.
“Apparently, she has never seen her son so smitten before.” Jade grinned. “Her words.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate.” And complete bullshit. Smitten, my ass. Jade’s scowl forced me to explain. “I like her and don’t want her getting the wrong idea. Nate and I aren’t what she assumes.” A hot flash hit with little mercy. “Shit, is it hot in here?” I asked, dropping the leather folder to peel my sweater off.
Just as I twisted to drape it over the back of my chair, she barked, “What the hell is that?”
When I turned around, Jade had her finger aimed at the shoulder blade that had been inked.
“Crap. I was hoping it’d be weeks before you saw it.”
Ignoring me, she twirled the still-rigid finger. “Turn around.” With an exaggerated sigh, I twisted enough to better reveal it. “When did you get it?”
“Sunday.”
“Why?”
“As a reminder that I love me, first and foremost.”
Jade narrowed her eyes again, but this time also folded her arms. “What the hell happened now?”
“Nothing happened,” I hissed with no patience. But the glare I received meant she wasn’t in the mood for my attitude. “I think it’s time to part ways with him.”
“Amy. He clearly is crazy about you.”
“He’s crazy about sex.”
“He can get sex anywhere he wants. He wants you. Big difference.” The pressure of tears building caught her off guard, and she reached across the table to take my hand. “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I’m getting over my period,” I used as an excuse.
Still, Jade wasn’t buying it, and the squeeze she gave me made me feel even worse. “Aim.”
When she kept her sympathetic eyes tethered to mine, I finally admitted, “I’m scared.”
“About what?” she asked in a soft voice, but saying it out loud would hold me accountable, and that was something I wasn’t ready to do. Jade, being Jade, wouldn’t have it, though. “Amy. Please talk to me. I hate seeing you like this.”
There had been a day when the tables were reversed, and she’d needed my support. Despite my lack of experience with committed relationships, I’d been there for her. Of course, she would be there for me as well. If there was ever a time to be vulnerable, it would be with the one person who was as close to a sister as I’d ever had.
“I really like him, Jade,” I finally admitted. “Because of that, I need to end things before he ruins me.” Jade’s head slid from side to side as I nodded. “Yes. It’s too much, and one sided. He isn’t capable of what I can’t stop from wanting. I’ve tried to pretend I’m better off without a deep emotional connection, and until now I never questioned my belief, because no one ever made me want more.” I looked down to prevent her from seeing that the pressure had morphed into actual tears, and I hated feeling so weak. “Nate makes me want more. I don’t know how it happened or why. I was so careful, keeping my walls up, but something changed, and I can’t change it back. It’s time to walk away.”
Jade tugged on my hand until I lifted my eyes back to hers. “I overheard Max and him talking as I was getting ready. Nate is just as confused.” That did little to comfort me, until she added, “He’s out of his element, which could only mean one thing. Whatever he’s feeling is obviously unexpected. I’d hate for you to do something stupid because you assume things when, in fact, he could be feeling the same.”
No way he was feeling the same. If he was acting weird, most likely he was preparing to call it quits before I did.
Sensing my stubbornness, she squeezed my hand, adding her other on top. “You need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It could turn into an entirely different outcome.” Did I want that? I didn’t know, because a huge part of me felt if not now, eventually, we would run our course. Still, my friend persisted. “Don’t give up yet. Promise me.”
“Fine,” I conceded. “I’ll give it some more time.”
Although I needed to have my head examined for allowing her to talk me into not giving up yet, when Jade suggested we go back to her place after our dinner, I declined. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see him a day earlier than planned. That didn’t mean I hadn’t thought of him all night.
So much so that by morning I was truly looking forward to spending time with Nate. But like a cruel joke, a text came midafternoon, causing disappointment to hit hard.