It was time to change that vision of herself.
She might be single, but she was not going to be a sad, lonely cat lady.
Well, she’d always have at least one cat. But the other stuff…no. She wasn’t going to be poor Tessa ever again.
And she should have spoken her mind to Sam a long time ago.
Suddenly she was aware that Sam was holding an open jewelry box in front of her. With a diamond ring inside. Sparkly and perfect.
At first glance, she thought it was the ring she’d given back to him. But she was relieved for Marcy’s sake that it was different. Oval, not round. Some pretty baguettes on the side. He’d done a decent job.
At one time, she’d wanted his ring more than anything.
Or at least she’d thought she did.
But now…her only thought was poor Marcy.
“Sam, I have to ask you a question,” she said carefully. Something she’d avoided for way too long.
Maybe because of her fear of not wanting to alienate anyone ever. Because growing up not being able to talk to your next-door neighbors sucked. And going through the rest of your life in the same town as the guy who cheated on you also really sucked. She’d wanted to show everyone she was resilient and mature, that she could handle interacting with him in a civilized way.
But those weren’t really excuses she could use anymore to avoid the truth. Which was that she hadn’t been brave enough to confront him. Or hear the truth herself.
“Okay, sure,” Sam said. “But I bet I know what you’re going to ask. It’s one carat, with a white gold band.”
“The ring is nice, but that’s not what I was going to ask you about.”
She walked to the door and turned the sign from OPEN to CLOSED. Some people on the sidewalk gave her funny looks.
She’d never done that before. But she needed a few minutes.
She sat down at a table and waited until he came and sat, too. Then she took a big breath. “Why did you cheat on me?”
He colored, which she took as a semi-good sign. But she didn’t expect or need him to apologize. She just wanted an answer. “Tessa, that was a dark time,” he said, fidgeting his fingers. “I don’t think we should get into it now, do you? Because of our friendship.”
Tessa sat up in the chair. If she was going to do this, she was going to go all the way. “Sam, we don’t have a friendship. You come in here and ask for advice, and I give it. Plus—you cheated on me. But I need to know—what made you do that?”
Tessa held her breath. She’d guessed his answer to that question a million times. A little overweight. A little plain. A little stuck.
Except there was one difference now. She wasn’t afraid of the answer. She didn’t feel plain and chunky anymore. And she wasn’t stuck. Only…heartbroken. And not heartbroken over him. She’d gotten over Sam a long time ago. It was Leo she couldn’t push out of her head.
Sam grew quiet. Another flush creeped into his cheeks. “Truthfully, Tessa, I felt like you…checked out.”
From the door, there was a series of quick raps. Startled, she stood up, seeing the group of people out on the sidewalk press their faces up against the glass, trying to see in.
“Are you closed for the rest of the day?” a lady with a giant bag from the candle factory gift shop asked through the door.
“I’m sorry. Ten more minutes, and I’ll be right with you.” She flashed ten fingers just to make sure everybody got it.
Her mother would kill her if she knew what she’d just done. But for right now, she needed to put herself first. For once.
She sat down again. Her heart was pounding in her ears. “What do you mean…checked out?”
He fiddled with his ring box. “Of our relationship. I think…I think you weren’t really there for a long time.”
“Of course I was there! And how dare you blame me; you’re the one who cheated.” She’d been so there. After all, she’d stayed in this town for him.
He shrugged. “All I’m saying is that maybe we were headed a certain way for a long time, and everyone we knew saw that, and there was no good way out. So, I found a way out. I’m not saying it was right.”
“Couldn’t you have just asked to break up?” But something was occurring to Tessa. That for years, she’d felt that she would never meet anyone else in this town.
Hadn’t it been easier to accept that she was going to marry Sam and at least have a chance at a life with someone other than Cosette? She could have broken up with him…but she’d stayed.
She’d loved Sam but not the way…not the way she loved Leo.
I love Leo.
And she’d settled for Sam.
“I was always more invested than you were,” Sam said, sounding more honest than he had in a long time. “I had a crush on you since high school. Remember how many years I spent begging you to go out with me?”
Yes, he had. He’d worn her down with asking. That’s why she’d finally gone out with him.
What a terrible way to start a relationship.
But she wasn’t going to let him off the hook. “Sam, you made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Like…like I didn’t deserve something better. You said I didn’t have a passionate nature!”
He sighed. “I was angry. And…things weren’t exciting between us like they were at the beginning.”
Tessa found herself fisting her hands under the table. She saw it all now—and she saw how she let it continue.
“I’m sorry, Tessa. I should have talked to you, not tried to get out of our relationship by cheating on you.”
Tessa looked at Sam. He looked the most sincere she’d seen in ages. And then she smiled. “You just said I’m sorry.”
He rubbed his neck. “Yeah, well, I should have said that a long time ago.”
“I’m glad you said it now. I’m sorry, too. We weren’t right for each other. And…I’m glad you found someone.”
She meant that. She was genuinely happy for him. Besides, Sam hadn’t made her feel bad about herself.
She’d done that all by herself.
And she loved Leo with a certainty she’d never felt with Sam.
Leo challenged her. Shook her up. Saw through her like no one ever had. Let her be who she was.
And she’d ruined things. Driven him away. Though thinking back on the horrible things he’d said…maybe she’d never had him to begin with. Not really.