I clenched my fists and tried to stop myself from crying and could only quietly reply, “I was trying to protect her.”
“What if I told you, that up until this point, even I blamed myself sometimes because I broke her heart?”
I remembered the countless messages that Julian sent and even through text, I could hear the desperation and plea in them. I was aware of his guilt but just like had said, I was busy trying to appease my own and masking it as protecting Amber. “Julian, I…”
“Is that why you rejected me earlier? To give me a taste of my own medicine?” Julian asked, his voice falling into a whisper as his eyes looked at me with pain. “Because I broke so many hearts so you took it upon yourself to let me know what it feels like.”
“That’s not why I did that!” I exclaimed, pushing Amber aside gently as I faced him and I could feel my own hurt slowly coming up. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going on between Julian and I and last night... “Last night was a mistake. I knew better. We both did.”
I’d always wanted to see Julian Hudson look defeated but not like this. “I hope you’re happy.”
“Julian…”
“Get out.”
“Julian, please. I get that you’re mad at me for rejecting you. I get that you’re mad at me for blocking you when you were trying to apologize to Amber but know that…” I couldn’t even finish what I was trying to say because I wasn’t sure if I was making any sense at the moment. “I was just trying to protect her.”
Julian let out a dry and humourless laugh. “And so I’m guessing that the rejection was you trying to protect yourself.”
“That’s not what I meant!”
Julian smirked but the pain was palpable and radiated from him to me. “I guess this is what heartbreak feels like and not once did it occur to me that it’ll be served to me by you, Audrey Finch.”
19
Julian
Audrey hadn’t reported to me for two full days and had Theo fill in her spot for me. There were moments when I wanted to ask Theo about how she was doing but would catch myself before I did. I wasn’t sure if Theo knew what had happened between us but even if he did, he was doing a really good job as an assistant to me than Audrey ever did.
“Isn’t she coming back?” Dylan asked when Theo walked in after bringing Julio from the vet post a check-up. We were in the kitchen and José was still editing the video that we shot two days ago after the argument that Audrey and I had. We already started working on the channel again and since we came back, our views doubled than our previous ones and so did our subscribers.
Theo looked at Dylan when he asked about Audrey, glanced at me and then sighed. “She wants to. But her Dad got admitted to the hospital again the other night and just got out this morning. I think she and Amber are staying at her parents to take care of her Dad for a while since her Mom has something to do in New York.”
“So is that like, a breach of contract?” Dylan wondered, looking at me. “Technically, this is the last week until we sign with them. We are still signing with them, right?”
I pursed my lips and could feel Theo’s gaze on me. He cleared his throat. “Audrey can’t be here because she has to take care of her Dad which is why I’m here, serving as a substitute for the meantime. But then again, the decision lies on Julian since he’s the one who suggested this agreement in the first place.”
Both their gazes fell on me and I gritted my teeth in annoyance. I wasn’t exactly angry at Audrey per se. To be honest, I was a lot more hurt because of how cold and cruel she could be for blocking and erasing me from Amber’s life when she knew all I wanted was to apologize to her best friend. If she read all my messages to Amber, she would know just how much it affected me too.
And yet she had looked at me straight in the eye and still blamed me for what Amber had done to herself.
More than that, the rejection did sting. I’ll admit that I wasn’t used to a girl blatantly rejecting me right after sex because I was usually the one to do so. I never stayed in the morning and although there had been women I would cook breakfast for when I enjoyed the sex, that really never meant anything and I always made it clear with them.
But it was different with Audrey. I wanted…
I wanted to go for it and make it real.
“What are you looking at me for?” I asked, trying to sound gruff and callous.
Theo sighed and then set down the folded the paper bag that had the groceries in. “Julian, please don’t tell me that Audrey became your assistant for nothing if you’re not going to sign with us. She would’ve been here if she could.”
“Are you really sure about that?” I countered. “We got in a fight and it’s not the kind of fight that we usually get into. After knowing that she really hurt me this time, do you honestly think she has the guts to show her face?”
Theo looked at me with a smirk which I have to say surprised me. “You don’t know what Audrey would do if it means getting your band to sign and securing her position in the company that had always been her birthright.”
“Maybe she’s tenacious,” I drawled and shrugged, “but then it also makes her cold-hearted and a bitch.”
Theo pursed his lips and I knew he was biting his tongue from retaliating at me. Dylan cleared his throat and then clasped his hands together and decided to change the topic after he realized the tension in the room. “So I’m assuming that you guys will be busy tonight since it’s Valentine’s Day. I know that Carlos and José wouldn’t be home.”
I completely forgot that it was Valentine’s Day. Normally, if I didn’t have any date, I would just head to a club or party with friends and I would end the day with a hook-up but I wasn’t really in the mood to do so. “I think I’ll have a date with Julio.”
Dylan and Theo both stared at me and Dylan stammered a reply, “Are…are you for real? Julian Hudson isn’t looking for a hook-up on Valentine’s Day?”
I glared at Dylan. “Does it really matter if I have a date or not?”
Dylan’s eyes shined with amusement. “Is that it or is it because the person you want to be your Valentine is also the same person you’re trying to avoid?”
After the argument I had with Audrey and after I had her leave with Amber, it became clear to the boys that I slept with her and that she had pulled my own move at me which amused them to no end. I’d never been rejected and Audrey was the first girl in history that had been the one who made it clear to me that it was just sex and nothing more, that it could never be more.
Before I could counter what Dylan said, my ringtone cut through the silence. I answered the call without even glancing at the name that popped on the screen. “Hello?”
“Thank God you finally answered,” Amber’s voice echoed in my ears and I gritted my teeth in annoyance. Amber didn’t exactly do anything wrong but I hated how she defended Audrey’s wrong actions. I get that they were thick but friends were also meant to scold you when you were wrong and not right the mistake made.
“I think you should’ve gotten the memo when I wasn’t picking up your calls, Am.”