The words tumbled out, almost as if she didn’t have control of them. Broken and full of so much pain. They did something to the rage inside me. Changed it somehow. Shocked it into submission. “You have to give people time to build different memories of you. The longer you’re here, the easier that’ll be.”
The corner of my mouth quirked up. “Now you’ll remind me of a firefighting badass in muck boots and—” I leaned forward to examine her pajama shorts. “Avocado boxers.”
Her face flushed. “I’m a fan of guacamole.”
“It works for you.” It worked a little too well. Those damn tiny shorts exposed what felt like miles of golden skin. I forced my gaze up to her face.
“I don’t know what to do with you. I want to give you that fresh start, but I keep waiting for the blow you’re going to deal me.”
My fingers tightened around the lip of the step I leaned against. That fear was more than fair. I’d been cruel the first two times I’d come here. “I’m sorry.” The word felt so damn lacking. “I hope with time I can prove to you that I’m not that guy—or that’s not me at my best.”
Everly slumped against the steps. “I understand not always being who you should, who you’re capable of. I’ll try not to have my back up every time you show. I just…after I’ve experienced it once, I’m used to learning to watch for the snap.”
My gut soured at the thought of what’d taught her that lesson. “Appreciate you trying. That’s all I can ask.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear and, as she did, revealed some delicate script there. I couldn’t resist moving her hair out of the way to read the words. Twenty breaths.
I didn’t release my hold on the silky strands, but my gaze locked with hers. “What does it mean?”
“Anyone can be brave for twenty breaths. And in that time, you can do almost anything. Or at least take the first steps you need to get there.”
I didn’t move, just stared at the words. I wanted more. All of it. The whole story. But to get it, I’d have to earn Everly’s trust. And that was an uphill battle.
She ducked away, moving her hair from between my fingers. “It’s just something that’s meaningful to me.”
“Twenty breaths. I like it.”
Officer Williams waved from the front desk. I lifted my travel coffee mug in a halfhearted greeting. “Anything that needs my immediate attention?”
“Nope, but Calder is waiting for you in your office.”
I glanced at my watch. I’d barely had a chance to grab two hours of sleep, but I’d bet Calder hadn’t had any. “Thanks.”
I moved through the main room, trading greetings with officers and deputies, trying my best not to act like a grumpy asshole. Pulling open my door, the smell of something amazing hit me.
Calder looked up from an open box of donuts. “I thought this might help get you through the day.”
“You are officially my favorite friend. Hell, I’ll let you replace Beck as my brother.”
“How is that asshole?”
I eased into my desk chair and plucked up a chocolate old fashioned. “Who knows. I haven’t heard from him in over a month. But that’s not exactly new.”
“Where is he again?”
“Venezuela. They’re getting a few clinics up and running and training the staff.”
Calder set his donut on a napkin. “He’s doing good work.”
“And breaking my mother’s heart.” I didn’t remember the last time Beckett had been home. Maybe at Christmas four years ago for a total of forty-eight hours.
“Julia likes all of her chicks home to roost.”
“But it’ll never happen with him. Too much of a restless spirit.” I took a sip of coffee. “You get word from your investigator yet?”
“He called just as I was dropping off the girls. It’s arson. Not a professional job. If it hadn’t been so damn dry, it might not have spread so quickly.”
“Hell.” I dropped my donut onto a napkin and leaned back in my chair.
“You got some ideas?”
“Her family, to start.” Ian and Allen were at the top of my list.
Calder scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “That girl has more to deal with than anyone should.”
He wasn’t wrong. I looked longingly at my donut. “I’m going to have to take this to go.” I paused, taking in my friend and the dark circles rimming his eyes. “You okay?”
“Fine. Could just use a few more hours of sleep. You know how that goes.”
“Why don’t you let my mom take Birdie and Sage for one of their sleepovers next weekend? She’s always asking for more time with them.”
Calder broke off a piece of his donut but didn’t eat it. “Your mom does more than enough for us already.”
“And she loves every minute of it. You know she’s ready to throttle her kids because she doesn’t have grandchildren yet. You take some of the pressure off.”
He chuckled. “She playing matchmaker again?”
I stood from my chair and wrapped my donut in a napkin. “Thankfully, she hasn’t ambushed me lately, but I know it’s coming.”
“That’s one good thing about my parents moving to Florida. I only have to deal with their in-person meddling a couple of times a year.”
I scowled in his direction. “Rub it in, why don’t you?”
Calder stood to follow me out of the station. “You wouldn’t give up your family for anything.”
I wouldn’t. As many issues as we had, I couldn’t imagine living across the country from them. And it pissed me the hell off that Calder’s folks had up and left when they knew he needed help. But my parents had simply brought him into the fold. He was an honorary Easton now, and he’d eventually learn that being one of us meant someone was always there to help—or meddle.
I gave him a chin lift of farewell as we headed down the department steps. “Grab a nap today.”
He paused. “You taking backup?”
“Not for this.”
“You sure that’s smart? If they had something to do with this, they might not take kindly to you saying as much.”
My back teeth ground together. I’d accused Young of being reckless, and I was about to do the same damn thing. “You might have a point.”
He grinned. “Are you saying I know what I’m talking about?”
“Don’t push it.”
Young pulled into the small parking lot in her cruiser, waving as she stepped out. “Hey, boss. Smoke-eater.”
Calder nodded in her direction. “Donut-pusher. Why don’t you go with Hayes and make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he can’t get out of?”
She turned to me. “Sheriff?”
“Come on, let’s go. Call Mom, Calder.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He waved as he took off down the street.
Young climbed into the passenger side of my SUV. “Where are we going?”
I set my coffee in the cupholder and balanced my donut on my thigh as I started the engine. “We need to pay the Kemper family a visit.”