“And I need to do this, so I suggest you start telling me how you feel.”
I groan because this is not going to go my way. I mean, it is a little, but . . . I can’t think and talk while he does . . . oh, God.
Oliver’s hot tongue slides against my clit, and I grip the sheets.
“I want to taste you, Maren. I want to make you come on my tongue, so give us what we both want,” he commands.
“I like you. I like how you make me feel,” I say quickly while I have some of my wits.
He rewards me again with his mouth. Oliver moves back and forth over the bundle of nerves, sending heat all through my veins.
“You’re selfless.”
“Selfless?” he asks and then flicks me again. “I am clearly getting so much more than I bargained for.”
“We both are,” I say before a long moan falls from my lips. God, he’s good at this.
As he licks, sucks, flicks, I keep talking. “You make me feel alive. You give me hope that there is more to love than I thought there was. I want you so much, and I don’t know what to do,” I admit, no longer sure if I’m speaking aloud. My orgasm is building so fast the words are a tumble of incoherence in my brain. “God, Oliver, what is happening? Why do I want you like this? Why do I need you?”
He doesn’t stop, and each second that passes, I’m driven closer to the edge.
“I want you so much. I want this to keep going, and I want you . . . all of you.”
My back lifts off the bed as it becomes too much. My orgasm rockets through me, causing me to call out his name and forcing him to hold my legs down so he doesn’t have to stop.
After what feels like an eternity, the pulsing slows and he crawls up my body, turning my face to his. He reaches over, grabs a condom, and slides it on before returning to me. With his arms braced on either side of my head, his cock pushes toward my entrance. “This is going to complicate things.”
I smile a little. “I think we’ve blurred all the lines already.”
“I think so too.” He pushes into me and freezes. “But this one . . .”
“This one—” I gasp, holding on to him.
“This one I’m going to erase.”
For the next hour, we obliterate every line ever drawn, and I don’t even care.
“That was . . .” Oliver says, staring up at the ceiling.
“Yeah.”
It was so much. It was amazing and beautiful, and now I’m pretty sure I’m going to panic. We had sex. Oliver, my friend from college and my best friend’s ex, and I just had sex.
Not weird. Nope. Not at all. We’re consenting adults who just happen to have done the horizontal tango.
I need my notebook and time to jot down all my pros and cons. I have to think about what it means and why and where and . . . oh, here it comes—the freak out.
“Are you okay?” Oliver asks, turning onto his side to face me.
“I’m good.”
“You’re sure?”
I look him in the eyes and vow to fake being okay until I can work through the options. “I will be. I just need to think.”
“Isn’t that the opposite of what helps?”
I shrug. “For most people, but I generally need to see something from all angles before making a choice. I don’t usually rush into anything.”
His brow lifts. “Really?”
Okay. I deserve that, but the last week and a half is nothing like my normal life.
“I am an analyst. The word alone should tell you what I do.”
“I get that, but where in this did you think through asking me to marry you?”
“Well, while that was a bit rash, I promise I thought through the options, and it seemed like the best path to the desired outcome.”
He grins. “I like this outcome so far.”
“I do too.”
“So, we’re okay?”
I would love to say yes right away but can’t. “Can you hand me that notepad?”
His brows crinkle, but he leans over, grabbing the small notepad and pen from his side table.
“Thank you,” I say. “I need a second.”
Oliver nods slowly. “I’ll wait.”
I think it through quickly, jotting things down in the order they enter my brain.
Feelings. That’s definitely a concern. I feel more than I thought I would, more than I knew was possible. It’s so strange and intense and fast that it scares me. However, I’m able to shut those emotions down. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again.
Sex. That’s a pro because what we just had was fantastic.
Marriage. We’re married, and that’s a pro and a con. Pro because it happened to make others happy. Con because we weren’t supposed to actually be married.
Friendship. That one is tricky. We’re friends, and I’d like to still be friends at the end of this. Not sure where this one falls. More of the outcome.
Honesty. Oliver and I were very clear about being nothing more than some amazing sex for five days, and at the end, we walk away as friends.
I put the paper down and smile at him. “We’re okay. I think us being honest about our expectations made it easier.”
He leans in, pressing his lips to my forehead before pulling me against him. “I’m thinking this is the kind of marriage every couple should have.”
I laugh a little and lift my eyes to meet his. “How is that?”
“Two people who are friends, can talk about things, keep their hearts out of it, trust each other not to hurt the other, and have really fucking great sex.”
I lay my head back down, thinking that it’s exactly what I wrote on that paper. “We definitely have that.”
At least, all but the heart part. That one, I think I’ve lost a little.
Nineteen
MAREN
Oliver and I pried ourselves out of bed to say goodbye to my father and Linda before they headed out, then Ollie stayed downstairs to take care of some work things while I came back to the room to repack our bags for us.
There’s a knock, and I smile, thinking Oliver must’ve left his key.
“Hey, did you . . .” I trail off when I see Devney waiting. “You’re not Oliver.”
“I definitely am not, but why do you look sad about that?”
“Nope, not sad at all. I just thought it was him.”
“We’re heading out in a few. Sean wants to get the kids home in time for them to get a good night’s sleep before we return to life tomorrow.”
I give her a big hug, loving that I had this time with her. “I’m going to miss you.”
Devney smiles. “I’ll miss you.”
“Thank you for everything. I really can’t repay you.”
“Please, it’s what best friends do. While I may not agree with your psychotic breakdown, I do understand it. Seeing your dad yesterday was really special, and I think it’s something that you and him can cherish for the rest of your lives.”
There’s no denying that. Even when my father is gone from this earth, I’ll be able to remember that walk we took, the love in his eyes, and the ease he felt believing I was married.