“You had a doctor’s appointment?” In all our hours of phone conversations he hadn’t mentioned that. I bit my lip, trying not to feel hurt.
Still frowning, he shrugged. “It was no big deal.”
“But now you can go out on the sub again, right?” A boulder landed right in the center of my chest. No more nightly calls. No spontaneous weekends like this. No organization projects. No Calder.
“Not that easy.” He paced over to his abandoned wineglass on the counter, took a sip. “The detailer—personnel in charge of assignments—and higher-ups apparently like me on shore duty. Guess I’m too good at what I’ve been doing, and they want to extend the assignment.”
“Oh. That must be disappointing for you.” Trying not to show my own relief that he was not imminently about to be deployed, I followed after him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Eh. It is what it is.” He exhaled hard but didn’t shrug my hand off. “Not something I get a lot of choice over. Higher-ups would like me to apply for a special duty rate dealing with operations management.”
“Maybe that would be more interesting than your current assignment?” I started rubbing his shoulder.
“Yeah. Probably. I’m not uninterested, but I’d have to agree to adjust my re-up timeline, and it would mean more shore duty.” Humming softly, he leaned more into my massage. “Faster pipeline to senior chief or a limited duty officer, but way less chance of a sub assignment.”
“But you’d still be assigned to Bremerton?” I added my other hand to the massage. Why him staying local mattered so damn much was a point better left unexamined. Calder being happy in his job should be my main concern as a friend, not any personal benefit to me or our...friendship.
“Yeah. I’d be working with the command on base that supports both the deployed subs and the ones in port. I have a call with the detailer next week about my options now that I’m medically cleared, including the special duty assignment or the chances of getting reassigned back to sub either now or with an upcoming deployment.”
“Tell me how the call goes?” I was proud of how casual I sounded, but he still tensed under my hand.
“I don’t need to bore you with a bunch of shop talk.” Turning back to face me, he pursed his mouth.
“I don’t mind. I like hearing about your work. And if we’re friends, how about being the kind you tell about a bad day or a big decision?”
That got a half smile. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll keep you posted.”
“Good.” I rubbed his biceps, wanting more than that partial smile from him.
“But right now, imagining your finished pantry is way more interesting than thinking about my job.”
“Well, by all means. Don’t let me keep you from your inventory.” I trailed after him back to the pantry. His eagerness to help me made a lot more sense now. It wasn’t necessarily about me or whatever we had going here, but rather a distraction from his work stress. Understandable. Relatable even. And absolutely no reason for my jaw to go tense. I rolled my neck to try to loosen my muscles. “You sure your head is all right?”
“Yeah. Doesn’t even hurt anymore.” Calder touched his fingers to the crown of his head then frowned more. “Heck. I got some sort of dust or plaster in my hair.”
“Oops. I warned you it was scary in there.”
“I’m not afraid of some dirt.” He handed me my clipboard again, clearly impatient to get the focus back off himself, but I wasn’t done trying to make him feel better.
“What do you say we finish up here quickly and then you can take a shower? A bigger water heater might be my favorite renovation thus far.”
“Yeah. That sounds good.” His smile was still two sizes too small, but it was a start. Sensing that he needed some time to himself, I didn’t try to invite myself into the shower either. Him enjoying one of my favorite spots in the house was its own reward, and thinking about him warm and soapy and all relaxed made me double down on finishing the pantry inventory quickly.
Calder insisted on doing some measuring and making a list of items to purchase at the home improvement place in the morning, but finally I was able to herd him upstairs and toward my master shower. The connection to my grandparents was the main reason why I’d fought so hard to keep the house, but the renovated master bath was definitely on my list as well. Large, with stone tiles and a built-in seat, it gave the room a spa vibe that never failed to relax me, and I hoped it did the same for Calder.
“I put out fresh towels earlier,” I said from the doorway, ushering him and his backpack ahead of me into the bathroom.
“Ah. Thanks.” He glanced around before looking back at me, cheeks pink. “You...uh...join me?”
“Nah.” I liked the idea of him all soapy very much, but his body language was still rather tense, and I didn’t want him offering out of obligation. “I think you’ll get cleaner without me distracting you.”
“Fair enough.” He gave me a fast kiss before turning toward the shower. Him not pursuing the idea of me joining him showed that I’d made the right choice there. Besides, there were other ways to be romantic and take care of him than soaping his back. I turned back the bedding, lowered the lights to a rosy glow that reminded me of candlelight without the fire hazard, and put on some soft music.
I debated what to wear to bed far longer than I needed to, but lounging naked or in my boxer briefs felt a little presumptuous and sexual pressure was the last thing I wanted to inspire. So I pulled on a pair of the flannel pants I normally wore and had to smile when he emerged from the bathroom in a near-identical pair, simply a different shade of plaid. He had a towel around his neck and a way more relaxed grin.
“You weren’t kidding. That water pressure is so much better than the barracks. I do feel better. Thanks.” He crossed over to the bed, and I patted the spot next to me.
“Good.”
“This is nice too.” He gestured at the room before stretching out next to me. The bed creaked. It too wasn’t used to the extra occupant. However, having someone next to me was cozy, a pleasure I hadn’t allowed myself to miss.
“You want to watch something before sleep?” I reached for the remote that controlled the flat-screen TV mounted over the dresser.
“You. I want to watch you.” Giving me a heated look, he rolled onto his elbow.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, but we don’t have to have sex.” I turned so that we were face-to-face. “I truly am happy simply with you here.”
“I’m happy too.” Face softening, he stroked my cheek. “Sorry if I got moody earlier.”