“You will figure out what to do,” Talliya said with confidence. “Be strong and courageous, my friend. Perhaps Judah’s god will show favor to you.”
As Tamar slowly walked back the way she had come, she wondered if Judah’s god saw her or even cared what Judah had done to her. Would his god look down upon her and grant her justice? Even if she sought justice, how was she supposed to get it? Men didn’t listen to the concerns of women.
She glanced heavenward, for Judah’s god seemed to live above the heavens. She offered a silent prayer. Will you help me? Do you see me? Will you plead my case with Judah and give my life back to me again?
She heard nothing in response, but she didn’t expect to. Gods didn’t speak to people, did they? She knew very little about Judah’s god, for no one in his camp seemed to speak of him. Only when Er died did she realize Judah believed in a god she had never heard of, but he had not explained him to her.
As her father’s house came into view, she drew in a breath, bracing herself. She set the water jar in its niche and slipped inside to her room, unseen. Suddenly she knew she must act, and quickly. She removed her widow’s clothes and donned clothing she hadn’t worn in two years, then covered herself with a veil so no one could recognize her. She hurried through the halls of the house, avoiding contact with her family, and started out on a trip with no idea where it would lead her.
Judah walked beside Hirah on the road to Timnah, listening to his friend discuss the latest crop yields. Shelah had gone ahead with his servants and the sheep to where they would be shearing.
“Have you noticed how fat the sheep have grown?” Hirah asked as they came closer to a small village some distance from Timnah. “It’s as though the gods have blessed everything on the earth to make them lush and prospering. We will have plenty for years to come, my friend.” He slapped Judah on the back and laughed.
Judah joined the laughter. “We will indeed. I will have to sell more wool than I can keep this year. Of course, I have few needs for new clothes or rugs or even a new tent right now.” A few months ago, that thought would have caused him pain, but now he had resigned himself to being alone.
“If you found a wife for Shelah—or for yourself, my friend—you would have plenty of reasons to need your wool.” Hirah stopped as they neared the village of Enaim. “Or you could find pleasure in the town’s prostitute,” he said, pointing to a young woman veiled in colorful scarves who was sitting at the entrance to the village.
Judah stopped as well and looked at the woman. It was impossible to see her features, but he’d seen shrine prostitutes often dressed this way in other villages throughout Canaan. Suddenly the urge for a woman rose within him, and he looked at Hirah. “Wait for me,” he said and walked toward the woman without a backward glance.
He stopped in front of her. Her eyes were dark, beguiling, and his desire grew. “Come now, let me sleep with you,” he said, surprised at his own boldness.
She searched his face and looked him up and down in a single glance. “And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she asked.
“I’ll send you a young goat from my flock,” he promised.
She appeared to think over his offer, and he attempted not to show his impatience. She could refuse him, but he realized in that moment that he would give her anything she requested.
“Will you give me something as a pledge until you will send it?” she asked at last.
“What pledge should I give you?” he replied.
Again she paused as if thinking. She lifted a hand, and he caught the scent of frankincense. “Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your hand.”
The request was a bold one, and for a brief moment he wondered if doing as she asked was wise. His seal, cord, and staff were his most important possessions. But the scent of her perfume caused his impatience to mount.
“All right,” he said and handed each item to her.
She stood gracefully and led him into a small house that stood at the entrance to the city. It appeared to be a place where guards would sleep when they were not on duty, but no one was there, so perhaps this was also where the shrine prostitutes offered their services.
She led him to the bed without speaking and removed all of her clothes except the veils around her face. It would not have mattered, for he could not see her well in the darkness of the room. But he could feel every part of her, and the smoothness of her skin against his reminded him of how much he missed his wife and the need she had fulfilled in him.
When he finished with her, she dressed quickly, and he did as well. He left by the door he had entered and met Hirah, who waited beneath a tree that lined the road.
“Satisfied?” Hirah asked, smiling.
Judah gave him an ambiguous look. “For now,” he said, though his heart still beat fast. He knew he probably should look for another wife. His father would never approve of him sleeping with prostitutes.
“She’s got my cord, seal, and walking stick,” he said as they continued down the road to Timnah. “When we return from sheepshearing, we need to send her a goat and get them back. Will you do that for me?” He wasn’t sure he could resist sleeping with her again if he went himself.
“I’ll be happy to help a friend,” Hirah said. “Though she exacted a hefty price to wait for a goat.”
“Tell me something I haven’t already considered.” What could he say? That his urges had won out over reason? But they had. And suddenly he felt the heat of shame fill him. He had given up his most important possessions, all for sex with a woman he did not know. How far he had fallen.
A week later, after the sheepshearing and feasting were finished, Judah walked with Hirah along the road home, the sheep following behind him. At the fork in the road where he could take a different route to avoid coming upon Enaim, he stopped. “You’ll go on from here with the goat for me?” He handed the tether he had tied to the goat’s neck to his friend.
“Of course! I said that I would, didn’t I?” Hirah laughed and waved a dismissive hand at Judah. “Go home, my friend. I will have your things to you by nightfall.”
Judah watched him go, relieved to bypass the chance of meeting the woman again. He never should have been so foolish, but there was nothing to be done about it now. He called the sheep to continue on as he led them, with Shelah bringing up the rear of the flock, and at last reached the pens, where he inspected each animal and settled them in for the night. The sheep had eaten their fill earlier in the day along the road, where the grasses were plentiful.
Judah and Shelah reached the camp and were met by Samina and the other servant girls, who offered them food. Shelah followed Samina toward the servants’ tents to eat, leaving Judah alone. It was just as well. Judah was too anxious to be good company even to his son. He sat in the courtyard, dipped the flatbread in the stew, and tried to enjoy the taste. If only he could forget the girl and stop worrying about whether she would return his things.
Footsteps and the jingle of bells on the goat’s tether caught his attention. “There you are,” Hirah called as he approached Judah.
The food turned sour in Judah’s mouth, and he set the bread on the clay plate in front of him.
“She wasn’t there,” Hirah said in explanation. “I asked the men of the village who lived there, ‘Where can I find the shrine prostitute who was sitting beside the road at the entrance to Enaim?’ They told me, ‘We’ve never had a shrine prostitute here.’ I’m sorry, my friend. I can’t imagine where she came from. Unless they were lying to me.”