Emotion rose within him, and silent tears fell to the earthen floor beneath him. No one wanted him. Not even his family, except Dinah and Benjamin, and his father, who probably thought him dead by now. If he didn’t, he would have sent a delegation to find him. But his brothers’ deceit coupled with his father’s inability to think beyond grief would have caused Joseph to be forgotten.
Rejected. That was the one word that kept playing through his thoughts. His family had rejected him, and now his master had done the same. Even God seemed distant here.
Joseph removed his sandals and lay on the thin mat. Sleep was a long time in coming.
24
HEBRON, 1829 BC
Dinah walked with Benjamin to the sheep fields, sensing the boy’s desire to rush ahead and be on his own. He was on the cusp of manhood at thirteen and loved to care for the animals, but their father had refused to let Benjamin go anywhere unless he or Dinah accompanied him. Dinah knew Benjamin chafed at the restrictions, but she allowed him enough leniencies that he went willingly with her nearby. She didn’t particularly enjoy these treks to find her brothers, but she knew they were close today, so she had said yes when Benjamin begged to go.
“They’re just over that ridge.” He was two steps ahead of Dinah and glanced back so she could hear. “I’m going to run up the hill. Don’t fret over me. I will wait for you.” He paused long enough to see her nod her approval, and then he was out of sight.
A sigh escaped. She understood her father’s need of Benjamin. He had lost everyone else connected to Rachel. His heart had become so bound up with Benjamin since Joseph’s death that she often wondered if he would die if something happened to this son too.
She climbed the ridge and saw Benjamin kneeling beside one of the lambs in Reuben’s care. Reuben walked about, prodding the flock with his staff to remain in the open field. Some were so prone to wander. Like Judah, who had not shown his face or returned home since he left twelve years before.
She really should go to Adullam and search for him, tell him of the things that had gone on in the family since he’d left. Had he married? Did he have sons and daughters? No news had come and gone between them, and she ached for the chance to see him again. Aside from Joseph, Judah had been closest to her. But for all of his promises to send word, none had come, and despite Dinah’s wishes, she couldn’t simply wander off by herself to find him.
The desire to go, however, grew as she watched Benjamin move from one lamb to another, his gaze darting to Reuben now and then.
“Dinah,” Reuben said, coming alongside her. “I wish you would convince our father to let Benjamin come with me. You know I would not allow anything to happen to him. Especially now.”
She shook her head and glanced at Benjamin in the distance. “You know Father would never allow it. You travel too far to find good pastures. Benjamin could be at risk from animals.”
“If he stayed by my side, he would be safe,” Reuben protested, though he did not demand. They both knew his request would never come to pass.
“I think it is best that you teach him when you are close to home,” Dinah said. “Father would not really want Benjamin to grow up knowing nothing about shepherding, but he cannot bear to have the boy too far from his sight.”
Reuben nodded and scratched his beard, his expression filled with regret. “I wish our father trusted me, but I fear he trusts no one but you and our mother.”
Dinah searched Reuben’s face, pondering his expression. Her brother would always bear the mark of having provoked their father by sleeping with Bilhah, but something in his eyes told her his regret had a greater cause. Yet she did not ask him for answers. There was constant strain between all of the brothers, and she didn’t want it to come between her and them as well.
“He seems so happy here,” she said, pointing to Benjamin. “I wish Father would allow him to be the man he is meant to be.”
“Father would die if something happened to the boy.”
“He is almost a man.” Dinah straightened and turned her head at the sound of someone calling in the distance. “Do you hear that?” She faced Reuben, then looked behind him. A servant rushed toward them from the direction of the camp. “Something has happened,” she said, a sudden feeling of dread filling her.
Reuben seemed to sense it as well as Dinah called to Benjamin. He came to her with reluctance and arrived just as the servant did.
“Mistress Dinah,” the young man said. “You must come at once.”
“What has happened? Tell me.” Dinah saw sorrow in the man’s gaze, and her dread grew.
“Your grandfather Isaac. His servant went to bring him food for the morning meal and found that he has gone the way of all the earth. Even now the camp is in mourning, and your father has sent word to his brother Esau. He would like to get word to Judah as well, but he doesn’t know where Judah has gone.”
“Sabba is gone?” she asked. Isaac had lived with them a long time since their return to Hebron.
“Yes, mistress.” The servant waited as if he wanted her to instruct him.
“Tell my father that we will spread the word to his sons and return to camp quickly.” She turned to Reuben as the servant ran off the way he had come. “Go and tell the others to return with the flocks. And find wood to build a bier. Father will want to bury Sabba in the cave of Machpelah before nightfall.” She glanced at Benjamin. “You must come with me to comfort Abba.”
“Will Esau arrive so soon? It is nearly halfway to midday as it is,” Reuben said. But he did not wait for her response as he hurried off to find their brothers.
Dinah and Benjamin half ran to the camp, Dinah’s heart beating with sorrow. They slowed their steps as they arrived to the sound of the women weeping. They reached Isaac’s tent, but the room was already filled with the wives of Jacob and other servants attending to their grandfather’s body.
She looked at Benjamin. “Go to Abba. He needs you.” She looked toward the fire where Jacob sat slumped forward, head in his hands.
She opened the tent flap and pushed her way inside. “I must see him,” she told her mother, who was busy washing Isaac’s limbs.
“You should be with your father,” Leah said, but her tone held no censure.
Dinah knelt at Isaac’s side, staring at his lined face. His white hair hung limp, his cheeks were sunken, and his once pink lips were tinged with blue, all evidence of life gone. A sob rose within her. “Sabba!” She touched his veined hand but recoiled at the cold fingers. She had not touched a dead body since Rachel’s death, for Joseph’s body had never been found.
“He has gone the way of all the earth, my daughter. One hundred and eighty years is a long life, and we should be glad of it. God gave him a good life, even if he could not see.” Leah, always the practical one, gave Dinah a compassionate look. “I know how you loved him. We all did.”
“Perhaps we will meet again one day.” Dinah did not know what happened in the afterlife, but she had always believed that God would not abandon their souls to the grave forever. Perhaps even now Sabba could see again and was reunited with Rebekah, his only love.
“Perhaps,” Leah said, her tone hopeful.