Elliot sucked in air through his teeth. “Is she really that smitten?”
“Elliot,” I responded sternly, “listen, I’m trying to get her interested in someone else, but she’s stubborn.”
“Family trait,” he said. “And you’re trying to get her interested in someone else, huh?”
“With Klara vying for your attention and Carina in her cross hairs? Absolutely.” He was fishing again for my feelings, and I refused to lay everything out for him.
“Being rich and eligible is exhausting.”
“If only you could see how hard I’m rolling my eyes right now.”
The timer began to beep in our earpieces and the tethers pulled taut, the ship already reeling us in.
“Goodbye, terrifying yet beautiful vacuum of space,” I said with one last turn toward the stars before we crossed the airlock threshold.
“You are nothing if not a contradiction,” Elliot mused as we bobbed up toward the ceiling. I hooked an arm around a protruding handlebar, managing to drag myself closer to the floor so that when the outer airlock door finally shuttled closed and gravity returned to the room, the shock of impact wasn’t too bad. Elliot, however, wasn’t quick enough, and he fell to the floor with an undignified grunt.
“Why a contradiction?” I asked breezily, suppressing a laugh. My helmet came off with a twist, and I sucked in several pulls of fresh air. Well, fresher inside our spaceship than inside the spacesuit. Not a complete monster, I offered Elliot a hand to get to his feet.
“Why did you go on a space walk if it terrifies you?”
I knew that “Spite” wasn’t a great answer, so I shrugged. “It was too beautiful to miss.”
Several contortions, and I still couldn’t quite grasp the end of the suit zipper. I swiveled once, twice, like a wavering top, until on my third go-round I caught Elliot staring at me. “What?”
He snapped out of his reverie. “Let me help you with that. Then you can do me. Help me out of my suit, I mean.”
I nodded, because of course, yes, we should help each other; that was normal. Elliot and I were normal. Except that we most decidedly were not. Suddenly the air was thick with the awareness of each other’s bodies as we shed our spacesuits one at a time, moving slowly, like an awkward pair of lovers. Which we were, once. Though I was fully clothed, I felt naked. Elliot refused to look me in the eyes. What had gotten into him?
“We should return these to the maintenance hold,” I said once we’d fully unsuited ourselves. Elliot nodded and followed without a word as I led us out of the airlock and back to the storage room. We stowed the suits where we’d found them and made our way back to the lift. The bridge was empty as we passed, I noted. Captain Lind, whatever she was up to, had retired for the night.
“I hope Evgenia’s all right,” I said, attempting neutral conversation as we walked.
“Evgenia?”
“Yeah, she’s sick?”
“Oh, right. Maybe take her to the med bay?”
We drifted into opposite corners of the lift once it arrived. After thirty seconds of going nowhere, it became obvious that neither of us had hit the button. Nervous laugher bubbled between us, and we each deferred to the other to do the honors. Finally, I gave up on awkward politeness and did it myself. What was wrong with us?
The silent but happily short lift ride didn’t provide any answers—Elliot pointedly studied the floor, then the walls as we walked the rest of the way to the royal quarters. As soon as we went inside, Elliot was back on form, placating a snippy Klara, who pouted at him for abandoning her. My cousin waved me in the direction of my family’s apartment when I inquired as to Evgenia’s status, so I left them behind. Elliot didn’t seem very worried about her, oddly.
I found our quarters quiet but for the sound of retching coming from the en suite bathroom my sister and I shared. I popped my head into the bedroom to find Carina sitting on her bed, staring worriedly at the closed bathroom door.
“She didn’t want me in there,” Carina explained. “And I told her she could have your bed . . .”
“Yes, good thinking,” I said, wanting to be annoyed. But I had to applaud her thoughtfulness—my bed was nearest the bathroom door. “I’ll kip on the couch.”
“You’re leaving me with her?”
“I’ll be in the next room, twenty feet away.”
Carina worried her bottom lip. “What if she gets worse?”
“Then wake me, and I’ll take her to the med bay.”
“Klara said they were closed,” Evgenia croaked, appearing in the bathroom door. Her usually porcelain-perfect skin was red and blotchy. “She said we could go in the morning.”
I rolled my eyes. “Klara knows as well as I do that the doctor can be reached at any and all hours for emergencies. Dr. Jensen just loathes being woken up in the middle of the night. It’s not even that late yet. I can call him and have him come here.”
“No, no.” Evgenia shuffled over to my bed with a hand clutching her stomach. “I’m okay for now. I’ll ride it out tonight, and we can go to the med bay in the morning. I don’t want to make a fuss.” She collapsed onto my bed but stopped herself short of lying down. “Wait. I can’t take your bed. Sorry.” Her attempts to heave herself back up onto her feet were sad, to say the least.
“I insist. Just last night, you hosted me. It’s my turn.”
“Yeah, but I made you sleep on the floor.”
We both laughed, hers quickly turning into a groan. Then Evgenia curled into a ball on top of the covers. I threw a duvet over her and grabbed a spare for myself, plus a pillow, from the closet.
I considered heading back out to the royal quarters, to disrupt Klara and Elliot’s flirting time, but caught myself. After how awkwardly the space walk with Elliot had ended, I would be a masochist to subject myself to being the third wheel, the interloper, in whatever conversation they were having. At this point, I wasn’t sure if it would ever be okay between Elliot and me again. Every time I thought we’d fallen back into an old, familiar rhythm, something would knock us off-track.
No, I would sleep, recharge my body and my mind from an emotionally exhausting twenty-four hours. I needed to get up early anyway to check on Evgenia. Med bay opened at seven, and despite the flicker of responsibility Carina had displayed, I knew that if anyone would be sacrificing a lie-in tomorrow morning for the sake of our friend, it would be me.
I closed my eyes and thought of stars. Swimming in them, pushing aside the terror to find the calm. Recalled floating, the steady pressure of the tether. The calm that came from knowing Elliot was there by my side. Try as I might to banish him from my mind while awake, now I was on the edge of dreams. And in my dreams, Elliot could stay.
Fifteen
My traitorous body dutifully awoke me at six a.m. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and padded over to my bedroom to peek inside. Evgenia was still curled up under the covers. I hadn’t heard any retching in the night. Maybe she was better.
I veered over to the recess kitchen, where I discovered our coffee stores frustratingly bare. I had given my father one job—to keep us stocked in his precious coffee—and he couldn’t even manage it. I’d have to venture out into the greater royal quarters to snag some from their kitchen. Briefly I debated getting dressed, but at six a.m., who would I possibly run into? Maybe one of the servants, but I didn’t think they would judge me in my pajamas. At least I was in proper clothes this morning. A simple pants-and-top set, it covered all my essential bits.