By the time I reached her, she was shaking again, tears flowing down her cheeks. Instead of saying a single word or going for my mom or Hadley like I should have, I wrapped Everly in my arms.
She seemed stunned for a moment, her body locking, but instead of pushing me away, she collapsed against my chest, the sobs coming louder. The force of them ripped through her and seeped into me, and each one spilled a little more of her pain.
In that moment, I would’ve done anything to stop it. Because this woman didn’t deserve whatever had caused it. I knew that like I knew the sun rose in the east every morning.
I held her tightly, not saying a word. I simply let her release some of whatever she had been holding on to for too long. If the dam needed to break, I could catch the overflow.
Slowly, the sobs quieted, and her shaking softened. The haphazard bun her hair had been wrapped in had fallen free, and I ran a hand over the strands. Her hair often looked a little wild, but the strands felt like silk. “You’re okay.”
“I’m not. I snotted all over someone who doesn’t even like me.”
“We’ve been over this. I like you,” I grunted. I liked her too much.
“I’m surprised you didn’t start yelling at me because my tears surprised you.”
I barked out a laugh. “That’s always a risk.”
Everly tipped back her head, and I saw that her eyes were swollen, and her face was red. But she was still so damn beautiful. The raw truth in her was undeniable. A fierceness only matched by her tightly guarded vulnerability.
She patted at my chest. “I’m sorry. I just—”
“Don’t apologize,” I gritted out.
She straightened in my hold. “Don’t growl at me.”
“I’m not growling.”
“You are—”
I put a finger to her lips. It was a mistake. They were plump and so damn soft. I dropped my hand immediately.
Everly’s mouth opened, closed, and then opened again. “Did you just physically shush me?”
“Sorry. I just—you don’t have to apologize. Sometimes, you just need to let things out. I’m glad I was here.”
She took a step back, moving out of my hold. My fingers twitched as my arms fell to my sides. I wanted to pull her back. Everly looked down at her boots. “Thank you.”
“What brought this on?”
Her gaze lifted, those blue eyes punching right through the walls of my chest. “It…nothing, I—” She stopped herself mid-sentence and shook her head. “I guess you deserve that much for letting me destroy one of your t-shirts.”
I glanced down at my tee. There was a wet patch, and the cotton was stretched in places where her hands had fisted the material. “It’s an old shirt. And it’s hardly ruined.” I lifted my gaze to hers. “Tell me.”
It was a gentle demand, but a mandate, nonetheless. Something inside me clawed to get out. Some need to know what had hurt this woman so deeply. To understand the wounds so I could tread just a bit more carefully, unlike the bull-in-a-China-shop scene I’d pulled in our early meetings.
Everly leaned back against the counter, her fingers curling around the lip of the sink, knuckles bleaching white. “Hadley and Birdie doing cartwheels. It just reminded me of something.”
“Cartwheels?” It was the only thing I managed to get out. Because how in the world did cartwheels lead to pain that I could feel across a room?
“It reminded me of the good and bad. Addie and I used to have handstand contests to see who could balance the longest.”
My sisters had done the same thing. And whoever had won got bragging rights for the rest of the day. “You guys were close growing up?”
“The closest. More like sisters than cousins. Her mom left when she was young, so mine looked after her a lot.”
“Okay…” I let the word hang in the air, a silent request for more.
“One time, I got a little carried away and sent myself flying into one of the fences.”
“Ouch.”
Everly’s mouth curved the barest amount. “It wasn’t pleasant.”
I’d pulled more than one boneheaded move in my childhood. I’d broken a collarbone, my wrist, and sprained my ankle at least three times. I’d lost track of the number of stitches I’d received over the years. “Did you break anything?”
She held out her arm and traced an invisible line along her forearm. “Right here.”
“How long were you in a cast?”
Her jaw worked back and forth as she searched for the words. “I wasn’t.”
“You didn’t have to get a cast?” I was pretty sure every broken bone required one.
“My father wouldn’t let me go to the hospital.”
Everything in me stilled. It was the first time she’d brought him up in front of me. She hadn’t even said his name, and my blood still went cold. “Why not?” I could barely get the words out.
She stared down at her arm as if she could see where the bone had been torn apart. “He didn’t trust doctors. Thought conventional medicine was poison. That they gave you things you didn’t need. Sometimes, he thought it was one of the ways the government tracked people.”
“Did your mom take you?”
Everly’s chin lifted, her eyes so bleak. “No. She couldn’t go against him. Not like that.”
“Fuck that.” I started pacing back and forth across the kitchen, needing to move or I’d explode. “She should’ve left and taken you and your brother with her. What kind of messed-up person stays and puts her children through that?”
“A weak one.”
I stopped and turned slowly back to Everly.
“She was weak. Fallible. Human. She’d used all of her courage to go against her parents’ wishes and marry my father. When it wasn’t what she thought it would be, she had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. She met him when she was nineteen. Barely had a high school diploma. She had Ian when she was only twenty-one—still a baby herself.”
“Calder was only a little older when his twins were born, and he’d do anything for them. How can you just excuse her like that?”
Everly released her hold on the sink. “I’m not excusing it. I’m still furious with her. You don’t think I am? I live with hundreds of memories just like that one. But I choose to try and understand her. Otherwise, all of that anger will eat me alive.”
“That’s why you’re here.” It suddenly made all the sense in the world.
“I have to find a way to make peace with it. With her. With the rest of my family. With this place. This land was in her family for generations. Her grandmother left it to my mom in her will. There was so much good in this place for so long. And I have a chance to make it that again.”
I could practically feel the need clawing at her. “That’s a heavy weight to put on your shoulders.”
Everly looked up, meeting my stare dead-on. “I’ve never fit anywhere. But these mountains? They always accepted me, grounded me. They were my touchstone when I didn’t have anything else.”
Her gaze drifted away from me, moving toward the window and the sprawling landscape outside. “I thought maybe I could find my place in them. Heal some of those hurts—for others and myself. All I know is, I have to try.”