Marcus lets out a heavy sigh, his heart out on his sleeve for the world to see. His gaze lingers on the coffin and the brave man I’d seen downstairs is a complete stranger to the man I see now. “Sorry, Mom,” he murmurs. “It’s time.”
He spreads a blanket out on the floor as Roman steps around him, moving toward the side of the coffin. All three of them look sick with what they have to do, but without them, their mom would be doomed to rot in this frozen casket until the end of time.
Levi steps around the opposite side of the blanket before moving into Roman’s side, and I keep out of their way, wanting to give them the privacy to do this themselves. I’d offered to stay down in the car or chill out in the living room while they took care of business, but Levi wanted me here.
Roman’s fingers curl around the side of the frozen casket and linger on the hinges for a short moment, knowing that once they crack that seal, there’s no turning back. He mutters something to Levi, so quiet that I don’t hear them from across the room, but whatever it is has Levi letting out a pained breath before finally nodding.
Roman pulls on the hinges and strains against them, the frozen glass working against him as Marcus moves into his other side. The hinges finally come free with a deep crack and the glass top of the casket slowly begins to rise.
Marcus puts his hand on the lid, helping it along, and when it finally opens all the way, the three of them just stare. “She looks just as I remembered,” Roman murmurs, a soft smile playing on his warm lips. “A little rough around the edges, but she still holds that subtle softness.”
Marcus scoffs. “You’d be a little rough around the edges if you were frozen solid too.”
Roman gapes at his younger brother as Levi’s eyes bulge out of his head, struggling to hold onto a laugh. His lips press down into a tight line, but the laugh is too strong and comes tearing out of him. Levi tries to choke it back down, desperately trying to swallow the booming roar but there’s absolutely no hope.
A grin pulls at the corners of my lips as Marcus smirks at his brother, pleased to have at least one person find humor in this dark moment.
As Roman stares at Levi struggling to control himself, his lips strain against his will, pulling at the corners. “Do you find this funny?” he demands.
“No, no,” Levi says, shaking his hands while trying to rein it all in. “Not at all, but apparently you do.”
Roman glares at his brother, his lips instantly settling back into their usual tight line, not pleased to have been called out for almost breaking down his carefully structured walls. “Let’s just get this done.”
A newfound seriousness comes over them as Roman reaches down to his dead mother’s decaying body. Marcus hovers close by as Levi seems to take a hesitant step back, horror deep in his eyes. The boys have lugged a million dead bodies around the streets of the city and have never had an issue, but this one is different. This one hits home.
Roman’s arms slip under her body, and as he goes to lift her out of the coffin, Marcus scoops in beneath him. “Careful of her head,” he rushes out, cradling her head as though it’s the most precious jewel in the world. His hands become knotted into her matted hair as Roman holds her close to his chest.
The two of them carefully step back together, terrified of disturbing her fragile body before slowly lowering her down to the blanket. Roman gets down on his knees, his heavy eyes expressing everything he refuses to say out loud.
Once she’s safely on the ground, Roman moves back and Levi hesitantly takes the edge of the blanket and drapes it over her body. Tears well in my eyes. For so long, I thought the boys were incapable of feeling this deeply. I thought they were monsters, unable to recognize basic human emotion, but every single day they continue to surprise me. They continuously force me to reconsider every judgmental thought I ever had about them.
They’re deep, honest men with hearts bigger than anyone I’ve ever met, but they’ve been broken and shattered over and over again. They’ve been forced to build cement walls around their hearts to not only protect themselves, but to protect their brothers. They’re stronger than I could have ever known, and it makes me hate their father more. He turned them into these beasts, stripped them of their innocence, and forced them into a world where they were corrupted and destroyed. He deserves the most brutal death, and I can’t wait to give it to him.
The boys’ mother disappears beneath the blanket and my brows furrow, not understanding why they need it. They could have just carried her out to the car like they usually do, but I guess maybe they want to do this with a little more respect. Besides, she’s been dead for twenty-something years, and I doubt they’ve ever had experience with a corpse like this. There’s no telling what could happen once her body begins to thaw.
They secure her in the blanket, and before I know it, Roman is scooping her into his arms again. He holds her bridal style instead of the over-the-shoulder bullshit the boys generally reserve for me.
Everybody stands back, allowing Roman to walk out first, and the somber look in his eyes is enough to bring me to my knees. He refuses to meet my stare, and I don’t blame him. I’ve been pushing him too far, forcing him to feel things that he’s probably not ready to admit, but now isn’t the time to push. If he needs to talk, I need to trust that he’ll come to me.
We follow Roman back out of the massive castle, and I hope to God that this is the last time I’ll have to be here, despite how this place still somehow feels like home to the boys. Once everything is said and done, I’m sure we’ll build a place of our own. Hell, maybe we’ll even get a kick out of knocking down Giovanni’s family home just to build our own in the boys’ image, a home where Roman can raise his son and have a family. I don’t know if I’ll fit into that, but the idea of not being a part of that new life darkens something deep in my soul.
We step out through the main door and it’s still crazy to me that the door opens and closes just as it was always intended. The keypad is fucked and there’s no way to keep anyone locked inside. We’ve come so far in such a little time, but the war on the horizon still terrifies me.
Snow White is placed gently into the trunk of the big SUV, and within moments, we’re sailing out through the massive iron gates and through the rolling hills. The drive is silent, each of us staring out the windshield with heavy hearts.
My fingers curl through Levi’s and I hold onto him with everything I’ve got, wishing that I could somehow take his pain. He loops our joined hands over my shoulder and pulls me into his side, needing me close, and that’s exactly how we stay until Roman brings the SUV to a stop four hours later.
Climbing out of the SUV, I glance out at the rolling, grassy hill that overlooks the sandy, crystal-clear beach below. “It’s beautiful,” I breathe, not intending to have said the words out loud.
Roman steps past me, moving toward the trunk. “It is,” he says. “I think she’ll like it here.”
Glancing back at him over my shoulder, he meets my heavy stare and I nod. “You’re right. It’s perfect.” Roman holds my stare for a moment, and as something softens in his eyes, I know that he’s going to be alright, but that doesn’t take away from just how hard this will be.