“I know you love to go to Positano with your aunt, Livia, so we both decided you can go! Things will be crazy here with me reorganizing and getting prepped for a wedding. And even though I’d love your help, I don’t want to be selfish. Go and have a wonderful time, and when you get back, you’ll be able to see our new place in Boston. Honey, you’ve grown up so much. I’m proud of you. Proud you’ve become an independent woman on her own path. I didn’t have the opportunities that you did. Never waste them.”
Speechless, I stared at my mother as my safe world broke apart for the second time. I should have been relieved, but instead I felt as if I was being abandoned.
I was almost twenty-two. Yes, I’d been ready to declare my independence with my vow of moving overseas, but suddenly I felt like a scared little kid. It was as if all my pumped-up confidence about my future melted away, and all I was left with was doubt.
So when I saw Rafe for the first time, and he took me into his arms, I broke. Tears ran down my face as I stared into his beloved face, so safe and comforting, and I swore I’d never screw it up. We were meant to be each other’s haven and soul mate. We’d been tested with our long-distance relationship and had managed to make it this far.
One more year and we’d begin to live our lives together. I’d follow the course.
I told Rafe all about my mom and her big plans. He held me tight as I rambled, the scent of citrus and bougainvillea blossoms heavy in the air as we sat in the garden. He’d taken the day off to spend with me, and I was looking forward to rebonding and enjoying quiet time together.
“But this could be a good thing, no?” Rafe asked, stroking my hair. “I know it’s awful to feel your mother is beginning this new life, but you have always worried she’d never support your decision to move here. Now that she has someone of her own, maybe she’ll be understanding?”
He was right. I just hadn’t figured out why the idea of her accepting my decision suddenly felt so . . . flat. Shouldn’t I be giddy with excitement? I still had my dad to deal with, but he’d be more apt to support me if I secured a job after graduation. I wasn’t a kid anymore and he only wanted me to be successful.
Why was I suddenly confused?
I kept my face buried in the soft cotton of his shirt and nodded. “You’re right. It was just a shock.”
“Of course. I understand. I’ve had my own changes here to deal with.”
I lifted my head and stared at him worriedly. “What happened?”
His smile belied the seriousness in his dark eyes. “My father isn’t well. It was a hard winter for him and he was sick. He never seemed to recover and is having trouble.”
“Oh, Rafe, I’m so sorry. I thought he just had a virus or something.”
“The doctors thought so, but he is still weak. He refuses to get an operation for his knee. It’s been hard.”
I squeezed his hand. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to take over the business for now completely. Let him rest, maybe get stronger and come back later. For now, it means I won’t have much time off.” His jaw clenched and frustration radiated from him. “I’m sorry, dolcezza, but I must step in now.”
“Can you hire someone to help? I’m disappointed, of course, but more worried about you taking on too much.”
“If it continues and my father can’t go back, I will hire someone. But for now, I can do it on my own. We need the money.”
I fell silent, my thoughts churning. I hated that Rafe had to worry and had so much responsibility on him. I knew he was four years older and used to taking care of his dad, but it also didn’t seem fair. He’d never gotten the opportunity to travel, go to college, or decide if he wanted a different career path. I realized then how lucky I was. “Are you angry about being trapped?” I knew I’d be. I swore to support him completely as I braced myself for a torrent of Italian cursing and Rafe’s admission that he hated feeling his life wasn’t under his control. Instead, he cocked his head and looked surprised.
“No. I hate my father is ill. But I always knew this would be my future, and I never questioned it.” His face gentled as he stroked my cheek. “It will be better when you’re at my side. It gets lonely knowing you’re so far away.”
“Not much longer,” I promised, hugging him tight. “One more year. But for now, we’ll enjoy the summer and the time you do have.”
He hugged me back and I tried desperately to focus on his muscled warmth and comfort rather than the alarm slowly growing inside me. Before, I’d never thought past being together. But now? Where would I work? If I was in Rome, was it feasible to go back and forth to Positano? Did he want to keep the fishing and touring business only for his father and his legacy? If not, would Rafe be open to moving elsewhere so I could follow my own path?
I’d seen Adam a few times for coffee or lunch. He believed by combining sharp business skills, I could secure a great job in a private gallery. There’d be a bit of sales—which I’d previously shied away from—but Adam convinced me it was different if I worked on something I was passionate about. He had a friend in Manhattan who owned a thriving gallery and was interested in meeting me, but I hadn’t been able to confess I’d be moving to Italy after graduation. Instead, I’d nodded and agreed, figuring when I returned after the summer maybe he would have forgotten.
Adam. Things had gotten . . . complicated. Nothing had happened—I’d never allow it—but each time we got together, I noticed the way he looked at me. A spark simmered between us, ready to flame at the slightest touch, but neither of us ever crossed the line. When he’d asked about my summer, I’d simply told him I was traveling with my aunt and would be out of touch. He’d looked disappointed but encouraged me to use the time to visit art galleries abroad and gain some experience.
He never mentioned my boyfriend.
I was glad I’d insisted we never talk about my relationship, wanting to keep Rafe completely separate from my friendship with Adam. Maybe it was a dangerous game, but my gut said it was important that neither of them know about the other. I swore I’d tell Adam the whole truth when I got back to school.
The lies I’d told and endless questions swarmed like bees and gave me a headache. I desperately wanted to talk it out with Rafe and be reassured it would all be fine. But he was upset and now wasn’t the time.
Later. We’d figure it out later.
For now, I’d enjoy my time here with him and the beauty of summer.
chapter twenty-one
Pris
She looked at her sisters and nibbled her lip. Somehow, she didn’t have a good feeling about this.