She hurriedly dressed, managing to keep her stomach calm, hoping that the worst of the sickness had passed. Grabbing the jar from the door, she slipped outside before sunup and walked quickly to the well. She searched the stillness for some sign of her friend, nearly giving up hope. But as the first light of dawn lit the sky, there Talliya was, walking toward the well.
“Tamar?” Talliya rushed closer. “You came at last! I thought I would never see you again. Why have you stayed away? Were you ill? What happened since we last met?”
Tamar laughed softly. “Slow down, Talliya! I cannot answer everything at once.”
Talliya paused for breath. “No, of course you can’t. But you must tell me how it is with you. We heard Judah had gone to Timnah and returned home, but he stays away from the men of the town and pastures his sheep alone with his son and a few servants.”
Tamar set her jar in the dirt and stepped closer to Talliya. “Three months ago, when Judah went to Timnah, I dressed in a robe and veils so he could not see my face except for my eyes. I sat near the village of Enaim and waited. I was not sure how I would confront him, but then he came near with Hirah and stopped to look at me. My heart pounded so hard, I thought he would surely hear it beating. But when he assumed I was a prostitute, as Er once accused me of being, I allowed him to think so. He wanted to sleep with me and offered me a goat for my services.” She laughed. “A goat! As if that was all I am worth. Do you know that was part of the price he paid my father for each year that I was forced to wait for Er to grow up? I’m worth the price of an animal to them, nothing more.”
She frowned at the thought, for it was the first time she had made the connection in her mind. Was she really so worthless? And if so, what would happen to her now?
“Your brow is furrowed, and I read fear in your gaze, my friend.” Talliya touched her arm. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
Tamar looked at her feet, her cheeks heating in shame.
Talliya touched her chin. “Tamar?”
She looked up. “I let him sleep with me, and now I carry his child,” she whispered. “No one else knows, not even my mother. But soon I will not be able to hide it from anyone. And when Judah hears, what will happen to me?”
Talliya’s eyes grew wide, and Tamar read in them the very fear that caused a shudder to run down her spine. “He will not be pleased unless you tell him the child is his,” Talliya said.
Tamar let silence fall between them. “I kept his personal identification items as a pretense to be returned when he brought the goat. Only I went home and did not wait for the goat, so they are still in my room, hidden.”
Talliya brightened. “Then you have nothing to worry about. You have proof the child is his.” She laughed softly. “What worries you then?”
Tamar studied her friend as she heard the town waking to another dawn. “It is the shame I feel, I suppose. He owed me a child by his son Shelah, but I forced his hand. Instead of having the courage to speak to him, I let my father-in-law sleep with me. It is not natural to do such a thing.”
“It is righteous,” Talliya said. “Judah is the one who wronged you, Tamar. You must believe that. He is simply getting what he deserves. And it’s not like you will marry him now or sleep with him again.”
Tamar shuddered visibly now. “No. Not ever! The very thought makes me ill.”
Talliya’s brows drew together. “Was he hurtful to you as Er and Onan were? He seemed better than that.”
Tamar shook her head. “No. He was not hurtful. He did not say anything, really. We made a transaction and fulfilled it. Then he left and I went home. That was all.”
Talliya picked up her jar and tied the rope to it. When she finished, Tamar did the same.
“There is nothing else to do then,” Talliya said. “Judah will hear the news and you will prove your innocence. You need not fear, dear one.”
Tamar’s lip quivered, and she fought the urge to weep. She had grown more emotional of late and knew her fears were not for herself but for the babe growing within her. “You are right, of course. It helps to have shared the news with someone.”
They hugged, ready to part ways.
“You will tell your family soon, yes?” Talliya held the jar on her shoulder, her expression concerned. “Your father can protect you.”
“I’m not sure my father would do so. I belong to Judah’s family. My father has little to do with me.” Only her remaining sister, who was soon to wed, and her mother spoke to her, and that was not often. She was a widow in a house of people and yet felt so very alone.
“The gods go with you, my friend,” Talliya said, turning to hurry back to her house.
“Thank you,” Tamar managed as she slowly trudged the familiar path to her father’s house. Talliya was right. She must tell her mother. She could no longer hide the truth. But she wasn’t sure she was ready to face that fact.
Judah headed to the pens with Shelah to take the sheep to the fields. It was the life of a shepherd, but without his wife and sons, he could never shake the feeling of loss and grief. He’d even caught himself thinking of his father and returning home with Shelah. But how could he possibly show up at his father’s camp without significant offspring, with nothing to show by moving away except for the additional sheep he now owned?
He should find a wife for his son, maybe the servant Samina as Shelah had requested. Perhaps he could have at least one grandchild. Then he would have a small family to show his father—should he care to do so.
A deep sigh escaped, and when he glanced up from inspecting one of the lambs, he was relieved that Shelah was some distance away and had not heard or seen his struggle. “Come on,” he said to the lamb as he led part of the flock out.
As he rounded the bend toward the familiar field, Hirah walked toward him, his stride brisk, his demeanor troubled.
Judah stopped. “What’s wrong, Hirah? You do not usually visit me so early in the day.” He saw the agitation in his friend’s face and felt a sense of foreboding rise within him. “Tell me.”
Hirah placed a hand on Judah’s shoulder and drew in a slow breath. “I have news you are not going to like.” He paused. “Tamar, your daughter-in-law, has acted like a prostitute. And now, because of this, she’s pregnant.”
Judah stared at his friend, his thoughts jumbled. Tamar had acted like a prostitute? She was to wait for Shelah as a widow, but now, of course, he could never give the girl to Shelah as a wife. The thought brought a great sense of relief to him, for he never intended or wanted to bring her back into his family’s presence. Just hearing her name caused his heart to stir with bitterness. But this! She would pay for doing such a thing.
“You are sure?”
“Very sure. The whole town is talking about it, and Yassib said that his wife confirms it. Everyone will look to you as to what to do with her, Judah. What will you do?” Hirah took a step back and studied Judah.
Judah’s face grew hot, and rage bubbled to the surface. “Bring her out, and let her be burned!” he demanded.
“You will send a delegation to her father’s house then?” Hirah nodded his agreement. “This decision is the only thing you can do to save your reputation.”