I hold up my hands. “I was just answering her question. I didn’t say, ‘Posey didn’t want me to pay for her room and she likes to support the little man, so while she called every B and B in the county, Glacier Pointe filled up.’”
She turns to face me, narrowing her eyes. “You’re ridiculous. I should make you sleep in your truck.”
“This is a big place, surely we can sleep separately. Hell, I’ll sleep on the table out here if I have to.”
“Okay, settle down. I don’t go to your place and start bickering and embarrassing you.” Grandma Ethel takes Posey’s arm and guides her down the hall.
I follow and look at a bunch of arthritic fingers trying to get condoms down bananas.
“I need a Magnum. I’m not used to working with something so small,” one man calls to the instructor.
“Shut up, Isaac,” a woman calls back. “Try extra small.”
The man raises his cane in the air. “Get some glasses next time.”
“I go on how it feels,” she says with a huff.
Dori puts her arm through mine and guides me down the hallway. “Can you believe they think we don’t know how to use a condom? I only had one son, so suffice it to say I used birth control quite successfully. My son, on the other hand…” She shakes her head. “Nine kids. Maybe I should’ve had a sit-down with him.” She laughs.
“Do you have a place here?” I ask Dori. “Maybe I could stay with you. On the couch, obviously.”
She pats my hand. “I’m sorry, but my grandsons wouldn’t be comfortable with you staying with me.”
“Okay.” Did she think I was asking her out or something?
“Ethel, there’s that one room.” Dori nods in the other direction.
“We’ll just stay with you, Grandma Ethel,” Posey says. “I can take the couch and Gavin can take the floor.” She smiles at me as if she’s proving something.
Did she think I would take the couch away from her? She doesn’t know me at all.
Posey moves to a door that I assume is Grandma Ethel’s place, but Ethel puts herself in front of it. “Sorry, I just had my carpets cleaned.”
Posey steps back. “I’ll take off my shoes.”
“Look at you two. You’re filthy. I’m not a rich woman and I don’t want to pay for the carpet to get cleaned again. Besides, they have to dry overnight.”
Dori keeps nodding at Ethel.
“Then Dori?” Posey swings around to face her.
“I already said my grandsons wouldn’t like a man sleeping in my apartment.” She points at me as if I’m her stalker or something.
“Then can I stay with you and Gavin can stay with one of the male residents?”
I cringe. Is she going to throw me in with Magnum Isaac? No, thank you.
“Sorry, but Ethel’s staying with me,” Dori says. “I don’t have the room.”
Posey throws her hands in the air, tears welling in her eyes. “Seriously? I’m so tired. You’re grandmas and you’re just letting us go back outside where a wild animal could eat us alive?”
Somewhat dramatic, but it’s been a long day, so I get it.
“Oh, sweetie, I just meant you can’t stay with us, but we do have a room for you. Sometimes guests are snuck in and don’t get out before the doors lock for the night so they can’t leave until morning.” Grandma Ethel’s eyes widen. “The helpers don’t know about it, so you’ll have to be quiet.”
Is this gray-haired old biddy talking about booty calls?
“We’ll take anything,” Posey says, sounding relieved.
“Let’s go then. I have to get the key from Olive,” Dori whispers.
We follow Dori back to the cafeteria and she weaves through the tables. She talks to a silver-haired woman who looks around before sliding her hand in her bra and retrieving a key.
“I’m not touching it,” I say to Posey.
“Grow up.” She elbows me and I hold my side.
“What was that for?”
She frowns. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
God, this woman. I chuckle at the fact that she can’t even be that mean to me.
Dori comes back over, but as she reaches us, another woman joins us.
“And you are?” Her name tag says she’s Leeann.
“This is my granddaughter, and you know Gavin Price, right?” Ethel’s voice raises an octave. “Hollywood heartthrob, superstar actor.”
Leeann stares at me as if she’s trying to place me but can’t.
“Blake Michaels,” Posey whispers.
Leeann’s eyes pop open. “Oh man, I heard you were moving up here. High Society, right? You were such a dick.”
“That’s what she said,” a male voice says behind us. No one laughs.
“My character was, yeah.”
“But you were so horrible when you were playing both of those innocent girls.” She leans in. “I always liked you with Samantha. You were a good couple. Is it true that you dated in real life?”
Posey makes a sound of displeasure and I glance over to see her roll her eyes.
“We did, but it was short lived.”
Posey grunts again.
“Why don’t you two sit in with us? I’m sure they’d rather hear the stories from the famous actor rather than me drone on about condoms. Even though you can’t get pregnant, there’s still a need for safe sex.” She says the last sentence louder as if it’s for the residents’ benefit.
“I’m tired,” Posey says, then she flings her arm forward. “Ouch.” She holds her upper arm and looks back at Ethel.
“They’d love to,” Ethel says.
Leeann claps and turns to go back where she was.
“She can’t find out you’re staying here because no one can find out we have the key to the room,” Ethel whispers.
“I’m tired,” Posey whines.
“Suck it up, buttercup,” Dori says and lightly shoves me forward. “Go win the crowd over.”
I look back, but Leeann pats a stool next to her. What warped world am I living in right now?
Posey exaggerates her motions, pulling out a chair and flopping into it.
“This is Gavin Price from the television shows The Carters and High Society. I think you’ve done some films too, right?”
“Nothing that did great,” I mumble. I had some B movies at best. Other than that, I did some teenage movies that will never see the light of day.
One of the men raises his hand. “How much ass you get?”
“Okay, Miles, we’re not going to ask Gavin sexual questions,” Leeann says with censure in her voice.
“Then what’s the point?” He waves her off and shakes his head.
I laugh. “Honestly, it’s probably not what you think.”
“But you’re all good-looking people,” a woman says.
“We also all have our problems. Some aren’t happy in the industry. Some feel pressured to do certain things to propel their careers. Some are pissed they’re getting passed up. Everyone is kind of lost in their own heads. And relationships?” I huff. “How can you have one when you’re on opposite sides of the country most of the time, and even if you’re not, you’re on set for sixteen hours a day?”