She glared into the distance. “He took so much from us. But do you know what the worst of it is?”
I decided it was a rhetorical question and stayed silent. Sure enough, she powered on without waiting for my input.
“While I was in the settlement, there were times when I felt lost. And when I didn’t know what to do, it was Evermund I thought of. I wished I could tell him all about my predicament and ask his advice.” She turned to me. “I missed you, and I worried about you, but in those moments, it never occurred to me to talk it all over with you and ask you for advice.”
“Wow, thanks,” I muttered.
“Exactly!” she said. “Why wasn’t it you I was wishing for? We’re only two years apart, and I’m closer to you than I’ve ever been to anyone. We’ve lived almost our entire lives together, and you understand me better than anyone else still alive. But there was always a wedge between us—one of Father’s making. We were never equals. I had to be the adult, to lead and protect you—all so that one day you could step into the spotlight and save Calista.”
I frowned. “I don’t think I can do that, Airlie. I have no idea how to control so much wild power, let alone to safely get rid of it.”
“You don’t have to do it,” she said firmly. “It’s just another error to lay at Father’s door. He took so much from us, and for what? Just so he could send you out to attempt a task so dangerous it killed his own father? What kind of parent does that?”
“One more obsessed with what our family lost than with the future we could make for ourselves,” I murmured.
She nodded. “In that future, I want to be best friends with you, Cadence. I don’t want to lead you, and—to be honest—I don’t want to follow you, either. I just want to be sisters. Do you think we can do that, despite all the ways Father manipulated us?”
I bit my lip. “I’d like to try. And I’m glad you don’t want to follow me because I have no idea what I’m doing.”
She laughed. “I can help you out there. I rarely knew what I was doing. The trick is looking like you know what you’re doing. It’s remarkable how often everything works out if you start out that way.”
I shook my head. “I can’t believe it. Perfect little Airlie was just pretending all along.”
She grinned. “Well, I wasn’t pretending about everything. I am, for instance, a far superior shot to you.”
“Of course you’d bring that up,” I grumbled. “The one thing I could never do, no matter how hard I tried. And how you loved to rub it in!”
She looked guilty. “Sorry about that. I always knew I was missing the crucial thing Father wanted—the thing you had—even though I didn’t know what it was. I guess I was a little too delighted to be better than you at something.”
“Hearing you talk about it…” I shook my head. “It really is like some sort of fairy story—a childhood totally different from the one I remember. Father really never told you about power mages or about my ability? He didn’t leave any hints as to how, exactly, I was going to save Calista?”
“No. He told me about abilities, but not about the power affinity or about your seed. I was so confused when you were first tested, and they said your ability would be weak. It didn’t make any sense. I think…I think I wasn’t the only one who got used to keeping secrets. I think Father didn’t know how to fully trust either of us. He certainly thought that if you knew the truth about seeds and abilities and your own strength, that you would run away at the first opportunity and get the first person you could find to activate you.”
“I did used to be the adventurous one,” I said with a sigh. “It seems like a long time ago.”
“Do you want to go back to being that person?” she asked me.
I frowned, considering the matter. Did I?
“Yes and no?” I sighed. “I guess I don’t know myself, fully. I like being useful and helping people, but I’ll admit I’m relieved to have you back. I suppose…” I looked at her sideways.
“You want to go to the nomad lands with Zeke, don’t you?” she said in a quiet voice.
“I’m not going to leave you,” I said quickly. “I only just got you back. And what sort of sister would I be to dump all that responsibility on you after I hated having to carry it by myself for so long?”
“I’m not saying I want you to go tomorrow,” she said slowly, “but you can’t stay here forever just because of me. If you want to travel and explore, I want that for you, too. And you need a chance to learn how to use your ability properly. Can you do that here?”
I frowned. “I’m not sure I can do that in the nomad lands either. Renley might actually be my best hope. I know he’s not activated yet, but he must have learned something from his parents and friends.” I looked at her. “But what about you, Airlie? I spent a week traveling along the coast, you know. When do you get to see the ocean?”
Something flashed across her face too fast for me to catch before she shrugged.
“I’m sure I’ll get my chance. In truth, I’m ready to be settled here for a while. I’m not certain you need me anymore—not like you used to—and that’s not as freeing as I expected it would be. I guess I don’t want to be released from all responsibility like I thought I did.”
I slipped an arm around her shoulders. “No, you just need the freedom to decide for yourself which responsibilities you want to take on, instead of having them forced on you.”
She looked at me in surprise. “Yes. That’s exactly it. When did you get so wise?”
I grinned. “It was while you were gone, and I was pretending to be you. So I guess you’re right, and the pretending does work.”
She slipped her arm around me as well. “All this thinking about the future, but the first thing we’re doing tomorrow morning is visiting Hayes. I don’t care what we tell him, but he’s examining you and fixing up anything he can. Surely it’s possible to heal whatever damage has already been done.”
“Yes, Airlie,” I said meekly, making her chuckle.
“Thank you again for rescuing me,” she said. “Even if that was history’s most foolish rescue attempt.”
I snorted, unable to dispute the point. Without Airlie’s assistance, the whole thing would have been worse than a disaster.
“You must be so relieved to be free,” I said.
“I’m more relieved to have my ability back. I feel like I’ve been blind or deaf this whole time, missing a crucial sense I’d come to rely on.”
I shuddered. “I can’t imagine life without my ability these days.”
She nodded, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere. After a moment she asked, “What do you think King Marius is going to do about the raiders?”
“Zeke thinks he’ll set up ambushes anywhere they’re likely to come across the border. It will be a siege of sorts.”
“I suppose the Tartorans can’t safely get a force across into Calista,” she said slowly. “The king doesn’t have anyone with a power affinity except you—and he probably doesn’t even know that’s what he needs to be safe, let alone that you’re a power mage.”