“Gia, it wasn’t like that.” But the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise. He had lied. To the people he loved the most.
“I was excited about having a sister. Tessa took me to breakfast. I was getting to know her sisters. And I wasn’t excited about it just for me—it was like suddenly the feud was over and we had…family.”
He was an ass. And the fallout from his fake marriage had impacted…well, everyone. But Gia most of all. “I didn’t mean for this to hurt you—or anybody.” Leo took the plate from her and set it on the counter. As he approached his sister, she backed up a step.
She crossed her arms and kept talking. “I was excited about you coming home because I thought we were close. I thought you’d finally start seeing me more like an adult than just a baby sister.”
“You’re right about the lie. It was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
How could he have ever thought that marriage would be simple? How could he make an arrangement as serious as a marriage and believe his feelings wouldn’t get tangled up?
And how could he have believed that his entire family wouldn’t be impacted?
Leo grasped his sister by the arms. “I love you so much, Gia. I hope one day you can forgive me. I looked on it as just business. It was a calculated decision I thought would be easy. Because—”
“Because you’re a Neanderthal as far as women are concerned?”
He rubbed his neck. “Yeah. Exactly.”
As his sister headed for the door, Leo let out a curse. He’d screwed this whole situation up so badly, and it was like a bunch of dominos. They just kept smacking into one another and hitting the ground.
“Gia, don’t leave. Please. Come sit down, okay?”
She looked dubious.
“We have ice cream. Chocolate campfire flavor. Want some?”
Leo did something he hadn’t done for a while: said a prayer. Because he needed his sister to know he loved her. That he was on her side. That he was older and wiser and he did have some wisdom to guide her.
Although not about relationships; that was for sure.
Two minutes later, they were both sitting at the little kitchen table. Turned out that Chocolate campfire was a huge hit. With Gia, anyway.
After a few minutes, he pushed his untouched bowl away. “I want to tell you a story about when you were a baby.”
She glanced up at him over the ice cream, her expression still dubious. “Why?”
“Hear me out, okay? When you were, like, eleven months old, you kept trying to walk. You’d hold on to the seat of one of the kitchen chairs, and you’d take a step, then fall right on your butt. Then you’d do it again and again. Until one time…you finally did it. And not just a step or two. Like, a dozen. You were an amazing baby.” He looked at his nearly grown-up sister and smiled. Because he still saw that little toddler in there. “You put all that determination and energy into everything you do, and I couldn’t be more proud to have you as a sister.”
“That’s nice, Leo,” she said in a flat voice. “But I’m not a baby anymore.”
“My point is, you’re determined, and sometimes you think you have to take everything onto your own shoulders. But everything’s not all on you, Gia. I’m back in town now, and I’m here to stay. Dad’s going to be fine. You’ve been here for him, and now, so am I.”
She was listening but not exactly responding. So he kept going so he could say what he really wanted to say.
“Also, I’m glad you have a plan for your future. You have it more together than any teenager I’ve ever known.”
Her eating slowed.
“I have a million pictures of your first steps. Did you know that? I think they’re all in a shoebox somewhere. I’ll find them.”
He looked his almost-grown-up baby sister in the eye. “There’s only one problem, Gia—maybe your plan is too easy. Because life is better when you take risks. When you’re just a little bit scared. When you don’t have everything all figured out. Don’t let fear stop you from doing things that seem a little scary.”
Like what he’d done. For years, he avoided feelings. And with Tessa, he’d been too afraid to face them. And too afraid to tell her how he really felt.
“I know you’re going to make the decisions that are best for you. But I want to encourage you to push yourself a little. To get out there in the world and do all the things and have all the experiences. But whatever you decide, I want you to know that I’m going to be here supporting you. I just want you to know that now—now it’s your turn to fly.”
Gia picked the polish off a nail. “Leo, I have to tell you something.”
“Sure. Anything. What is it?”
“After I talked to Tessa a few weeks ago, I decided to apply for housing at IU. I think I’ll try it. Could be fun, you know?”
“That’s terrific.” He tried to play it cool. Act unsurprised. And did his best to hide his big exhale of relief.
“I love you, Leo.” She gave him a smile that reminded him a lot of their mom’s. “You’re an okay brother. I know you care about me. Even if your love life is really messed up.”
Ouch. He managed a half smile. “I love you back. And you’re an okay sister.” He sat back from the table and sighed. “I screwed up pretty badly with Tessa.”
“Yes. But it wasn’t all fake, was it?”
“No.”
“Since we’re being honest, I wanted to tell you something too. You remember Aaron? The boy at the Pancake Express? He’s going to IU, too.”
He definitely wasn’t telling his dad that. “Okay, Gigi,” he said, pulling out the pet name he hadn’t used since she was a toddler. “Looks like you’re going to college. And whatever you do, you’re going to be great.” He reached over and gave her a side hug. Then he rolled up his napkin and tossed a walnut at her just to make sure she didn’t forget he was still her annoying brother.
“So, where’s Tessa?” she asked.
“She’s with her sisters somewhere.” Suddenly, the noisy background from the phone call came back to him. The clack-clack-clacking.
This is the Brown Line to the Loop.
He’d been so upset he hadn’t been thinking straight.
They had to be on the L, the elevated train. In Chicago. Her sisters had probably gone with her to look for a place to live.
She didn’t want to take his calls.
But maybe she’d see him in person.