It’s all a lie, but it’s a good one as far as lies go.
“I know I’ll never forget it. I have so much to fill you in on. But,” I say, remembering the surprise I got last night. “I’ll never forgive you for the repacking job you did.”
She grins. “You’re welcome.”
“I wasn’t thanking you.”
“But you will later.”
“Come in, I need to finish.” I walk back into the room and head to my bag.
“Ahh, you’re packing.”
I purse my lips as I stare at her. “Yeah, about that. Seriously, I don’t know why you thought I would need sexy lingerie for a honeymoon where we had no plans of anything.”
Had being the word of the day here. Now I have plans. Lots of naked plans.
She’s quiet as her eyes start to move around the room, taking in details as they jump from the bags to the bed.
The very rumpled bed with sheets that are barely hanging on and the pillows that have fallen to the floor. The gym shorts on the floor, and Oliver’s shirt thrown over the lamp.
“Maren?”
Crap.
“Yes?”
Her eyes find mine, and she gasps. “Oh my God! You had sex with Oliver!”
“Will you be quiet?” I say quickly as I clamp my hand over her mouth. “The door is wide open.”
She pulls it down. “You did?”
“Yes, but it’s fine.”
“Oh, this I have to hear.” Devney walks over to the couch and hesitates before sitting. “Is this spot safe, or are there questionable body fluids on it?”
“You’re ridiculous.”
She shrugs, choosing not to sit. “I knew this would happen.”
“You knew what?”
“That you’d have sex with him,” she says while shaking her head. “I saw it the second you two were together in front of everyone. Oliver is not that good of a liar. You guys have feelings for each other, and last night . . . was inevitable.”
She’s insane. We are only feeding off the emotions we have been forced to fake.
“That’s not true. But things have changed.”
“How so?”
I sigh. “Well, we had the whole wedding, and afterward, my dad asked to go with us to sign the marriage license.”
“No!” She covers her mouth with her hands.
“Yeah.”
“Did you sign it?”
I nod. “What option did we have?”
“Okay, that’s true. But . . . well, it’s fine if you don’t file it, right?”
“That’s what we think, but Mark is going to look into it just to be sure.”
“You know,” Devney says, taking my hands in hers. “This is kind of brilliant. You signed the papers. Everyone thinks it’s real and you love each other. If you can void the whole thing by conveniently forgetting to file the paperwork, then when you guys decide to”—she lifts her fingers in air quotes—“get divorced, you won’t actually have to do anything. It can be a clean break.”
I never even considered that. “You’re right.”
“I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and Oliver had dirty sex on your wedding night.”
Of all the conversations in the world I thought I’d ever have, this isn’t one. Nothing about this weekend has gone to plan. Having the wedding, the groom, and then this morning has been a complete mind fuck, and I can’t make sense of it yet.
Honestly, I don’t really want to overthink this. I want to enjoy it.
“Maybe not, but we’re both adults, and we’re fully aware that it’s nothing but sex.”
“Oh. Sure. What you should say is that you’ve figured out a way to rationalize the feelings and dismiss them.”
“I am not rationalizing anything.”
She scoffs. “Please. You’re the queen of it. It’s what landed you in this situation to begin with, Mare. You were going to marry the other guy because of your dad, and you rationalized that it was worth it even though you didn’t love your ex. Now, you have the feelings you didn’t have—”
“I don’t!”
“—for the other guy, and you’re again, making excuses.”
“Devney, listen to me,” I say through gritted teeth. “I know what I’m doing.”
“I don’t think you do, and that’s what has you so messed up. Honestly, when it comes to love, we’re all stupid, irrational, and contradictory, just like you’re being. You say you don’t have feelings for him, but here you are, smiling like a fool.”
“I have this under control.”
I don’t. We both know it. I have a million reasons I shouldn’t go with him. I should head home, the office, my father’s house, or anywhere but to Myrtle Beach with Oliver.
“I hope so. I know how amazing Oliver is. We didn’t end things because he wasn’t a great guy or treated me poorly. I actually don’t know many people who are as good or as wonderful as that man. He let me go to give me the life I was too afraid to reach for, and I will always love and respect him for that. Not a day goes by where Sean and I don’t appreciate the gesture, and I really hate the idea that he might get hurt by this. He doesn’t deserve it.”
The last thing I want to do is hurt him.
“I would never hurt Oliver, not after everything he did for me.”
“Then I wish you luck.”
“For what?”
She grins. “For keeping yourself from falling in love with him.” She taps me on the nose and then leaves the room.
We pull up to the house in South Carolina after the five-hour drive from Willow Creek Valley. Our trip was great. We laughed and talked about the funny moments over the week, discussed how to handle things until we figure out the status of our fake marriage, and enjoyed the drive. I loved passing through the small towns and feeling lighter than I have since this whole thing started.
The house is beautiful and sits on the beach just outside Myrtle Beach. It has nine bedrooms, a private pool, and a jacuzzi. Obviously, it’s way more than we need, but it’s free, so I’m not going to complain.
“Should I carry you over the threshold?” Oliver asks.
“If you want me to beat you with your own arms.”
He laughs. “Let’s go in.”
I don’t know why I’ve been standing at this door as though something will change if I go inside. The easy air of friendship we’ve had has been great, but when we walk through those doors, it’s our honeymoon. It’s sex and nothing to distract me from Oliver. I won’t be able to hide behind friends and family.
“Maren?”
I turn, my back against the door. “I don’t want this to stop.”
“What?”
“The way we are now.”
“Okay . . .”
He’s looking at me like I’m crazy again, but I need to get this out.
“I need definitions.”
“For words or something else?”
I drop my gaze to my feet as nerves assault me. “No. For us. I know we said things this morning, but I don’t know . . . I need to know exactly what this is. What we are. What we feel. If I know that, then I can be prepared. I need that, Oliver.”