Her eyes widen, as if only just realizing how much Decker is consuming me so soon. “Okay, I can see why you’re worried then. Because it’s not just the bomb sex. It’s more.”
“If I’m being honest with myself, then yeah. The sex wasn’t emotionless sex. There was a true connection there. But it’s just not the right time; I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
Clover is quiet for a moment before she answers. “Not stress about it is what you’re going to do. Just see how it plays out. Enjoy being single again. Enjoy the freedom. Do you want me to break up with Felix for a week or two so I can be wild with you?”
I laugh and roll my eyes at her bad joke. “Okay, I’ll take your advice and stop overthinking. I’m going to do what makes me happy.”
“And Decker makes you happy?”
I nod.
“Then go for it. You only live once,” she says with a cheeky wink.
I smile at her. “Thank you, I think I really needed to hear that.”
“I’m here all week,” she replies. “Also, three words: Big. Dick. Energy.”
We both break down in laughter.
Fire stirs, so we leave the café and head home.
Me with a better mindset than before.
Chapter Seventeen
Decker
The next morning I’m in the office, coffee in hand, when Cara walks inside and glances around.
“Good morning,” I say, standing up to greet her.
I’m surprised to see her here, but it’s a good surprise. We spent all of yesterday texting, but we hadn’t spoken about when we would actually see each other again. I think both of us were being a little more wary about our situation.
At least the sober versions of us are more intelligent, or so I thought. We can’t seem to stay away from each other no matter how badly we know that we should.
“Hey,” she says, a brown bag in her hand. “I knew you’d already have coffee, so I brought you a bagel.”
“Thank you,” I say, grinning. “And to what do I owe this bagel and visit?”
Her cheeks flush. “I was in the neighborhood and I wanted to ask you something.”
I gesture for her to take a seat, and then sit down opposite her on my chair. “Sure. What’s up?”
I pull out the cream cheese and jalapeno bagel and my mouth starts to water. Can this woman get any better? I don’t think that she could.
My door opens once more and Atlas, a member of the Knights of Fury MC, steps in. His eyes go to Cara and then back to me. “Shit, sorry, I’ll come back,” he says, winking at Cara.
My eyes narrow.
“No, it’s okay, come on in,” Cara tells him with a friendly smile. “I’m not here on official business.”
“Me either.” Atlas smirks, walking into my office and making himself welcome.
“Atlas, this is Cara. Cara, Atlas,” I introduce, not wanting to be rude, but also not wanting good-looking biker Atlas to look at Cara ever again.
Cara eyes his leather cut and nods. “Nice to meet you.”
I never thought about her allegiance with the Wind Dragons MC, and how that might affect how she sees other clubs. Are the Wind Dragons friends with the Knights?
“You too,” he says, then looks over at me with much less enthusiasm. “Temper asked me to drop this off to you.” He pulls out an envelope from his jeans pocket and hands it over to me.
“Thanks,” I say, scanning what looks like an invitation. Someone must be getting married.
“See ya,” he says to the two of us, and then leaves.
Cara brings those inquisitive brown eyes to me. “So hanging out with my family wasn’t the first time you’ve hung out with bikers, huh?”
I grin. “Something like that. You heard of the Knights of Fury MC before?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. The only other clubs I hear about are the ones that I have to avoid because they will try to kidnap me and use me against the Wind Dragons.”
My eyes widen. “Seriously?”
She nods, wincing. “I’m afraid so. There are times we have to go into a lockdown and all stay together, because if they know who we are, the other club will use us against our parents.”
“And this was just your life growing up?” I ask, wondering what that must have been like. It’s definitely not a normal upbringing. No wonder she’s so different from all the other women I have met.
“Yeah, I mean, not all the time. Most of the time it was just a normal childhood, but we were all trained from a young age so we could defend ourselves. When shit hit the fan, we had to all look over our shoulders, and would sometimes have members of the MC escorting us everywhere so we would be safe,” she explains, giving me an insight into her world.
“Would you want your kids to grow up like that?” I ask, curious.
“No. I mean, there are some aspects that I would use with my own children—like I’d like them to be capable and learn self-defense, and all of that. But I’d like a more quiet life for them, I think. And one where I would never have to worry about their safety. Probably impossible for someone like me, but a girl can dream. How about you? What was your childhood like?”
“It was good,” I say. “My mom was a nurse, so she worked hard and we were often left to fend for ourselves, but we always had everything that we needed and were always well loved. My dad walked out on us when I was about ten, so it was just me, my mom and my baby sister, Simone. My mom died a few years ago, so it’s just me and my sister now. We are really close. She owns a dog-grooming business not far from here.”
“I’m sorry that you lost your mom,” she replies, reaching out and touching my hand. “She sounds like an amazing woman.”
“She was. Some people say a woman can’t raise a man, but she did just that with me.” I clear my throat, getting emotional just thinking about her. “I think you and Simone would get on like a house on fire.”
She smiles. “That’s good to know. I’d love to meet her.”
Fuck. Now we’re talking about meeting family.
But we’re friends, right? And friends do that shit all the time.
“Felix was telling me about some memories about when you two were partners. Did you not like being a cop?” she asks, leaning her cheek on the inside of her palm and staring up at me.
She never looked so beautiful.
“I did love being a cop at the time, but once I became friends with the Knights of Fury MC, the lines started becoming a little blurred and people noticed. But to be honest, I was tired of watching criminals walk away on technicalities. I’m aware there’s nothing I could do about it, but knowing a murderer would just be let go for nothing other than an administrative error started to get to me. It was just the change I really needed,” I explain. “I also felt a lot of frustration over being reprimanded for finding true justice for a murder. There’s a lot to it, but I feel right about my decision.”