“I know it is. I love you for it. We have so many other things to focus on instead of my sleep.”
“We have that large foundation meeting next week. I think the West Coast players will be via video. I have next fiscal year’s planning starting on Monday. I also got an email from my mother. She is organizing an anniversary celebration for Gran and Pops.”
“I love it. How many years have they been married? I don’t think I’ve asked.”
“This will be fifty-two years. Can you imagine that?”
“I think about all the things they’ve seen and done together. It’s incredible. Just think, everything in these walls, the house, everything is because of them. Wow.”
“I do. I think about it every time I see them. I’ve always wanted what they have, a partner. Not just in love, but in life. They are each other’s partner in crime. I have a feeling there has been some shady goings on for them.” I laugh.
“If that’s the case, good for them. Now I know what to expect fifty years from now.”
I know for her that was an offhanded comment. For me, it means the world. “I love what you just said. You’re planning on fifty years. You’re planning our life like that.”
“Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Viper, I didn’t mean it like that.” I set my bowl down on the table. “Victoria stopped talking about the future right after the honeymoon, unless it had to do with her work. I know that comparison is the thief of joy. I just need you to hear me out.
“Every time you tell me you’re at least considering something or looking to five, ten, even fifty years from now, that gives me hope for all the topics you’re not ready to look at. Dreams that I’ve had since I was old enough to know what they truly meant are still on the table. That makes me beyond content.”
“Wow. Not where my aim was. I’ll take it.” She leans in and kisses me. “This passion of yours is certainly infectious.”
“I can see that. Skye told me you’re leading two other campaigns besides your daily work, the foundation, Jill, and your personal time. I don’t want you to burn out.”
“I’ll tell you or her if it’s too much. Look, Eli, you don’t have to keep proving yourself over and over again. Your reputation is solid. For me, I have to work twice as hard because I’m your wife. They have to see I’ve got it instead of assume I’m here because of you.”
“Dylan, you know that’s not true.”
“Of course I do. Just look at Elyse. Do you think she’s the only one of her kind out there? I know for a fact she’s not. I have to be better prepared than everyone. I will promise you if it becomes too much, you’ll know, and Skye will know. Do you trust me?”
“You know I do.”
“Then let me be the Sawyer I know I can be.”
Dylan
This day has gone by in a blur. I am just packing up to leave the studio for a late dinner with Eli at home when Jill pops her head in.
“I thought I heard you in here rehearsing.”
“I hope you don’t mind. I had a little energy left after our planning session and used the room.”
“Of course not. What would they be used for if not for studio time? Were you working an old piece or trying something new?”
“The music is a cut I’ve used before, but I wanted to try and reinvent how I saw it. I used it for my senior show.”
“Ah, yes. I thought I recognized it. Your group piece, right? I really enjoyed the symbolism in it.”
“Tell me what you saw. I’d like to see if it was how I had it in my head.”
“The way you designed it instantly made me focus on you. I think it could have been read one of a couple of ways. You were either trying to draw the group to you or you were showcasing how alone you were feeling.”
Wow. Not that I should be, but I’m stunned she took the time to even consider it. “Honestly, it was both for me. At the time, I was trying to lead this passionate group of dancers through adversity and make it the best audition piece I could. Also, I did feel alone at the time. Eli and I had just started seeing each other. I liked how he looked at me and my dreams. We couldn’t really be public with our relationship in the beginning, so sometimes that was hard for both of us.”
I can tell she’s processing everything I’ve said and the more we get to know each other, the more I see her not only as someone to admire, but she’s also becoming a true mentor and model for dance and life.
“How does the music feel to you now? Where are your instincts leading?”
She asks the question I’ve been pondering myself for about an hour. “Now I sort of see it as a slow rise to, I don’t know, a freedom? I’m now a wife. I’m no longer a student, at least in the scholastic sense. I’m so different than I was before. I’m still the same too. Maybe I’m looking at it with a new sense of passion, pride, and like a phoenix to the new chapter in my life. It felt sad before. Now it’s sort of a triumph. Does that sound weird?”
Jill comes in closer from the hallway and sets her bag down next to the short row of chairs in front of the mirrors. “You’re asking the wrong person about weird.” She smiles. “If you want to know what I think, I feel like it’s more mature. That happens over time. Your dancing and your choreography will change the more life you experience. It’s a different lens. That means you’re growing. I don’t see it as anything but positive. Would you like me to watch what you have?”
“Really? I don’t want to keep you.”
“Dylan, you’re not keeping me. Start whenever you’re ready.”
***
I’m sprinting up the hallway toward our apartment when I nearly run into Eli as he’s chatting with Lauren in her doorway. “Look who’s here. I feel like we never see each other anymore.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Let’s look at dinner next week. I’ll cook.”
“Looks like someone had a great afternoon.”
“Oh my God, Goose. It was the absolute best!”
I can feel my husband’s eyes follow me as I pirouette past them to our door. Eli chuckles. “On that note, I’ll talk to you later.” I toss my bag into the overstuffed chair and plop down on the couch in a post amazement haze. “Okay, Dylan. I usually see that goofy face after only one thing. I know you weren’t here, so what is my competition?”
I laugh and pat the seat next to me. “Jill. Eli, I had an hour private lesson from her after my hour on the floor solo. My feet are killing me, my back aches, but I can tell you it was one-hundred-percent worth it. She heard me rehearsing and came to say hi. We started talking about the piece. Remember the music I used in the senior show?”
“I’ll never forget it. It’s on my Dylan playlist.”
I lean over and give him a soft, slow kiss. “What was that for?”