Was that the beginning of things changing but I just never noticed? Or had we always been fated to struggle to combine two very different worlds into one?
The third summer I returned to Italy I didn’t pause when I caught sight of Rafe. I jumped into his arms, and we fell into a passionate kiss, my hands clinging to his hard, familiar body as I breathed in the sharp male essence of his scent. He whispered Italian in my ear, and I recognized some of the affectionate phrases, but it was the mio amore that thrilled me.
Giddiness bubbled in my veins. I was back.
Aunt Silvia was no longer seeing Eduardo on a romantic basis. The conversation that unfolded between us caused a tiny seed of worry.
“But why did you break up?” I’d asked, trailing her around the cottage as she got ready for her evening out. She wrapped her favorite sweater around her—a gorgeous, vibrant mix of reds and golds that was as bold as her. She’d let me borrow it one night and I felt like a movie star. “I thought you were so happy.”
“Darling, I was! Eduardo is a lovely man and we’ll always remain close friends. Things change with romantic relationships.” I must’ve looked crestfallen, because she gave her booming trademark laugh and pulled me into a tight hug. “How can I explain so you understand? Oh, you’re so young and passionate—I remember all those wonderful feelings that ripped me apart and put me back together.” She took a step back and studied me. “Olivia, I already had the great love of my life—your uncle. I’m happy now to explore the world and meet new people. Eduardo loves his place here in Positano, but he rarely ventures out. He’s happy being in his home, leading a simple lifestyle.”
“But why is that wrong? Did you want someone more exciting?”
“It’s not wrong—it’s just different. Rafe is much like his father, my love. He’s set roots deep in this place and doesn’t have the lust for travel like some others do. Eduardo is fine with the breakup, I promise.”
I sighed, still hating the idea that it didn’t work out. Sure, there were obstacles, but didn’t love conquer all? “Who’s this new man?”
Aunt Silvia shivered with delight. “Maximus Garner. Isn’t that such a strong name? He’s an actor who will be in Rome for the next few weeks shooting a film. He invited both of us to visit. You’ll come with me, won’t you, darling?”
I didn’t want to sacrifice any precious time with Rafe, but he was working so much, it would be a perfect opportunity to see the sights. “Yes, I’d love to! Can I check with Rafe on his schedule first?”
A flicker of concern flashed in her bright eyes, but it was gone just as fast. “Yes, darling, I would never think to take you away from the man you love.”
I smiled and hugged her back.
I ended up visiting Rome many days with my aunt. I loved seeing a live-action set, and then I’d roam the museums, taking pictures and sketching, lost in the gorgeous world of art I was beginning to love so much.
Rafe and I fell back into our summer routine, but I began to notice something had changed. I couldn’t articulate what it was, but I felt a restless energy nipping at me. Before, I’d been thrilled to spend hours in the garden, drawing, daydreaming, waiting for Rafe. I’d sip a caffè at one of the overcrowded restaurants and people watch, content to be a bystander rather than a participant. But once I hooked up with Julia and Ava again, we began hanging out more with a bigger crowd. My Italian was stronger, so I participated in get-togethers at the beach, jumping on Julia’s boat to party at various hot spots, and dancing most evenings at Music on the Rocks and Africana Famous Club. I was accepted into the group now, a regular like Ava, and didn’t need Rafe as much to feel comfortable.
I was growing into myself and enjoyed the new self-confidence both school and Rafe gave me. But I also noticed how the man I loved would look at me now, with a haunted worry when I cut my gaze to his. He seemed to crave more alone time with me—especially since his days were filled up with back-to-back tours. His father had been having knee issues and needed more help, so Rafe stepped up. I admired him and understood. I just decided to fill my time a bit differently than I had my past two summers. I pushed for us to be more social, when before I was thrilled to cozy up alone with him.
I never realized it had begun to cause a problem.
One late night, a bit tipsy, the girls struck up a dare and threw off their clothes, diving into the sea naked, screaming and giggling. The boys finally followed, but I kept to the side with Rafe. If this had happened before, I never would have been tempted—way too shy and awkward to want to involve myself in their mad games. But this time, I sent a mischievous grin toward Rafe. “Wanna join them?”
He blinked, obviously stunned. “You want to skinny-dip?”
I laughed. A surge of adrenaline rushed through me. “Yes, let’s do it!”
Before I could change my mind, I tore off my clothes, but left my bra and underwear on. Then I raced over the rocks, wincing at the sharpness, and dove into the water. Cries of support rang in my ears, and I laughed with delight as my friends circled around me.
It was a while before Rafe joined me. I noticed he moved slower, kicking off his shoes and peeling off his shirt and pants, the moonlight highlighting his beautiful lean muscles and dark curls. He swam over, cutting into the girl circle and grabbing me by the waist. His strong legs scissored back and forth to keep us both above water, and my friends splashed us and swam off. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I wrapped my arms around him. His body was slippery and hard against mine. “Yes. Did I surprise you?”
“I worried you had too much to drink. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
I grinned, delighted I’d managed to take him off guard. It was about time I loosened up and did more fun things. “I’m fine. I just thought it would be nice to be a little wild. Show you a different side of me.”
I expected him to laugh and tease me, but his dark eyes were serious as he stared back. He hesitated, as if not knowing how to tell me something. A shiver shook through me that had nothing to do with the cold. I kept catching an unease carved into his features, gleaming from his gaze. Was he bothered that I joined in the skinny-dipping?
“Rafe? Did I do something wrong?”
He shook his head. “No, dolcezza, you didn’t. I love seeing you happy and free and laughing. It makes my heart just as happy.”
“Then why have you been acting strange? Like you’re seeing me for the first time?”
A smile touched his lips, but his eyes remained sad. “Because I think I am. You’re changing, and I’m being selfish. I want you to stay the same and that’s wrong of me. I’m sorry.”
I blinked, not understanding the apology. “I am the same,” I insisted, cupping his rough cheeks. “I would have never done something like this before. Since I met you, I’ve been braver. More sure of myself, because you love me.”