“I’ll join you and I’m sure the girls will too.”
“I love you, Cars.”
“I love you too, Andy, now go before I cry!” I turned and left, and for some reason Memphis followed me. When I got to the kitchen, the girls were decorating with Christmas lights and garlands. My heart grew way bigger than the Grinch’s at the sight of their joy.
Growing up the way I did, I never expected having a family. But somehow, they found me, they found Madden too, and we created something more than blood.
Love.
We were all bonded by it.
“Don’t feel bad,” Memphis sounded out near me. His accent was heavier, filled with emotion. Turning to him, I saw so much wisdom there.
“I’m sorry about your baby girl.” I wanted to hug the sheer amount of grief out of his expression but he nodded.
“Me too, little lassie, but she’s gone and all I can do is be here.”
I went for him then, hugging his big, burly frame. He smelled of whiskey and man, a sad one who needed love. And fuck, I hoped he’d find it.
Chapter Sixty
E Più Ti Penso – Andrea Bocelli & Ariana Grande
Madden
“Reav?” Stony called out. I was sitting in our movie room—which was basically a movie theater—I had my phone in hand, looking at all the pictures of Andy and me.
She’d been adamant about snapping them every time we went somewhere or did anything. It was adorable and I was glad she did because I never thought of shit like this.
“In here,” I answered, landing on this picture of Andy spread wide with a spreader bar. My dick hardened, thinking of how I took her earlier, nearly exhausting us both to death.
Fuck, it never got old. She would forever make my body thrum with need.
As soon as I noticed Carrig and Stony, I exited out of my gallery images. My mind kept traveling to Andy, thinking of her in a wedding dress, how I’d defile her in that same dress.
Fuck, I couldn’t wait to marry her. Something about that last stamp of ownership had me weak. She owned me like I owned her. We were both tatted by each other, for each other, and our last move was making her permanently mine.
“Why are you in the dark? Stony asked, his eyebrow raised. Carrig didn’t seem interested enough to care, like something bothered him, and it made me wonder if these two and Cars figured out what they were doing.
“Wanted to chill. My body’s exhausted.”
“Stop having so much freaky sex and it wouldn’t be an issue,” Cars sounded out by the door. They walked in, head held high. They were free of makeup, their hair all curly and shaggy from growth, and both guys turned to look at them.
It was crazy how the air changed when people around you had feelings for others. This room seemed to ignite and chill simultaneously. Cars came to me, leaning down.
“Hug?” they asked, their eyes meeting mine in question. I respected how they always asked for my consent and didn’t go straight for a hug like they used to. They cared so much about my comfort.
“It’s Christmas, Cars. My gift,” I noted, letting him envelop me. The ick didn’t come, but the itch sizzled a little beneath my skin.
“Merry Christmas, you fucks,” I said to my bandmates but they didn’t look at me when they responded. Their eyes were glued to Cars’s arms hugging me. The pinched expression reminded me of myself when I noticed Andy hugging others.
This would be such a problem in the future.
Bandmates fucking was bad enough. Bandmates fighting for the love of my best friend? That was an entirely new fucking mess.
“We’re excited for the gifts,” Carrig sidetracked, his eyes still stuck on Cars and then on Stony for a moment. I wondered how their dynamic worked. If they all had feelings for each other or if Cars was the conduit for everything and they hated each other.
“You ever going back to Inked in Chaos?” Carrig asked, his eyes finally leaving my best friend’s. I nodded automatically.
“Yeah, Grizz and Noah have managed fine, though, haven’t they?”
“Not bad for once,” he teased, but there was more there.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Not really, just wondering where life is leading us now.”
“Wherever the fuck we want to go,” I mused aloud. Windowless Skies was fully mine and while the band and I decided to play their music on our tours, I didn’t plan on doing anything but memorializing my father. He was who mattered.
“Think we’ll get back to music?” Stony questioned, his eyes not on me at all. His gaze went up and down Cars and then Carrig, but he waited for my response regardless.
“Yeah, think I just need time.”
“Andy joining us?” Memphis asked, walking toward us. I wasn’t sure when he came in, but his eyes were freshly red and I knew this time of year wasn’t easy for him.
“Did y’all want her to?”
They nodded. “Even if she doesn’t want to always do the stage portions, she’s a fucking asset,” Carrig said with a big smile on his face. “Her songs have changed our sound in the best way.”
Stony and Memphis nodded. “Especially Car Rides and Planes Galore. That shit hits so hard,” Memphis said.
“And her vocals,” Stony made a chef’s kiss gesture. “She could easily add to our music or collab. If she wants to, that is.”
“I think it’s a good idea,” Cars commented. “I’d love her to do solo shit too.”
“I have a whole-ass record company, of course, we could do that.”
By the time Andy called for us, my heart pulsated. Adrenaline shot through me as her tiny little smile looked mischievous.
We left the room, talking future plans, the tours, and asking Andy to join us in some aspect. I wanted her to thrive alone, with her own music if she wanted. She didn’t need to be in my shadow at all, her tone and rasp was unique, her music style was versatile, and she was fucking hot.
The thought of millions looking at her with lust made me want to gouge every imaginary eye out and I knew she felt the same when others looked at me.
I didn’t know how she did it.
When we hit the massive living room, where our big-ass tree resided, I noticed everyone gathered. They sat on the couches, all smiles.
Warmth filled me, a tender beat hitting my rib cage as I looked at my entire family together. Sitting over by the tree was Royce. His soft eyes met mine and he smiled. The fact that he came all this way for Andy and me meant the world.
Five months ago, we let him go.
We begged him to find happiness, and he promised to try.
With how he stared at Tays, her eyes flickering to his, I wondered if there was something there. Maybe I was reading into it, but I’d never seen that expression on Royce’s face before.
“Merry Christmas, everyone,” Andy announced, standing to come to me. I held her at my side, kissing her forehead, wanting to absorb the happiness emanating from this room. “You all are our family and we love you so much. For a long time, Madden and I were searching for a home, not realizing we could create our own with the ones we loved.”
She choked up, her little noises as she talked hit my heart where it felt best, right in the center. It swelled with love and adoration, something I never thought I’d have.