Rory probably did have a hit list. Not that she would ever kill anyone. But she’d racked up quite a number of enemies over the years during her treasure-hunting escapades that included tangoing with pirates and wildlife traffickers.
Ella removed her jean jacket and draped it over the stool to buy herself some time. “New York.”
“The trip I set you two up on? You mean my plan worked?” Rory was mid fist pump before realization hit, and her elated expression turned into a wince as she slowly sat again. “Obviously, not the way I’d wanted from the sounds of it.”
Stomach bug, my ass. Ella had known that Rory, being the schemer that she was, had planned that entire thing. She’d done her best to throw them together a few times before then, and since then, but every attempt had resulted in failure.
“We made a deal not to tell anyone. But yeah, it happened then. And only then,” Ella admitted, wanting to cross her arms, feeling a bit defensive.
“Wow, okay. And here I thought you two had never even kissed,” Savanna said softly, blinking a few times.
“Uhm, actually, we haven’t kissed.” Ella squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the reactions to come flying. But the café was eerily quiet. She hesitantly opened one eye to see Savanna and Rory sitting there like statues.
A full minute passed in complete silence while Ella stared at the ceiling. Finally, Savanna spoke, “You pulled a Pretty Woman?” She quickly followed up with, “Before you think I’m calling you a prostitute—”
“I thought it’d make things easier if we didn’t kiss on the mouth or”—Ella gulped—“anywhere intimate. It was my idea.”
“Oy.” Rory closed her eyes. “We’re talking about my brother. Not a visual I want burned onto my retinas.”
“Well, I didn’t let him, you know, do that, so.” Ella was stumbling through the conversation she must have had in her head a million times. She always knew she’d eventually tell her best friends what’d happened, but for some insane reason, she’d convinced herself she would share the truth after she and Jesse were finally together.
Not going to happen. Not ever.
“So, you had sex. Like a drunken-oops thing? One time?” Rory asked, drumming her fingers on the table as if deciding whether she would, at the very least, punch her brother if he’d “taken advantage” of a woman under the influence.
“We weren’t drunk. And it was maybe ten times that weekend.”
“Ten?” Rory’s eyes flashed open. “And not since?”
Ella shook her head. “No. It was part of the deal. And he made me promise to move on after that.”
“Okay, first of all,” Savanna started, “this deal you and Jesse made to not tell anyone, you do realize that doesn’t apply to best friends and spouses, right? You, of all people, who send me at least five TikTok videos a day, should know that. I think you’ve even sent me a TikTok saying those exact words. So, you could have told us. You didn’t need to carry this weight by yourself.”
“And secondly,” Rory said as if knowing Savanna’s next line of thought, “pretty sure neither of you moved on.”
“I got engaged a year later,” Ella reminded her, but Rory’s eye roll said it all. Her engagement to Brian the banker had been real, but at the same time, utter bullshit.
Even if Jesse hadn’t stood up at the dress rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding and stormed off, Ella knew in her heart she wouldn’t have been able to go through with it anyway. And when Jesse had learned she’d called off the wedding, he’d come back to town and danced with her on her would-be wedding day.
“But Jesse still didn’t . . .” Ella unleashed her hair from her ponytail only to fix it again. “Every time he’s shown me a shred of hope, he immediately yanks it away. It makes me crazy. And it’s why every other day I feel like . . . like I’m losing my mind.” She drew in a ragged breath and freed it, hoping to get rid of her negative energy along with it. “He keeps breaking my heart. Smashing it into pieces as if he wants me to be damn near as broken as he claims to be,” she said, tears welling in her eyes as she sank onto the stool again.
Her friends reached across the table, each taking one of Ella’s hands between their own. Savanna’s touch was gentle, like a mother comforting her child, while Rory’s grasp was firm and tight. Ella figured she was probably imagining her hand around Jesse’s neck.
“I’m so sorry, and sorry you felt you couldn’t share this with us. I can’t imagine how difficult the last three years have been for you,” Savanna softly said.
“Have you tried talking to him about what happened in New York?” Rory asked, still keeping a firm grip on Ella’s hand. “Or was that part of the deal? Not talk about it with each other either?”
“Part of the deal. Not that I didn’t try to talk to him, but he refused to acknowledge it ever happened,” Ella whispered, worried her tears would escape. And Jesse didn’t deserve her tears.
“He won’t be with you, but he doesn’t want you with anyone else.” Rory released her, leaned back, and tousled her hair. “Now that’s a selfish prick if I’ve ever met one. He is now officially on both my hate list and my hit list.” She let go of her long locks. “That bastard.” She jumped up as if she were on her way to raise hell.
“Don’t,” Ella pleaded. “He’s not worth it.”
Rory stilled. “I don’t understand him or how he could hurt you like this. He should never have touched you knowing . . .”
“It’s my fault. I asked him to. I, um, pretty much threw myself at him.” Ella’s cheeks heated with embarrassment. “The rules were all my idea. Sex. As well as the deal to not talk about it afterward or to tell anyone. All my ideas. It sounds pathetic when I say it, but I wanted him so much. And I know it was a mistake. A horrible mistake, because what if I can’t ever move on? I tried and failed.”
“Jesse shouldn’t have said yes,” Rory quickly replied. “He knew how you felt. He knew that no deal or pact, or whatever you want to call it, would change that. For either of you.”
“All I know is that I’m thirty-five, and I’ve spent most of my life in love with a man who I can’t be with, and somehow, someway, I have to get over him.” She sniffled. “I really do hate him, even though . . .” I still love him.
The lyrics to Maroon 5’s “Beautiful Mistakes” popped into her head as she thought back to that weekend. To the way he peered into her eyes and made her feel . . . well, absolutely everything. It’d been indescribable. And sadly, unforgettable.
“Sweetie, I—” Savanna let go of her words when someone tapped on the glass of the front door. “We’re closed,” she called out.
Ella looked up to see a handsome man in a suit standing there, his head tilted and a determined look on his face despite Savanna’s announcement. “I’m here to see Ella Hawkins. It’s important.”
“Who are you? I need identification.” Rory strode to the door but remained inside the café, her hands planted on her hips.
Ella stepped closer to see who in the world was looking for her and why.