Say my name. The memory of how I’d handled her burst through my mind, yanking me to full awareness. For a few lust-maddened hours, I’d been my old self again. I’d been demanding and in full control during a sexual encounter. I hadn’t touched a woman in more than two years. I’d never imagined that I’d be welcomed into anyone’s bed ever again.
But Allie had surrendered to my darker needs, giving me everything I craved.
No, it hadn’t been like the days before my father had scarred me. It’d been far more intense—I’d been far more intense. Because I was with Allie, and my need to possess her in every way overrode all reason when I had her in my arms.
When I was with her, I forgot my scar. I forgot my ever-present rage and guilt. I deluded myself that I was worthy.
And that scared the shit out of me. I didn’t know how to exist without that rage, without my burning, singular purpose: to bring down Ron Fitzgerald and restore my rightful place in my family.
Allie’s father was my most hated enemy, but she was what I craved with maddened desperation. Possibly more than I craved revenge against her father. More than I desired to restore my own honor and earn my father’s respect.
Abruptly, I released her and rolled away, hastily getting to my feet. I didn’t allow myself to look at her as I jerked on my jeans and boots. I wasn’t sure if I could maintain my sanity if I saw her beautiful body in the morning light.
Fuck. I tugged my hair over my scar, trying to hide the worst of the damage. She’d be able to see me with stark clarity now that the sunlight was filtering through her blinds. I had more scars on my chest and abs: three long, thin slashes from an enemy’s knife. Innocent, sweet Allie would be repulsed by the fact that I’d killed the Russian motherfucker who’d attacked me when I was thirteen. Before I’d made him scream and beg for his miserable life, while my sadistic cousins showed me how to inflict the most agony.
“Wait.” Her voice hitched slightly, giving the demand a beseeching edge. “Will I see you tonight? I want to talk more.”
I ground my teeth. I wanted to see her again more than anything, but talking wasn’t what I wanted to do with her. There was too much complicated shit to work through, and I didn’t want her to know about the darkest parts of my life. She might ask about my mafia family. She might ask about my scars.
A small shudder rolled through my body, and I unconsciously mussed my hair again. The prospect of Allie knowing my deepest shame made my stomach turn. I’d been drunk on my power over her last night, lost in our intoxicating chemistry. I didn’t want her to learn my greatest weakness or my darkest deeds.
The sheets rustled, and I dropped my gaze to the floor, searching for my shirt so that I couldn’t be tempted by the sight of her naked body. I barely managed to tug the cotton material over my head before her gentle heat pulsed against me. Her small hand closed around my clenched fist.
“Don’t go,” she requested softly.
My eyes snapped to hers, focusing on their multifaceted shine to avoid looking at her tempting body. “You have to get ready for work,” I said, biting out the words. I needed her to release me, or I’d lose control again. I’d do something that we might both regret.
Like tossing her back down on the bed and making her scream my name while she came against my tongue. My mouth watered at the prospect of tasting her, of making her whimper and beg for the release that only I could grant her. I would claim her in every way, give her so much pleasure that she’d never so much as think about another man.
She lifted her hand and caressed my face, her fingers sliding over my damaged flesh to thread through my hair. I released a long sigh as the tension unwound from my body at that simple, tender touch. Allie drove me close to madness, but she could also soothe me like nothing else.
The power she held over me should terrify me, but my selfish desire for her was too keen for me to care.
“I…” Her cheeks flushed the prettiest shade of pink, and her long lashes fanned her cheeks as she dropped her gaze in shyness. “Last night was…” She licked her lush lips, and her glittering eyes lifted. Her luminous gaze punched the air from my chest. “I want to see you tonight. I have dinner plans with my friends, but after that, will you come over?”
The slight tension around her mouth and the tentative hope in her tone broke me.
“Yes.” I cupped her nape, and her head dropped back so that I could brush a kiss over her lips: a tender promise. I couldn’t stay away from her any more than I could stop breathing.
Her small hands caressed my chest, not quite pushing me away. “I really do have to get ready for work,” she said huskily, the words laced with regret.
My lips ghosted over her forehead, the only contact I could allow myself without completely losing control. “I’ll see you after.”
With that fierce vow, I tore myself away from her. I could wait a few hours before having her in my arms again. Allie was my new addiction, but I had to be strong enough to resist her when necessary. No matter how badly I wanted to cage her in my arms and keep her in bed with me all day.
Besides, I had work to do. I had to find the evidence I needed to blackmail Ron Fitzgerald, so that I could earn back my birthright. My father had given us all a deadline to impress him: one more week, and I’d be reduced to little more than an errand boy if he opened the books and chose to deny my place in the family.
The prospect awoke a spark of my usual fiery rage. It singed my heart, reminding me of my duty as the too-tight skin around my scar tingled with the memory of my shame.
Never again.
I couldn’t reconcile how I would take down Allie’s father without losing her forever, so I shoved that particular worry from my mind and focused on my mission once again. I drew on my rage like armor, shielding me from her allure.
I didn’t allow myself to look at her when I stepped away, wrenching myself from her influence over all my senses. If I saw her naked body, I wasn’t sure if I’d have the strength to leave.
So, I kept my eyes on the door as I stalked away, ignoring the way her sharp intake of breath knifed through my chest. I’d have her back in my arms soon enough, and I’d soothe away any lingering sting at my abrupt departure. I would make her melt, until she forgot everything but me. She wouldn’t be able to ask any questions about my family or my vendetta against her father if she was too busy screaming my name and begging for release.
I gritted my teeth and stepped outside, the morning sunlight doing little to chase away the chill that’d settled over my skin in the absence of her gentle warmth.
ALLIE
I was about to take my second bite of heavenly lemon cheesecake when my phone chimed in my purse. All thoughts of the delicious dessert and the wonderful Italian meal I’d just shared with my friends were shoved from my mind by a jolt of anticipatory excitement. I should’ve been alarmed at the thrill that made my stomach flip at just the prospect of a text from Max. Despite my awesome besties, I’d been increasingly antsy to finish dinner and return to my dark protector: the possessive, domineering man who’d given me more pleasure than I’d known was possible.
“OMG you’re totally blushing,” Davis noted, closing the small distance between us on the booth seat to peak at my phone. “Is it from Niko Hottie McBillionaire Ivanov?”