“You shouldn’t have to.”
No, I shouldn’t.
“My love life is a damn disaster.”
“There’s a hero out there waiting for us, Tea. I know it. We just need to find him.”
“Well, so far I’ve gotten the antihero that you can’t even grow to like.”
“At least you know what it felt like to be loved,” she challenges.
“Keith didn’t love me. He didn’t love anyone but himself.”
Keith is still the town hero here. No matter what he did to me, it doesn’t matter. While Nina knows the truth, sometimes I wonder if anyone else would believe it if they found out. Of course, his version paints me as the whore who tried to trap him into marriage.
Each freaking Sunday during football season, I have to hear his name, see his stupid face across the television screen, know how much money he makes while I can’t even buy school supplies for Chastity.
Nina’s eyes go soft and her lips tighten. “I wasn’t talking about him, honey.”
“Well, I sure as hell hope you weren’t talking about Derek.”
She lives in a world where impossible things happen all the time. Like a man waking up and realizing that it was you he wanted all along. I don’t have time for fantasies because they’re just that—fiction. I would much rather have my head on straight and focus on what’s real. Like bills and teenagers.
“I still think that…”
“I know what you think.” I sigh. “He got married and had a kid and somewhere in that equation, I didn’t fit. That’s what happened. He knew I was terrified, alone, living with my parents, and freaking the fuck out and he felt that I wasn’t worth the time.”
At least that’s all I can come up with at this point. Why else would he bail? Why would the guy who was supposed to be the only one I could rely on just stop talking to me completely? Maybe it wasn’t me, maybe it was his wife, but at this point in my life, I can’t keep debating it in my head. Derek made his choice and I had to go on with my life.
“It was a long time ago, Tea.”
I roll my eyes. “And a long time that I haven’t heard from him. My phone number is the same.”
I say that last part and I feel so pathetic. I’ve given up on a sudden call or appearance at my door. Believing that he was different and would come around was only hurting myself. Now, I’m just numb.
“Okay, no more talk about Keith or Derek.” She raises her hand. “Have you painted anything new? I’ve been dying to see if you added to your collection.”
I shake my head. “I haven’t had much time to paint, but I’m going to head out to the beach this weekend.” My hands have been itching to hold a brush. Painting allows me the time to just…breathe.
“Good. I’m excited to see what you come up with.”
“Me too. In fact, I might head out there a little early.”
Nina smiles, probably happy that the conversation shifted a bit too. “That makes me happy.”
It does the same for me. At least I have something of my own, even if only two other people in the world know about it.
Chapter Two
Teagan
Present
“Teagan, we’re back!” my mother announces as she opens the door dramatically.
“I see that. And so early!” I say with a smile even though I feel like screaming and throwing a fit. “How was Europe?”
“It was fabulous. Your father was so tired, he went straight home, but I wanted to come see you…and the store, to make sure it was still standing. I’m never quite sure what will happen in my absence.”
My parents are wonderful people. No one can deny that, but my mother has a way of cutting me down. It’s little comments that let me know how much of a disappointment I am.
No one is more disenchanted with the way things have gone than me.
In high school I was voted most popular, most likely to succeed, most outgoing, and best smile. I was captain of the cheerleading squad, dated the captain of the football team. We were the all-American couple that was going to set the world on fire.
Being a single mother with no money, working and living in this town, was never in anyone’s version of my future.
“Why wouldn’t the store be okay?”
She touches my face. “You never know, darling. Things don’t always go to plan.”
“Yeah, plans, daughters, who knows what might’ve happened…”
Mom ignores my jab and walks around. “I see you sold quite a few big pieces?”
I close my eyes, release a breath and nod. “I did.”
“Good. How’s my granddaughter?”
“Going to ask you if she can adopt a cat or a horse or maybe even an entire zoo.”
“I think it would be hard to keep a horse in the apartment.” Her smile is wide as she shakes her head. She may not be the most wonderful mother, but she is the best grandmother. Chastity is the one thing I’ve done right.
“Yes, but you know her, she loves animals more than people. She’s going to be volunteering with Dr. Hartz, cleaning out cages and whatnot. She’s really excited about it.”
My mother clasps her hands together, and her eyes brighten. “Oh, that will be wonderful for her.”
“I agree.”
“And Dr. Hartz is such a good man. He’ll definitely teach her responsibility, how to deal with people, and other great skills. Things that she’s probably missing out on at home.”
Oh, Mom, please feel free to keep telling me what a bang-up job I’ve done so far.
“What does that mean?” I ask, unable to stop myself.
“Nothing, but the girl doesn’t talk to anyone, Teagan. She has no friends, no social life, she doesn’t do anything but read and talk to animals.”
God forbid she doesn’t act the way my mother thinks she should.
“She’s fine. Chastity is a wonderful kid with fantastic grades. She’s happy, smart, respectful, and I’m glad she’s nothing like me at that age.”
Now it’s her turn to look horrified. To her, I was everything she ever wanted in a daughter. My popularity furthered hers at that time. People thought she had some secret as to why I was “perfect” and sought her out for advice all the time.
Except I was far from perfect.
“You had your chance, Teagan Berkeley. You had everything right there in front of you and then, I don’t know what happened.”
“Why do we do this, Mom?” I ask with sadness in my voice. “Why do we always go back to this? You just got home and instead of us catching up about what happened while you were away, you showing me photos, telling me that you’re happy to see me, we’re arguing about twenty years’ worth of shit?”
I watch the fight drain from her. Neither of us want this animosity between us, but it feels like it’s all we know. “I just want you to be happy. I want Chastity to have the life that you could have had. That’s all.”
“I’m glad that she’s not boy crazy or trying to fit in with the popular kids, because those popular kids grew up and are still mean. They stayed in this town, where it’s safe and they’re loved by all. None of those girls are making a difference in the world, and you know what? I want that for Chastity. I want her to go, live, experience, and be passionate and happy. I will do everything I can to make sure she doesn’t end up like me.”