We were bound by that pain. I felt guilty for my own mother’s death. But Allie was completely innocent, whereas I was truly damned for my failure.
I pressed my hand over hers, trapping her anxious fingers over her heart. It beat fast and hard beneath my palm, as though she was under physical strain. Her eyes tightened with some emotion I couldn’t understand.
“I’m sorry I called you a monster, Max,” she breathed. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, you did,” I countered harshly, but I couldn’t bring myself to break contact with her. “And you should. Because it’s true.” It was no longer a powerful enough reason to keep me away from her, but that didn’t change the facts.
She shook her head, her shining hair swaying around her delicate face. “You hurt me, and I lashed out. I don’t know everything you’ve been through, but I knew it would make you hurt too. And I’m sorry for that. You don’t deserve any more pain.”
I deserved to go to hell for what I was doing to her: pulling her into my dangerous world. I should suffer every day for the rest of my life for condemning her. There’d been no going back since the night I’d chosen to kidnap and interrogate her. Even on that dark night, we’d formed a strange and forbidden bond. She’d peered past my twisted, vicious mask and seen the open wound that had never healed after my father had branded me. She made me vulnerable in a way that should terrify me, but I craved more of her sweet trust too keenly to be scared away.
“I don’t deserve you.” The words left my chest on a low rumble, rough with need and a bite of something like regret. But it was too late to go back now. She’d sealed her fate when she’d called me to protect her from Gavin. She’d chosen me over all others to keep her safe.
She’d chosen me, and now she was mine.
“Max, you do—”
I threaded my fingers though her hair and crushed my lips to hers, sealing my claim with a fierce kiss. After tonight, I would possess my Allie in every way.
ALLIE
As soon as Max’s lips collided with mine, the heat that’d been simmering beneath my skin ignited into fiery passion. This maddened chemistry we shared defied all reason, and it obliterated all niggling doubts about how this could work between us. In this moment, I didn’t care about all the obstacles that separated us. I just wanted him. I wanted to surrender to the intoxicating connection we shared and forget about all my worries for a few blissful minutes.
All my fears about my father’s possible Bratva ties and my residual anxiety over Gavin’s aggression faded to nothing. The heavy burdens that’d been weighing on my mind didn’t matter now.
I could lose myself in him. In us.
He thought he didn’t deserve me, but I didn’t care about his darkness or the danger that pulsed around him like a menacing shadow. He would never hurt me. He’d protected me so many times, and that mattered far more than his concerns over his unworthiness.
I’d called him a monster, and my apology wasn’t enough to take it back. My regret cut at my heart like a knife, the edge of pain driving me deeper into his strong arms. If he wouldn’t believe my words, I would show him how I felt about him. With each breathless kiss, I melted into him, giving him everything.
I trust you. You protected me. You’re not a monster.
His mouth firmed on mine, his teeth nipping at my lower lip as the hunger we shared began to overtake us both. My tongue tangled with his, a clash of lust and need. His big hands bracketed my waist, pushing me backward as his bulky body pressed my much smaller frame against the wall. He pinned me in place, but the apprehension I should’ve felt was a pleasurable buzz down my spine. His danger, his strength, was like an electric current dancing over my skin, making my nerves jump and dance. A hot tingle raced over my flesh, and I burned for him.
Heat pooled between my legs, and something needy pulsed at the apex of my thighs. I was coming to recognize the signs of sexual arousal he awoke within me; sensations I’d never experienced with another man. Not even Niko, who was beautiful and alluring enough to set my feminine responses into overdrive.
I shoved the brief thought of the handsome Russian from my mind and increased the ferocity of my kiss. I twined my fingers in Max’s dark curls, drawing him impossibly closer as his mouth molded to mine.
His low groan rolled down into my chest, reverberating through my body in a deep vibration that I felt all the way to my toes. The pulsing between my legs turned to an aching throb, and I mindlessly ground my hips against the hard bulge of his erection. He growled against my tongue, another delicious rumbling sensation that reached my core.
Desperate to ease the ache in my fluttering clit, I wrapped one leg around his hip to draw him closer, the wall at my back aiding my balance. I rubbed myself against his hard length, and he released a sharp hiss.
His big hands left my hair to cup my bottom, lifting me up so that my feet left the floor. I braced my legs around him and clutched at his shoulders, but he easily held me upright with his vastly superior strength. I leaned into him with a moan, allowing him to support me. Trusting him not to let me fall.
The longer he held me, the hotter I became, until the heat rippling beneath the surface of my skin was too much to bear. I hated the clothes that separated us; I needed more contact. I needed him.
But I couldn’t tear at his clothes while my arms were braced around his muscular shoulders.
I drew back just far enough so that I could pant against his mouth, “My bedroom.”
He didn’t need any further direction. His lips crashed back down on mine, and his grip shifted. Suddenly, I was cradled against his chest, but his mouth remained hungry on mine. He kissed me in a frenzy, carrying me to my room with long, sure strides.
I didn’t allow myself to think about why he knew the way to my bedroom: how he’d searched my home on the night he kidnapped and interrogated me.
None of that mattered anymore. If he hadn’t made that reckless choice, I never would’ve met him. And I wouldn’t trade this kiss for anything. I wouldn’t give Max up. I couldn’t. There was no going back.
When we reached my bedroom, he set me down on my feet, barely breaking our kiss. He plundered my mouth, exchanging each ragged breath. His thick fingers fumbled at the tiny buttons on my blouse, and I grasped the hem of his black cotton t-shirt. My fingernails raked over his rippling abs in my haste to strip him. He released a low, guttural sound, and his hands fisted in the silk material of my delicate top. With one powerful jerk of his arms, the tiny buttons ripped free. The sound of smooth faux-pearls popping as they bounced on the floor mirrored the desire crackling along my skin, every inch of my body coming alive for him.
He wrenched the blouse down my arms, and I gasped at the suddenly rough way he was handling me. He’d been so achingly careful with me before, but now desperate need overtook us both. I shoved his shirt up his torso, greedily exploring the hard planes of his muscles as I tried to strip him too. He was too tall for me to push it over his head, but he knew what I wanted. He craved the skin-to-skin contact as keenly as I did, which was made clear when he tossed his shirt aside and immediately wrapped his corded arms around me, holding me close.
The heat of his hard body pulsed over me, fanning the flames of desire that licked at my core. I rocked against his erection again, and he hissed a low curse against my lips. His hand snaked between us, deft fingers finding the button at the front of my pants. The zipper parted, giving him access to my pink cotton panties.