“Is there anything I can do?” Dinah could see that the women had things well in hand, but she could not just stand there and weep.
“You can go and keep watch for Esau and your brothers. Once they arrive, we will make the trip to Machpelah.” Leah turned back to washing Isaac, and Dinah left the tent.
She found her father and Benjamin consoling each other near the campfire. “I’m so sorry, Abba. I know you loved him.” Dinah knelt at her father’s knee and touched his arm. “Will it take Uncle Esau long to get here?”
Jacob patted her hand and then held it. “I have sent my fastest riders to find him. If I know my brother at all, he will not delay.”
She nodded, glancing in the direction of Edom’s mountains. Was that a trail of riders coming in their direction already? “I think they may be coming.”
Jacob stood, using his staff to aid him, and shaded his eyes to look toward the mountains. “Esau is swift. He will be here soon. I had warned him the time was near, so no doubt he was prepared to come.”
Dinah watched the distant road. If only she could also get word to Judah. But how? She couldn’t travel to Adullam or wherever he lived now to search for him. She could send a servant, but would they know where to look? And even if they found him, would he come?
She already knew the answer to that, and a feeling of defeat settled over her. No. Judah had left them with no intention of returning. Twelve years was so long. By now he could have moved even farther from where he first intended to go. And she couldn’t ask it of servants to search high and low. Judah would not be able to make it home by evening for the burial in any case.
Deep sorrow filled her in that moment as she pondered all she had lost. First her innocence. Then Rachel, whom she dearly loved. Then Joseph, whose loss still brought a profound ache to her heart. Then Judah, who left for reasons he would not say. But she knew he was running from some guilt unknown to her.
And now Sabba. She felt the tears spill over her cheeks and did not try to stop them. Life was like this, she told herself, even if she didn’t want to face it. Someday she would be bereft of her mother and father and even more of her brothers. And one day she too would go to the land of Sheol, where she might be reunited with her loved ones.
The realization brought some measure of comfort.
The cave of Machpelah was large enough to bury many family members. The bones of Dinah’s great-grandfather Abraham and great-grandmother Sarah were here, along with her grandmother Rebekah. And now Sabba Isaac would rest in peace beside her.
Dinah looked about and recognized her uncle Esau standing near her father, the two of them speaking softly, while her brothers rolled the stone from the cave’s entrance. She searched the crowd that had gathered, though it was hard to see well in the moonlit dark. Many carried lamps to light the way, but daylight would have made the whole ordeal easier.
She took Benjamin’s hand and squeezed. Their father would not want him to get caught up in the crowd. She peered northwest beyond the trees, hoping to see Judah yet knowing it was an impossible wish. But when she started to look away, a shadow caught her eye. Or was it two people standing near the trees?
Again she searched the crowd, counting off each brother, and realized Reuben was not among those who had rolled away the stone. She lifted her gaze to the tree line again and definitely saw the silhouettes of two men. Silently she begged them to come closer, but they did not move.
Slowly, as her father and uncle said words over Isaac, she pulled Benjamin with her and made her way to the edge of the crowd, close to the trees. And then she saw him.
“Judah!” she whispered.
Judah turned, appearing startled, and Reuben placed a hand on his arm. Was he trying to keep Judah from fleeing again? Dinah hurried closer, not wanting him to slip away. In the darkness, it was hard to see the features of his face. But she knew in her heart, despite the different cut of his beard and the gray hairs near his temples, that this was her brother. She released Benjamin’s hand and threw herself into his arms.
His arms came around her slowly at first, then he held her tight. “Dinah,” he whispered against her ear. “How could you see me from this distance?”
“I hoped you would come. I did not expect Reuben to look for you or know where to look, but I am so glad you are here. Will you see Father before you return?” She lifted her face to read his expression.
Judah held her at arm’s length. “I don’t know. I had only planned to come see Grandfather laid to rest.”
“Father would so love to see you. He has missed you more than you know.” Dinah clutched his arm, afraid he would disappear again before she had any chance to talk to him.
Judah looked at the earth and kicked a few twigs away from where they stood. “I don’t know if I can, Dinah.” He looked at her, then glanced at Benjamin. “Is this little Benjamin? You are a grown man already!”
Benjamin beamed at the praise. “I am thirteen,” he said, standing tall.
“You are older than my son Er. He is twelve. Has Father betrothed you yet?” Judah seemed anxious as he asked the question.
“You know our father would wait until Benjamin is much older,” Dinah said, searching his face. “Is your son already betrothed?” Er was a child, but perhaps the people of Canaan did things differently. They certainly allowed girls to marry far younger than her mother had.
“I betrothed Er to a girl two years ago. When he is fifteen, they will wed.” Judah looked from Reuben to Dinah, then again at Benjamin.
“Father won’t let me go out with the sheep without Dinah near,” Benjamin said. “I am not ready to think of marriage.”
For one so young, he seemed wiser than Judah. Why was Judah so concerned with a bride for a child?
“Please come back to the camp and stay a day or so to talk with Father. It would mean so much to him.” Dinah studied every feature of his face, from his dark brows and eyes to his prominent nose and thick beard. How had they lived so long apart? Oh, Judah, come home!
“Dinah is right, Judah. We all miss you. Your wife and children can survive without you for a few days, can they not? And didn’t you say you have a friend who is caring for your sheep?” Reuben put an arm around Judah, as though he too would not let their brother go.
Judah remained silent for a lengthy breath, looking from one to the other, then glanced in the direction of his home in Canaan. Their father and uncle had finished speaking, and the sound of weeping began again as their brothers rolled the stone in front of the tomb, forever encasing Isaac inside.
“Please, Judah,” Dinah said one more time, but she was quickly losing hope that he would do as she asked.
He faced the crowd below, but their father’s back was to him. “I can’t.” He did not move to leave, but once the crowd turned to go back to the camp, Dinah would have to take Benjamin with them.
“But you only just arrived. Surely you could at least spend the night?” Reuben said.
Judah moved from foot to foot as Dinah glanced at the weeping crowd now retreating. “I can’t,” he said again. “But give Father and Mother my condolences.” He turned and hurried away.
“You knew where to find him?” Dinah asked Reuben.
Reuben nodded. “We have kept in some contact when I’ve taken the sheep in that direction. But it is not often. I did not know about Er’s betrothal.”