“Yes … and no. I had a good time. More than a good time.” She half smiles at the innuendo but my nerves are too shredded to appreciate it. “The part about stopping before it got too far wasn’t entirely accurate. ‘Too far’ had already happened. I was crazy about you. I am crazy about you. It seemed easier to make the break even though it really hurt.”
“Tell me about it. You certainly picked your moment, Abby.” Concussed, bruised, battered, and high on painkillers.
“I know.” Her cheeks are flushed, every freckle glowing. I love seeing her so emotional, her heart on display. “The thought of losing you in the line of duty brought some stuff to the surface. Whether I’m too reckless, my mom’s death, how my dad feels about potentially losing me. He’s terrified and I didn’t respect that enough. Seeing it from his side when I was smack bang in the middle of being mad at him was pretty confusing.”
I can see that, but best of all, she seems to be making peace with the messiness of it all. “You’re still scared about losing me on the job?”
“Of course. But that’s life, isn’t it? Abject terror that we’ll lose the people we care about. I’ve been through it and it sucks. But I can’t let that fear rule and stop me from opening my heart.” She lets out a gentle sigh. “I know you went through a rough time with your ex and here I am, jerking you around. I didn’t mean to do that, Roman. To make you in any way doubt how special and amazing you are. That you’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
My heart catches. Now we’re getting to the good stuff. “You could have talked to me instead of taking one for the team. Because that’s what we are, y’know. A team.”
She blinks those beautiful blues. “Like the crew at Engine 6?”
“No, like you and me. You in my life and the lives of my kid and my sister. And me in your life and the lives of your friends and your family, and probably, your father. If he’s still talking to us.”
She’s looking a touch dazed, probably whiplashed at how I’ve laid out our future. I won’t tell her just yet about how she needs to move in with me now and how Lena will likely be attending another wedding in the family before the year is out.
One scary step at a time.
Instead I take a half shuffle back. “How did it go with your dad?”
“You knew he was coming over to talk to me?”
“I suspected he might. Hoped he would.” I swipe a little filling from the corner of her mouth and suck my thumb. “He and I had a good talk about you, your mom, the hotbed of passion that is Engine 6.” I waggle my eyebrows before turning serious. “I told him that he can’t keep you in a glass box, with your heart and emotions locked up. That a woman as amazing as you, with all that passion and desire, has to be able to fly free.”
Abby needed to resolve this with her dad before she could come to terms with what loving freely means. Going all in with no reservations. Of course, there was no guarantee that a stubborn dickhead like Chuck Sullivan would listen to a word I said, but it was worth a shot.
She smiles wide, that soul-stirring grin I adore. “I want that. I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” Her tone is soft though the words are strong.
That’s my girl. “Today when you were talking about your mom at the service, I realized something else. Not only are you born to be a firefighter, sweetheart, you’re also born to be mine. We are stronger as one, so that’s what you need to remember. Inside the firehouse, in bed, in the diner—all of it. Together, we make everything better.”
Her lips curve. “What about the kitchen?”
“Sure, you’re really good at opening the wine.”
She gasps a laugh, releasing all that nervous energy. Swiping at a tear, and somewhere in between laughing and crying, she says, “I love you, Roman. So much. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it back during the fire. It took me by surprise and we were—well, in danger of dying.”
“Best way to do it, when you’ve got a captive audience relying on you to get them to safety.”
She sniffs. “Sneaky.”
“I love you, too.” Because you can never say it enough, right? And then we’re kissing, soaking up the rays of each other. It’s so good to claim her in public.
Someone clears a throat. Tessa again. “More pie?”
“I think we’ve got all the dessert we need,” Abby says, licking her lips. “But I’m not sure what happens next. With us and Engine 6.”
“The crews are already being realigned but we’ll report our relationship through official channels. We’ll fuck on the fire truck one night while everyone is sleeping. We’ll eat pie. We’ll live happily ever after.”
Tessa looks impressed. “Fire truck sex, huh?”
“It’s not as hot as it sounds,” Abby says drily.
I lean in close. “Then you haven’t been doing it right.”
She laughs, that dirty-sexy sound that ignites every part of me. “Now if there was some sudsy water, a fire hose, and a shirtless lieutenant, I might be able to get on board.”
I brush my lips over hers, a preview to a future I’ve only dreamed of and can’t wait to start.
“You can climb aboard me anytime, Firefighter Sullivan.”
Epilogue
Three months later
Abby
A firehouse at 2 a.m. is a strange and magical place, alive with the spirit of past adventure and potential for future action. Most of the crew are catching some Z’s, half-in and out of slumber, their bodies on alert for a call. No one sleeps well here (except Gage who can sleep anywhere and through anything). I prefer to wander the corridors in between power naps and check in with my mom at the Wall of the Fallen.
“Hey, Mom, you’re not going to believe the call I went on today.” In deference to our regular ritual, I fill her in on one more escapade in the annals of CFD, involving a puppy who got his silly head stuck in a sewer grate. Never a dull moment at Engine 6.
Outside it, too. “Dad and Kat came to ours for dinner last Sunday. Well, I mean, Roman’s.” I lower my voice. “It feels like ours because I spend all my free time there.”
Dinner was great. Roman made this amazing osso buco and creamy polenta, and even my aunt was impressed though she kept trying to help him in the kitchen because she can’t not be a domestic goddess. My father was in hard-ass dad mode around Roman, but I saw signs of softening toward the end of the night as they united in smack-talking Woz. Not exactly professional, but whatever makes my boys happy.
“And things are going well with Dad. Better than ever. I don’t think I realized how much he missed you. How lonely he’s been, and how he was clinging onto anything that would stop that loneliness from getting worse.”
In the investigation into the incident that hospitalized Roman, I was found to be “overzealous,” which Roman says is not official reprimand terminology but more likely inspired by one Chuck Sullivan. My wrist was lightly tapped, and on my return I was assigned to Luke’s platoon, where I’ve remained ever since.