Now in a bit of a daze, Jesse stared at her full lips, still rounded as if she were about to utter another Oh, and felt a pang of loss.
Was it his fate to always be alone? To be a crotchety seventy-year-old sitting on his porch with a shotgun across his lap, daring anyone to breach his property so he could shoot them. Would he be that guy? Hell, would he live long enough to be that guy?
“You worked together in the Army?”
He didn’t want to lie, so he made a hard subject change. “Have you talked to Natasha yet?” He was usually a bit more skilled in the art of the dodge, but he wasn’t thinking clearly at the moment.
“Talked to her on my way here. Natasha and baby Emory should be getting discharged from the hospital later today.”
Natasha was Gray’s CIA sister. And Natasha’s husband, Wyatt, was a SEAL who worked alongside A.J.
A.J. also had a child now, and the last three months since he’d been born had flown by.
Jesse wouldn’t be surprised if Savanna and Griffin had a little one soon.
Griffin was the only engaged one on their immediate five-man and one-woman team at Falcon Falls. But surely that’d change eventually. Two of his teammates, Jack London and Sydney Archer were divorced. And Sydney was a mother to a teenage son. But he doubted they’d stay single forever. Same with his team leader, Gray Chandler, or his other teammate, Oliver Lucas.
Jesse had a feeling Carter would stay single forever after losing his wife, though, but then again . . . he’d thought the same about Savanna.
“Did you also hit your head against that wall when you were hammering it with your fists?” Ella snapped her fingers before his face, startling him back to the fact she was standing there and had probably been talking.
“Your yammerin’ always does have me fallin’ asleep.”
“I wasn’t talking, smartass.” She rolled her eyes. Standard for Ella, and she turned her saucy self toward the table. “But I am a little surprised Wyatt drove Natasha down here for the Christmas Eve party so close to the baby’s due date, which was supposed to be next week. They’re lucky her water didn’t break on the way home.”
“That woman worked all the way up until Christmas Eve, so it seems like stubbornness is in her DNA. Like someone else I know.” He shot her a quick grin, and she swatted the air in his direction.
“But,” she began, “I suppose Natasha had good reason. Celebrating Savanna and Griffin’s engagement wasn’t just a joyous occasion for everyone, it was also their goodbye to Marcus. Granted, it wasn’t their first farewell, but it was probably the most touching, in light of the circumstances.”
Savanna’s late husband, Marcus, and Ella’s brother, A.J., had been college best friends at Bama. Served together in the Navy, then worked clandestine ops for the President that Jesse wasn’t supposed to know about. And sadly, Marcus was killed by terrorists during one of those ops.
Jesse knew A.J. and the others had said their goodbyes more than once since Marcus had died, particularly after the terrorists responsible were finally killed. But with Savanna planning to remarry, the team had felt it appropriate to say another one.
“True,” he finally spoke up.
“Natasha said Gray’s going to stay in D.C. until New Year’s. And Sydney’s in D.C. with her son for the holidays. Does that mean we have you until then?”
“I don’t know.” His plans now hinged on the call he’d regrettably be making to Thatcher as soon as Ella left.
“So.” She hooked her thumbs in the front pockets of her jeans as her gaze darted to the folder.
Shit.
He quickly sidestepped her and casually reached for it, tucking it back inside the envelope. “Just the job offer.” He faked a smile, one she’d read as another load of bullshit.
He set the envelope on another workbench by the battered wall, laying the business card facedown by it.
Ella shot him a puzzled look before returning her focus to his current project. She smoothed her palm along the top of the slab of wood he’d been sanding before Thatcher had arrived and dropped a bomb on him.
“How do you do that?” he found himself muttering.
“Do what?”
“Look at something broken and see beauty. Already see the finished product. This rough slab of wood isn’t ugly in your eyes,” he commented while rounding the workbench to stand opposite her, and she peered up at him.
“How do you know I see this as beautiful right now?” she asked, her tone softer than it had been lately. Less saucy and more sweet.
“I can see it in your eyes.” Because of how you look at me. Look at my dark soul and somehow still see . . .
Ella’s throat visibly moved with a swallow. He’d made her uncomfortable. He’d shown a sliver of “something more,” which he’d worked hard not to do until he was sure he could actually give her “something more,” something other than a meaningless four-letter word. Hope.
“You did hit your head, didn’t you?” Ella’s blue eyes tightened on him as she whipped her high ponytail to her back, then quickly shifted her gaze to the envelope.
“What are you doing here so early?” he said as nonchalantly as possible before coughing into his fist while leaning his back against the other workbench, concealing the envelope.
“I’m here to pick up Rory. We’re heading to Savanna’s café. We’ll be baking up a storm for the New Year’s Eve party.” Ella unexpectedly frowned. “Why are you here? Everyone is at the ranch. A.J., Chris, Griffin and—”
“I know. I wasn’t in the mood.”
“Not in the mood to shoot? Just in the mood to destroy your new wall.” Her eyes moved to the open doors. “Or did you know that, um, old friend of yours was going to show up?”
She didn’t believe his story. He didn’t exactly blame her.
“That was an unanticipated visit,” he offered her the truth.
“Okay, Mr. Mysterious. Unexpected visit from a guy in a government-looking vehicle two days before New Year’s Eve with a job offer from a friend that may or may not have served with you in the Army.” She laid the sass on thick that time and added another eye roll for good measure before turning toward the open doors, presumably to escape his “den of lies.” Jesse couldn’t help but grin because that was definitely something Ella would say.
Without thinking, he swiftly reached out and snatched her wrist. He wasn’t ready to lose sight of her crystal blue eyes.
He needed to be reminded there was light at the end of the dark tunnel he’d been walking through for years. And that light was her.
But he felt like he was in one of those weird dreams where he could barely move. Where time stood still, and he was stuck in place, only able to watch her from afar, worried he’d never make it out and to her.
She jerked free of his touch, shaking her head. And he deserved that.
“My mom wants me to invite you to dinner tonight. I almost, um, forgot to ask,” she noted, a hint of hesitation in her voice as if part of her hoped he’d say yes. And the other part of her screamed, Don’t come. “Everyone will be there.”
“That include my parents?” He shifted to the side and thought about the envelope sitting on the workbench.