I smile at her. She’s stood so tall this week. “Good. My senses are working right. I need to say a few things before we go up there. The first thing I want to say is I love you. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of saying it.”
“Good, because I’ll never tire of hearing it.”
“It’s been so hard to get here, harder than I ever imagined. Every difficult thing has been so worth it. When you left, I had more time than I wanted to think. I did a back in time thing in my head. I thought about all the time we’ve spent together. I like that I can go back to one time when you were seven and I pushed you on the tire swing on the big oak. I like that I was around when you went to your first dance.
“I got to see you graduate from high school and now from college. You, for the most part, have always been by my side, one way or another. You’ve had this insane ability your whole life to ride next to me whether it was in pigtails or a bridesmaid gown. I feel like the luckiest idiot in the world that you said yes. I think it’s past time you have an outward symbol of my commitment to you.”
Hayley
With every word I sit up straighter. I love the smart-ass side of my man, but the knight in shining armor thing is even better. I watch as he pulls a very worn ring box from his pocket. I think I recognize it. Then when he opens it, I’m sure I do.
“Hayley Evelyn Sawyer, I’m sure you recognize this ring. I had a private chat with Evie earlier this week. This is the diamond Pops proposed to her with. I had it put in a new setting. Just so I can hear it again… just so I can make sure you haven’t changed your mind. Will you marry me, Merlin?”
I saw this ring inside my grandmother’s jewelry box my entire life. The elegant princess cut is now magnified by the stunning halo setting in rose gold. There are so many diamonds around the center stone and down the channels. I’d swear there is one for every year I’ve been alive.
I reach across and gently lay my hand in his. My fingers tremble as he slides the ring gently to the root. It shimmers and sparkles on my skin, just above where my sweater sits. The size couldn’t be more perfect.
“Hayley? Aren’t you going to say something?”
I give him my softest smile. “Yes. My answer will never change. Oh my God, Wes. This ring is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It’s everything I didn’t know I wanted. I love you so much. Thank you. This is what I needed.” I take a deep breath and force the tears back that are just below the surface. “Whew, okay. I need you to know that today and going forward will be fine. We’ve come so far in just the last few days. This is just a formality. We’ve got this.”
***
We’ve got this.
I keep chanting it over and over in my head the entire ride up in the elevator. I keep going over simple facts in my head. I know she is beautiful. I know she will be very pregnant. I know she is the mother of his first child. I am his fiancée. I am the one he loves. All of these are important, and obvious, statements. They will help keep me centered and focused on what is really important.
Wes takes my hand, leading me down the hallway toward the end. I stand shoulder to shoulder with him. He barely knocks, the door opens, and Hannah and I are finally face-to-face. She’s more beautiful than I thought she’d be. Her thick wavy red hair is pulled back into a messy bun on top of her head. She’s casual in a pair of leggings and a Harvard sweatshirt that doesn’t do a very good job of hiding her belly, not that it was the intent.
“Hey, Han.”
“Hey. Come in.” Wes guides me at my back inside the small entryway made only smaller by Hannah’s belly.
“Hi, Hannah. I’m Hayley. I’m glad we could finally meet.”
“Yeah. Me too. Long time coming. I’ve got some tea on. Would you like some? It’s chamomile. I’ve been a little strung out lately, so my mom suggested it. Wes. There’s a beer or two in the back of the refrigerator if you want it.”
“No thanks. I’ll stick with water today. I don’t think I should put an IPA in the mix.”
Wes kisses my temple before walking into the living room. “Here, Hannah, let me help you.” I take the tray from her and follow behind into the living room. There are two seats on the couch and one in a nearby chair. Wes is already occupying it. I set the tray down on the table in front of us.
The air in the apartment is heavy and awkward. I can tell by the way Wes is bouncing his knee subtly that this is going to be up to me to lead. “How are you feeling, Hannah?”
“Pretty good, all things considering. I’m not sleeping much right now, and my back has had it. To be honest, I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore. I suppose that sounds selfish to you.”
“No. Actually I think that sounds honest. Look, I know this scenario isn’t easy for any of us. I just want you to know where I stand. If you don’t mind?”
“God, no. I want to know. I’ve wanted to know for a while,” she responds.
Wes shifts forward in his chair with his hands folded between his legs. He looks like he doesn’t know what I’m about to say. He should though. “Wes and I have sorted through a lot personally in the last week. It’s honestly felt like a year.” We both nearly chuckle as I continue to talk to her. “I’ve moved back in with him in his new place. Things will settle over time. We’re also going to be planning a wedding.”
“Oh. Wow. Shit. Congratulations. I guess I didn’t expect that, considering where things were left when we spoke last.” Hannah looks around me to Wes, honestly, I do too. With both of us looking to him, he knows he finally has to engage.
“Yeah. When I left here the last time, I went right to Hayley at her parents’. To make a long story short, I knew it was right. I asked and she accepted. I hope she won’t regret it.”
“I’m really happy for you both. I don’t want to be the cause of any tension between you two. I…Wes told you everything about our last conversation?”
I take a deep audible breath before I continue, “Yes. He told me about the kiss. I don’t like it, but I understand how it happened. I just need it to be clear that it won’t happen again.”
“No. It won’t. I’m sorry that it did to begin with. Wow. This is more awkward than I imagined it would be.”
I sit up a little straighter and take a sip of my tea. “It doesn’t have to be. We can be a team, if that’s what you want. I know that’s what Wes and I want.”
He reaches across to lay his hand on my knee. “She’s right. I know you haven’t seen it, but she and I are solid. We want to support you and each other in any way possible. When we’re married, hell even before, Hayley will be a mother figure to our child. I want, we want to all be on the same page. There isn’t any reason for bullshit. That won’t be good for any of us, especially the kid.”
“I had nearly this same conversation with my mother and my best friend. I was going to have her be here too, but she had to fly home to Georgia to be with her family, kind of last minute. After my mother leaves, she’s going to be my backup. I’d like her near the delivery room if possible.”