“Freedom,” he said, his voice soft. “That’s what was out there. A place to become someone new. Someone better.”
I reached out and took his hand.
“I did a pretty shit job of that.”
“No, you didn’t.” I squeezed Jameson’s hand and turned in my chair. “Listen to me. I’m not going to pry or push you to talk about something you don’t want to talk about. But you need to understand that you are a good person. You made a wonderful life for yourself. You work for the CFD. You’re one of the most important people in this city. There aren’t too many people out there who sign up to risk their lives every day to save a stranger’s. You did. You should be proud of yourself.”
Jameson shook his head. “That just pays the bills. You have a very rose-tinted view of me.”
Maybe I did. But Jameson had a distorted view of himself, and it was time to show him what I and others saw.
“I see you just fine, and I disagree. I think you’re too hard on yourself. You saved me that night when you didn’t want to or have to.”
He smirked and finally looked at me. “I saved you because you were hot, and for a minute I thought about taking you home to my bed.”
“Just a minute?” My pulse skipped.
“Obviously not.”
“Well, either way, you still did it, and I’m glad you did.”
“Me too.”
The sincerity in his eyes made me catch my breath, and my heart began to thump a little harder. Jameson was trusting me, showing me the parts of himself that he kept under lock and key, and I wanted to believe that meant he was after more than just one night. But the only way I was going to know was to ask him.
“Jameson?”
“Hmm?”
“Can I ask you something?” I didn’t wait for a response, however, not wanting to lose my nerve. “Is this—you and me—is this just a one-time thing to you?”
He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed. “Is that what you want?”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not what I want at all, but…”
“But?”
“You’ve been so adamant about not getting together that I’m not sure what this is to you.”
Jameson let out a sigh and brushed his thumb across my cheek. “I don’t know either. But I can’t seem to stop thinking about you, and that never happens to me. I want you, and now that I’ve had you, I’m not sure I can just stop. Can we leave it at that for now?”
I was more than happy to leave it at that. I smiled and nodded as we got to our feet.
“I’m not good at this kind of thing, GQ. Don’t expect too much, okay?”
“Okay. But only if you don’t expect so little.” I leaned in to ghost a kiss across his lips, and a fat snowflake fell on my cheek.
I grinned and looked up to the sky as several more fell and caught in my lashes. Then I began to laugh and brush the flakes from his dark hair.
“The first snowfall. I love the first snowfall.”
Jameson took my chin and pressed a kiss to my lips that was so sweet it made everything inside me hum.
I melted into his embrace and couldn’t help but think he was much better at this than he gave himself credit for—and now all I had to do was prove it to him.
Chapter 28
Jameson
I STARED UP at the towering glass building that my GPS had led me to and wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. Earlier this morning I’d told Ryan to text me if he wanted to grab some lunch, and when he messaged back that he could be free around one and told me the address, I’d agreed to come and meet him.
But as I stood in front of the enormous building that took up nearly an entire corner block, I started to have second thoughts. I glanced down at my jeans and flannel that hung open over my white tee, and wondered if they’d even let me in the building.
There was only one way to find out. With my jacket in hand, I headed through the doors and to the front desk where Ryan had told me I needed to sign in. I gave my name and waited for them to verify I was on some kind of special list. Then I was given a visitor pass and ushered through a metal detector where I could access the elevators.
When I stepped inside, I glanced at the floor number Ryan had given me and pushed the button. The doors opened and I was face to face with an enormous poster of Ryan’s boss—Alexander Thorne.
Okay, I’m in.
The hall split off in both directions, and just as I was about to text him and ask which way to go, I heard my name. I turned to see Ryan standing just outside a set of double glass doors. He smiled, and everything inside me instantly calmed.
“Hey there, GQ.” I made my way over to him, making sure to take a nice, long look at him all dressed and pressed for work. It was difficult not to pull him in and take his mouth in a greedy kiss.
“Hey, you found me. I hope they didn’t give you any problems downstairs.”
I held up my visitor badge. “No problem. Seems that let any sort of riffraff in here. You good to go, or…”
“I just have to send off one quick email. Is that all right? It won’t take long.”
“It’s all good. I’m not in a rush.”
“Thanks.” Ryan pulled open one of the doors and gestured inside. “So come on in. I’ll show you around.”
I followed him inside and came to an abrupt halt as I took in the wide-open floor full of people on computers and phones, and some running all over the place. It reminded me of the station when the alarms went off. As Ryan weaved us through the many desks, I wondered how anyone could hear anything over the constant noise.
“This is the newsroom, where all the stories come in and are researched and fact-checked and, well, put through the wringer before they’re presented to Alexander over there”—he pointed around me—“in the war room.”
“You mean it’s always like this?”
“Like what?”
I noticed a couple of people look up from their computers as Ryan and I walked by, but when he didn’t stop, I kept on following.
“Loud. It’s loud in here.”
Ryan grinned. “Sometimes. Usually when the world’s coming to an end.”
“So that’s happening right now?”
“This is just a normal day.” He chuckled, rounded a desk off to the side of all the mayhem, and took a seat. “I’ll just be a minute. I really wanted you to meet Alexander, but he was called away to a meeting.”
Meet Alexander Thorne? I was glad Ryan had left that little piece of information out when he texted me, because I would’ve begged off for sure. I didn’t know how to talk to someone like that. Just being around all of these suits and ties was foreign enough. Places like this always made me feel…awkward.
“Maybe next time,” Ryan said as he got to his feet. “Okay, let’s go.”
I turned, about to head back in the direction we’d come, and almost ran into a blonde woman who was smiling so wide it looked like it was about to slide off her face.
“Hi, I’m Stephanie,” she said, aiming that smile over my shoulder to Ryan. “And who might you be?”